The Voice Within
by leoniebroeder94
Summary: Set after 7x02. Ziva is back at NCIS, but she has changed, BIG. Something or someone is telling her what to do and its not a nice thing! Tony, being Tony figures out her secret and makes it his 'Mission' to get her better. How will the team and Ziva react, when there is another twist to the known story, that no one ever expects?
1. The voice

_**Hello guys! this is another story that has nothing to do with my NCIS chronicles, but its a thing that popped into my head, after watching a movie. I hope you like it! if not, than i'm so sorry :(**_

_**If so. please review and stay with this story :D cause its going to have more than 1 chapter ;) haha**_

_**Enjoy your reading :)**_

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**Ziva's apartment, 4:30 am**

Ziva woke up in her bed, At home. Yes she was home, in America that it then. It had been two weeks since Tony, McGee and Gibbs had saved her from Somalia. From Saleem and his followers. Ducky had checker her out and discovered so much about what happened to her.

She had talked to Tony and Gibbs trusted her again. Finally everything was cleared up. Well she thought so in the beginning. As Ducky had suggested her to see someone to talk to, she said she would. She lied to the older man. She didn't. How could she talk to anyone, about this? She never wanted to talk about it again. He also said she had to stay home for 3 weeks, to settle back into life.

Ziva stood up from her bed, she saw on her alarm that it was 4:30 am. She didn't want to stay at home anymore. She walked over to the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror. She took off of the little clothing she had on, and looked at her bruises. The ones from Somalia were slowly fading away. But then she looked at the other ones. The ones on her arms. No, those ones were not from Saleem or any other men in the camp. She did those herself. After she came back, Ziva thought she was going crazy! She ignored it and thought it would go away. Little did she know that it didn't. After a while she started to listen to the voice. Oh the voice was just like Saleem's. She hated it. but she couldn't stop listening to it. He was right. He was always right.

''_You the deserve the pain, Ziva. You know that'' _It said. The new bruises were no cuts, like most of _these _people have. They were burn marks. ''_You have to do it! I hurt you every day. You deserve it!_'' It spoke again.

Slowly Ziva picked up the lighter that was lying next to the sink. She lit the lighter and brought is slowly to her arm. As he began to warm, her face made an aching look. But she did not stop until she felt the skin really burn.

She did this 3 times. Once done, 3 big places on her arm were burned. She looked to herself in the mirror. It hurt so much, but this time she didn't cry about it.

''What the hell am I doing?'' she asked herself. ''_You are getting what you deserve_'' The voice said. She shook her had to get the voice out of her mind. When she didn't hear him anymore she put her arm under the lukewarm water and so it didn't hurt anymore.

After 15 minutes she showered and dressed herself and made her way to NCIS.

**…..**

**NCIS HQ, 5:55 am**

Gibbs walked out of the elevator and into the still dark bullpen. He thought he was the first one to be there, since… yeah.. he's always the first one. He had his coffee in his hand and walked to his desk. In the corner of his eye, he saw a little light shining. It came from Ziva's desk. She was far back in her thoughts and she first hadn't noticed the silver haired older man, standing in front of her desk.

Gibbs cleared his throat. Ziva jumped a little. ''Morning Gibbs'' She said calmly, remaining in her chair.

''What are you doing here Ziva?'' He asked and took a sip from his coffee.

''I was overwhelming myself with thoughts at home. I thought if I came here and had some work, I feel better'' Ziva explained, half telling the truth.

Gibbs looked at her. She was not fully looking at him. More like looking to the best spot next to him on the other side of the bullpen area in the wall.

''Does it work?'' He asked.

''Up to now, yes it does'' She nodded. Gibbs took another sip from his coffee she looking at her. She didn't know what to think about it and spoke. ''I'm fine Gibbs, really'' She said trying to pull off a half smile.

He nodded slightly. ''What does your therapist think about this?''

''She said that, if it makes me feel better, it's a great way to return to normal again'' Ziva lied.

''Okay then. But no field work for you'' He agreed and went to his desk.

''Thank you'' She replied and returned to whatever she was working on.

An hour later McGee and Tony, walked in on the same time for a change.

''So my night was great!'' Tony exclaimed to McGee, who laughed about the story.

''Hear you had a good time?'' Ziva asked, but remaining to look at her papers. McGee and Tony looked at each other. McGee walked over to his desk and Tony slowly sat down behind his and placed his backpack onto the ground, looking at her.

''Yes I had'' He said his big smile fading away. ''What are you doing here Ziva?'' He asked.

''Working on paperwork, Tony. Something you often forget'' Ziva dropped her pen and looked at him. He looked to Gibbs and then back to Ziva. ''What?'' She asked.

''Good to have you back Ziva'' He smiled.

''Thank you Tony'' She nodded and McGee said the same and she also nodded to him. Tony and McGee started up their computers and started working also.

**…**

Throughout the day, the team was given a case. Why did they get this case? Ziva was not happy about it and it showed, somehow. It was about a little boy whose father was abusive and the boy was all covered in bruises. Ziva had acted out towards the father nearly hit him. But instead, her racing fist ended up on the wall next to his head.

It wasn't the first time Ziva was a little more aggressive that the rest of the team. But this time it was different. And Tony didn't like it.

As she plopped on her chair, she was rubbing her knuckles. There were forming bruises on it.

''Here'' Tony said as he placed an icepack on her hand. ''It will help''

Ziva looked at it and then accepted the icepack. ''Thank you. and sorry''

''You know the rules Ziva. But since you already said it, what are you sorry for?'' Tony asked he was confused. ''_Since when does she say that?''_

''For acting out''

''You do that more often Ziva. It is nothing new'' Tony tried but he knew he was not telling to truth, just trying to make her feel better.

''It's just hurting a kid. I cannot understand. It makes me mad and I acted out'' She explained.

''Don't worry about it Zeev. Five more minutes from his behavior towards you and I would have punched him myself''

Ziva showed a half smile. But then… ''_You're making thinks too beautiful Ziva. Don't you get it? he's only saying this to make you feel better. I'm disappointed at you! you should have had hit him. Letting him know how you feel'' _ The voice in her head spoke. ''Excuse me. I have to go to the bathroom'' She only said and she stood up, leaving the icepack and Tony behind.

On her way out of the bullpen she walked against Gibbs. He nearly let his coffee fall. ''Sorry Gibbs!'' She apologized.

''_She did it again!_'' Tony thought.

''Rules Ziva'' Gibbs stated.

''So—'' Ziva began but got herself off. ''I know'' She said instead and walked further.

''Is she alright?'' Gibbs asked as he walked into the bullpen.

''I don't know. She nearly hit that guy in the interrogation room'' Tony said.

''I know I saw it. You think she went back to work too early?'' Gibbs asked and took a sip of his coffee.

''No I think she just hated that guy. But I will keep an eye in her'' Tony suggested.

''You always have DiNozzo'' Gibbs said and he sat down behind his desk.

''What do yo—'' Tony began but he stopped himself. What was Gibbs saying? Was it bad? Was it good? Was it too much? ''_For now I just keep an eye on her! Seriously this time_''

**...**

Ziva threw water in her face. She wasn't wearing any make up today so it would not mess up. She looked at herself in the mirror. ''Is it really that bad, that he wants to make be feel better? He wants me to feel good, that's a good thing right?'' She asked herself.

''_Are you seriously thinking that right now? I knew there was a reason I came in your head!_'' The voice said. Ziva immediately got a bad feeling again. She knew what she had to do. ''_You have to be punished for such thoughts!_'' in defeat Ziva pulled her lighter out of her pocket.

**…..**

Ten minutes later Ziva walked back into the bullpen where Tony, Gibbs and now McGee too were waiting for her.

''You're alright Ziva?'' Tony asked first.

''I'm fine Tony, I just didn't want to mop the floor so I went to the bathroom to pee'' Ziva tried to joke.

And it seemed to work. They went back to work. Ziva grabbed the icepack that remained on her desk and put it on her fresh wound. She had still her sleeve over it, so that they couldn't see it. but McGee had noticed a difference.

''Uhm Ziva? I thought you hurt your knuckles?'' He asked.

Ziva was startled, that they had noticed and all eyes on her was not doing anything good. ''Uhm.. I hurt my wrist while hitting the wall, it's just to make sure that it's okay'' She lied. Tony and McGee looked back to their work, but Gibbs remained looked at Ziva. She didn't even notice it. She maybe was telling the truth about her knuckles and wrist. But he saw she was rubbing her whole arm. she looked nervous

''_Why would she be nervous?_'' He thought. But the day went by and Ziva did not made more weird scene's, so he let it go.

**….**

As the day past they could all go home. McGee and Gibbs went home. After that Tony made his way to leave, noticing Ziva wasn't. He saw she was in deep thoughts and probably hadn't noticed the time. He walked over to her and put a firm hand on her arm to get her attention. He jumped when he noticed that she flinched, and it seem to hurt. She pulled her arm away.

''What is it Tony?'' She asked trying to hide the fact it still hurt.

''Just letting know it's time to go'' He said watching her expression.

''Oh okay. Thank you'' She simply replied and wrapped up her work. Tony stayed looking at her and she noticed the eyes. ''Something else I can help you with, Tony?''

''No nothing. Nothing at all'' He said and walked to the elevator. ''Good night Ziva''

Ziva watched the elevator door closing. And she rested her elbows on her desk , burying her face in her hands. ''What if he has noticed?''

''_Don't you think he would have said something by now? Get over yourself, they are not paying attention to you, Ziva_'' The voice in her head spoke.

''Your right''

'_'Of course I'm right! I'm always right!''_

Ziva grabbed her bag and went home. It had been a long day and she was more tired than she had hoped to be.

**…..**

**Gibbs's house, 22:30 pm**

Gibbs as always, working on his boat. He had a glass of bourbon stand next to him and he had music quietly playing in the background.

''That is new'' Tony thought out load.

''You watching me, is also new, DiNozzo'' Gibbs replied. Tony then realized he was thinking out loud and made his way down the stairs. ''To what do I owe this please?''

''It's not a pleasure to be here, at the moment'' Tony said and he sat down on one of the wooden boxes. Gibbs heard the tone of Tony and let go of his tools. He took a seat next to Tony and looked at him.

''Why are you here than, Tony?''

''She's not herself boss. She's jumpy and even more light burned than normal (oh if Tony only know)'' He explained.

''She just was saved from a 3,5 months hurt in Somalia, don't you think she has to take some time to recover from that''

''I know. But Ducky said the bruises she had, from whatever it is, should be gone by now. And first the knuckles I can understand, but than her wrist, she said she hurt it too, while hitting the wall, I hesitated. You saw that. And this evening after you left and Ziva and I were still there, I just put my hand on her arm and she looked so hurt, I was hurting her!'' He explained.

''Don't you think it's just the touch that startled her? After what she has been through and I can't imagine what, I think she just needs time''

''It was different Gibbs. I don't know why but, something, beside the fact she just got back, is going on with her''

''You've kept a close I on her. Not down her shirt for a change'' Gibbs joked.

''I never— Yes I have watched her close. She's my partner boss, I'm worried about her'' Tony explained. Gibbs murmured about that and went back to working on his boat.

''Well, you're an investigator, so investigate something'' Gibbs suggested.

''You're worried too, otherwise you wouldn't let me figure it out. I can see it in your eyes, boss. You also want to know what's going on with her''

''Go home DiNozzo'' Gibbs only replied.

Tony smiled. ''Goodnight boss. So you tomorrow'' He said and he left ''_Starting tomorrow I will start operation Dah-veed''_ He thought and went home.

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_**So, that's it for this chapter! i hope you liked it! :D please review i love reviews!**_

_**Cyaa! Leonie**_


	2. It's a Friends Duty

_**Yaay :D 2nd chapter here we come. i had not expect this story, become more than two chapters, but as i know about now i have some idea's**_

_**So i hope you like it!.. Enjoy your reading :)**_

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**2weeks later, Tony's Apartment, 4:30 am**

Tony opened his eyes, he was shot by the bright lights that were coming through his curtains. He turned around and thought to himself he could lie down for just 5 more minutes. Oh those five minutes took so long. and when he opened his eyes once again, he saw on his alarm that is was 5 am.

''Shit!'' He called to himself.

He had promised himself to go to work early. So maybe he could beat Ziva there. He had tried it every day, but she _and _Gibbs were always earlier, then him. He hastily uncovered himself and stood up from his now king size bed and ran in his boxers to the bathroom. He took a quick shower and dressed himself.

**…..**

**Meanwhile, Ziva's apartment, 4:15 am**

Ziva pressed the snooze button of her alarm and rolled out of bed. Yes she rolled. It was still 4:15 am. Earlier then she normally woke up, but she was determined to go the to the gym this morning. She wanted to train of her frustration, the voice that kept yelling at her. She didn't want to hear it, because she knew she would listen to it. But now? She wasn't training and yet again the voice spoke to her. In defeat she grabbed the lighter, walked to the bathroom and began her morning routine.

Once done she put on her track suit, she rubbed over her arms, feeling the fresh burn marks under the fabric. She ignored the pain, grabbed her keys and bag and started jogging to work.

**…..**

**NCIS, 5:45 am.**

On his way to the HQ he got his breakfast and now he was making his way to the building. On the parking lot he didn't see Ziva's mini and he knew for sure he had beaten her. He walked into the building. It was still dark. Tony wanted to press the button of the elevator, when his ears alerted sounds coming from the gym that was on the main floor. Seeing through the big hall he saw the gym was lite.

''Who would be training now?'' He asked himself. ''Ziva?'' He answered himself as he walked towards the doors and looked through the window.

There she was. Boxing against a punching bag. Still she had her track jacket over her shirt. She was sweating all over and she looked terrible. Well she was always beautiful in Tony's eyes, but now she looked terrible. He saw the twinges every time she hit the bag with both of her fists. It was awful to look at. Why did she do this to herself?

He walked in, but she didn't notice. He could see frustration in her eyes, that it didn't went as she wanted. He walked over to her and when Tony saw that in her eyes there were little tears appearing, he grabbed her arms. But was shocked at her reaction. She screamed. She tried to get loose, but Tony didn't let her go and unwilling hurt her more.

''Tony you're hurting me! please let go!'' Ziva screamed. With this Tony let go and saw Ziva holding onto both of her arms, in pain. He walked towards her, but instead she just kept walking back. ''Stay there Tony!'' She demanded.

''I barely held you and you were hurting. Heck you were hurting without me even here! What is going on, Ziva?''

''Nothing. Just want my frustration to go away! That's all!'' Ziva defended.

''So you're saying that you're fine?'' Tony raised his eyebrows in disbelieve. ''Ziva look at you! you're not fine, you are deeply troubled about something''

''Oh great. Now you're using my words against me!?'' She rolled her eyes. ''Leave me alone Tony'' Ziva told him and wanted to walk past him. But Tony made a step in her direction, causing her to bump into him with her arm. ''Ow!'' She yelled and hold onto her arm. She wanted to walk away again without saying anything, but this time Tony stood before her.

''Oh no you don't!'' Tony said and he stopped her. Trying not to hurt her this time.

''Tony. Just leave it! it's none of your business''

''You're my friend Ziva! I went to the end of the world for you. and now when your still hurting you say it's none of my business?''

''So because you did that, you think you can help with every problem that I have?''

''I can try!''

''Fine! You wanna know what's wrong?'' She said pulled up her sleeve. ''This! This is what hurts! Now you're happy? okay, Goodbye than'' She said and she walked off.

Tony stood there. Not knowing what to say. He was flabbergasted. He watched her walk off. ''_Did I really just see that? Burn marks? But Ducky said, her wounds would've healed by now. Or at least most of them and only scars_''

His mind was racing. What should he do with this information? Defeated he went upstairs. Once there he saw Gibbs sitting there. But Ziva wasn't. He went to his desk. And Gibbs saw the look on Tony's face.

''What did you do with Ziva?'' Gibbs demanded an answer.

''Ziva?'' Tony pretended not to know what's going on.

''Yeah she came in here, all upset and she went to the bathroom'' Gibbs explained.

''Ooh'' Was the only thing that Tony could bring out. He started up his computer.

''Tony, what did you do?''

''I.. I didn't do anything! I just came in'' Tony lied. Gibbs looked at him. He couldn't figure out if his agent was telling the truth. But he was interrupted when Ziva marched into the bullpen.

''What?'' she asked as she saw both Gibbs and Tony looking at her.

''You changed clothing'' Gibbs stated.

''I prefer to work in clothes I have not sweated in this morning'' Ziva replied and sat down behind her desk. Gibbs nodded and looked at Tony. Tony was looking at Ziva and Ziva was trying very hard not to look up from her work.

Tony noticed that she _again _was rubbing her arms. And now he knew why. ''_Oh Ziva. Let me help you. Who is hurting you? Why does she always have bad boyfriends?'' _

Tony thought it was someone else hurting her. In theoretic speaking it was someone else. In her head that is then.. How could he know that she was the one hurting herself?

**….**

The day was frustrating for everyone, especially for Ziva. They just couldn't get the killer. Not that, that was what Ziva's was bothering. She just couldn't help thinking about Tony.

''What would he be thinking. I know Tony, he mind should be racing right now. I just can feel his eyes piercing through me'' She thought. ''_You see what happens when you keep telling him things? He's going to find out that you're nothing but weak!_'' The voice spoke. Ziva put her head in her hands.

''Shut up!'' She yelled, not realizing she really yelled instead of just in her mind. Tony, McGee and Gibbs looked at her.

''Ziva, I agree with you that Tony should stop bragging about his movie collection, but don't you think your overreacting?'' McGee asked. Ziva's head shot up. She looked around. Everyone. Well Tony, McGee and Gibbs were staring at her

''_Ow you have got to be kidding me. Are you really so stupid to start yelling in front of everyone?_'' The voice in her head said. ''Sorry about that. guess your right Tim. I overreacted. Excuse me. I have to go to the bathroom'' She explained and took off.

''Again with the ''Tim'' since when does she do that? And also again ''sorry'' She acting strange'' McGee told. But none of the other two replied so he went back to work.

Gibbs looked at Tony. He was becoming nervous as Ziva took long to come back.

''Something on your mind, DiNozzo?'' Gibbs asked narrowing his eyes at his agent.

Tony looked up. ''Huh? Ooh no boss'' He said trying to make a half smile.

''With me now!'' Gibbs said and grabbed Tony on his arm. He dragged him to behind the stairwell and spoke again. ''Since when you do lie to me so confident?''

''okay fine! I told you, that I was worried, about 2 weeks ago, right?'' Gibbs nodded. ''Well I got nothing. Until today. She was in the gym and it looked like she was hurting so I went over there, but at the moment I touched her, she screamed!''

''Was that why she was so upset this morning?'' Gibbs questioned.

''I guess so. Let me handle it. I just want to help her'' Tony suggested.

''I know you do'' Gibbs said and he gave him an pat on the shoulder. Tony let out a light smile and they walked back to the bullpen. Once there Tony and Gibbs's both noticed that Ziva still hasn't returned.

''Ziva's still in the bathroom?'' Tony asked looking around

''I think so. She hasn't returned'' McGee replied. Tony looked over to Gibbs who by that time had settled down behind his desk again.

''I'll go check on her'' Tony said and he walked towards the bathrooms.

**…..**

**Meanwhile, Lady's room **

''Come on Ziva. Keep calm. It's not the first time you acted out'' Ziva was pacing in the bathroom. ''_Did you see the way they looked at you? they just think you're a weirdo, especially DiNozzo!_'' the voice spoke. ''Did was not my fault. If you just shut the hell up, I wouldn't have screamed!''

Ooh great she's arguing with the voice now!

''_Don't you have that tone with me! You know what you have to do now, don't you?'' _Ziva watched herself in the mirror. Really she did not want to. But somehow, she couldn't help her hand going through her pocket and pulling out that damn lighter. She pulled up her sleeve and held the lighter under her arm, just too far away for her sleeve to cut fire, but close enough for a new burn mark.

While the tears of the burning she felt, were forming in her eyes, the sound of a doorknob moving, interrupted her. She closed the lighter and listened.

''Ziva? Are you still in there? why's the door locked?'' The voice of Tony came from the other side of the door.

''Go away, Tony. I don't want to talk, and certainly not with you!'' She snapped.

''Come one Ziva let me in. What do I have to do, for you to let me in?'' Tony pleaded.

''You have to shut your damn mouth''

''Okay, I can do that. Just let me in. I want to see that you're okay'' Tony said and I went silent. ''Ziva?'' He wanted to start again, but he stopped as he heard the lock turning and the door went open.

''What is it with us and bathrooms?'' Ziva tried to joke.

Tony stepped in. ''Privacy I guess'' He saw Ziva's light and almost invisible smile, fade completely. She didn't look at him, but he could see she had dried tears in her cheeks. ''Ziva—''

Ziva cut in. ''I thought I told you to be quiet, Tony'' Tony went silent.

Ziva who didn't had the change to hold her arm under a stream of water yet, began to feel it. ''_Don't do it Ziva. Don't show it!_'' the voice spoke. But that only caused showed frustration in her face. And Tony picked it up very fast.

''Ziva. I know I wouldn't say something, but I'm your friend. I wouldn't be if I did not talk to you''

Ziva walked backwards. Tears filling in her eyes again. ''I cannot talk to you, Tony''

''But you can Ziva'' He took a step towards her. ''Why do you feel like you can't?''

''Because he says so!'' She called. ''_Keep your mouth shut, bitch!'' _The voice in her head said.

''Who? The same one who's hurting you? because I will kick his ass, when I found out who's hurting you'' Tony told her. ''Who is hurting you Ziva''

''No one is Tony!'' Ziva defended.

''Ziva look at this!'' Tony grabbed her not sore hand and pulled up her sleeve. ''Look!''

Ziva looked down at her arms, but the second the wounds got her eye, she looked away closing her eyes. ''_Why can't he just leave it alone?'' _She thought.

''Don't say it's you doing it yourself'' He said not expecting anything.

''But I am Tony!'' Ziva cried out in frustration and sank onto her knees.

Tony's eyes widened. ''What?''

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_**Tony found out! :O well that to expect from a TIVA fan and TIVA story :) **_

_**So please review. please let me know idea's you have in your mind and let me what you think so far, i really appritiate it :D **_

_**So see you soon! Leonie 3**_


	3. Clash! Tony vs The Voice

_**Thanks for the lovely reviews :D i really appresiate them :) Also welcome to the new followers and such! **_

_**So here's the next chapter. i really hope you like it and afterwards let me know what your think please! Enjoy your reading :D**_

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**Lady's room, 2:30 pm**

''What?'' Tony's eyes were wide. Ziva turned her face from him. But he could see her lip trembling. ''Ziva?'' He was looking for those beautiful brown eyes he admired so much, but they continued staring at the door, like she wanted to run so hard.

''_See what you did? now he thinks you're a creep! And he's right too'' _The voice told her. ''Shut it! shut up!'' Ziva yelled and she covered her ears.

''Ziva what is it?'' Tony said and he reached out for her. She was still sitting in the corner. Knees pulled to her chin. He sat down next to her and he wrapped his arms around her.

''_No! He's too close for you! Get away from there!'' _The voice demanded. Ziva obeyed and she panicked in Tony's arms. She managed to get away from his grip and she ran over to the sink. Tony watched her, not knowing what to do.

Ziva was breathing heavy and looked in the mirror, seeing Tony standing on the other side of the room, looking at her. ''_You have to do it! You disobeyed to many rules. And him seeing you doing it, will be for him as well for you a punishment'' _

''You shouldn't have come in here Tony'' Ziva coldly said and she went into her pocket again. She pulled up her sleeve and turned. She looked Tony straight in the eyes and lit up the lighter.

''Ziva no!'' Tony demanded her to stop. She didn't listen. Ziva put the light under her arm, much closer than usual and directly a burn appeared on her arm. She cried, tears streaming down her cheeks. Tony couldn't see it anymore. He ran over to her and hit the lighter out of her hand. He watched her.

''_Get a grip Ziva! Normally you would have hit him by now!_'' The voice screamed. But Ziva just stood there. Her eyes as cold as ice. Not moving away from his. Tony looked only at her arm. This time he had a good look at all the marks. Too good for his willing.

''Ziva. Why are you doing this?'' Still his eyes wide of all the wounds he found.

No response. but Ziva's face turned terrified. So lost. She sank onto the ground again. ''_What are you doing?! Stand up, bitch!''. _''Tony?'' Ziva voice suddenly very vulnerable, small and in a whisper. ''Help me'' Now she really couldn't hold back and cried. Pulling her knees up and her head sank in between them.

Without a moment of thought Tony kneeled down beside her. He had never seen her so little. She looked like a little girl crying for her parents, but worse. He sat down next to her, his back against the wall. He laid one arm over her shoulders, pulling her close to him. It was the only thing, he could think of.

''_How the hell am I going to do this?'' _He thought, but his mouth said something else. ''I will help you Ziva. Of course I will'' He promised and kissed her in her hair. For 5 minutes they just sat there.

''I am scared, Tony'' Was the first thing Ziva said.

''I'm going to help you. But you're going home now'' Tony stated.

''Gibbs is probably wondering what is taking so long'' Ziva looked up to him.

'' I'll explain him. You don't have to worry about that'' He told her. He stood up, Ziva immediately missing his warm body. He reached a hand out for her.

''_Don't you dare take it Ziva!_'' The voice protested. Tony could see the struggle in her eyes.

''I won't hurt you'' He said and Ziva looked up to him. Still his hand reached out to her. She slowly brought her hand to him and then she grabbed it, tight. She let herself be pulled up by him. And she stood up close to him. She looked in his eyes and he did too. He gave her an encouraging squeeze and he began to lead her out of the bathroom.

**…..**

**Back in the bullpen**

Gibbs was tapping with his pen on his desk. McGee tried to concentrate but it didn't work. They both wanted to know what was going on in the bathroom. 15 minutes and Tony and Ziva still hadn't returned. Gibbs's mind was racing. He wanted to know what was going in there and with Ziva.

At the moment he wanted to stand up from his seat and walk in personally, his two agents, both walked into the bullpen.

''What took you guys so long?'' McGee questioned, not noticing that Ziva looked broken. Tony gave him a stare.

''Boss? Can I have the day off?'' Tony asked as he turned to Gibbs. Gibbs was a little surprised by the sudden question but when he saw that Ziva was sitting behind her desk, broken like a little girl, shaking. He knew that Tony had figured out what was going on.

''Yes you two can have the day off. McGee and I will survive here'' He agreed. Tony was packing his stuff and also that from Ziva.

''Ziva. I'm going to bring you home okay?'' Tony said and she only nodded. She stood up and walked towards the elevator. Tony walked to Gibbs. ''I will call and explain when I get the change, boss. Thanks for giving me a day off'' Tony thanked him. He walked back to Ziva who was waiting by the elevators and stepped in with her.

''Are you trusting Tony with her in that state?'' McGee asked Gibbs after the doors were closed.

''Yes. I think he is exactly what she needs, right now'' Gibbs said.

**...**

**Elevator, 3:00 pm**

As Ziva and Tony were on their way down to the parking lot. The Elevator stopped on a different floor first. when the ding was heard and the doors opened, Abby was standing in front of the two.

''Oh hey guys!'' she said in her usual happy tone. ''I was just on my way up''

''Hi Abbs'' Tony greeted her. But Abby did not get a response from Ziva. Ziva continued looking at the ground.

''Are you alright Ziva?'' Abby asked. She had heard stories of McGee about she acted out once in a while on the last two weeks. But she never had the chance to talk or see Ziva herself. She was looking for her eyes.

''Ziva is not feeling well, Abby. I'm bringing her home'' Tony said. Abby looked up to him.

''Does Gibbs know about it?'' She asked and he nodded.

''I think you should take the next ride of the elevator'' Tony suggested and Abby understood him. She stepped away for the doors and said her goodbye to them. Then the elevator door closed again.

**…..**

**Tony's apartment 3:20 pm**

Tony's opened the door to his apartment. He let Ziva go in first. He first thought he would bring her to her home, but he had changed his mind. Maybe a different environment would help her. He still had no idea what to do or what to expect, and he wasn't sure what he was doing now, but Ziva did not protest. Heck she hadn't said a thing since he grabbed her hand in the bathroom.

He closed the door behind her and took her coat. This was the first time anyone had seen his apartment. But he knew this was for a good cause. Ziva quietly looked around. Other than the fact that it was all need and tidy it was pretty much as she expected to be. So Tony. Big Movie shelves, the big TV. A big cooker in the kitchen. Now she looked at the big goldfish, swimming around in her fishbowl.

''That's Kate'' Tony said standing beside her. Ziva turned and looked at him but didn't say anything. She looked tired. Tony could see the bags, slightly forming under her eyes. ''I know I told you to bring you home, but I thought it maybe was a good idea to let you stay here for a while''

Ziva didn't respond. She walked over to the couch and sat down in the left corner. Tony sat on the coffee table to face her. He had grabbed an first aid kit and set it next to him. He wanted to grab her hands in order to get to her burns, but she pulled away. ''Ziva I'm not going to hurt you. I want to help'' He reassured her.

slowly he grabbed her hand again and he pulled up her sleeve. Again he was shocked to see the burn marks. Every time he saw them he was shocked. He didn't say anything. He only grabbed ointment and put it on her arms. He rubbed it in gently. He could see her face changing from hurt of touching it, to relief once the coolness of the stuff was working. He then rolled bandaged around her arms and taped it up with a plaster.

''Any other spots I should know about?'' He asked determined to find out everything.

Ziva looked at him. She wasn't sure she wanted to let him know it was worse than he thought. but it was worse, so much worse. She didn't began with her arms. She began on her stomach. But once it was fully burned as much as possible she had to begin somewhere else.

The silence and the look on her face, Tony took it as a nod. ''Where Ziva?'' He asked.

''My stomach'' She answered in a very quiet whisper.

''Lie down'' Tony demanded. Ziva wanted to say so many thing. but she just obeyed him, because she knew it was either listen to him or to the voice. So she lied down and pulled up her sweater. Tony's eyes went wide once again. But he kept calm. Not that he got used to the sight of burn marks, but because he knew that otherwise Ziva would panic again.

''You know, I always thought I got the rub your stomach and side in other circumstances'' He tried to Joke, while putting the salve over her stomach. It brought a little light smile on Ziva's face.

''In your dreams DiNozzo'' She stated.

Once done he pulled her t-shirt down. ''I'm sorry if I hurt you with this''

''It's fine Tony'' Ziva told him. ''_No it's not!_' The voice said. Ziva shut her eyes and shook her head. Tony noticed it, but wasn't sure what to do.

''You want to lie down for a bit?'' He asked her once she opened her eyes again. She nodded slightly and followed him as he walked over to the bedroom. ''I know it's not big or much—''

''Like I said: It's fine. I just have nothing to wear'' Ziva said and he pointed to his dresser.

''Look in there. I'm sure there is something in it'' He said and he walked away.

Ziva looked around in the room. she had thought Tony would have a king size bed and a luxurious design, but the room was very bare, with only a few photo's. She liked it though and she went over to the dresser.

Once she had picked out a big university T-shirt. She got dressed before the mirror. Ziva looked at herself, once she was undressed and only in her underwear. Instead of seeing all the marks on her body she now looked like a mummy. All covered in bandages.

''_Look at yourself! What would Tony have thought when he put those on you! You're a freak and there's nothing you can do to change that!_'' The voice in her head spoke. She quickly pulled the t-shirt over her head and walked to the bed. She lied down and just watched the ceiling. Tears in her eyes. ''_What the hell am I doing'' _She thought.

**…..**

**NCIS HQ 3:50 pm**

Unlike other days, Gibbs was waiting for a phone call. No he didn't want a case, he was waiting for Tony to call. He had expected him 30 minutes ago, but still the phone hadn't rang in those minutes. McGee noticed the certain emotion in Gibbs's eyes. He too wanted to know what was going on with Ziva. They all were worried.

The phone rang. And it not even went fully one time ad Gibbs pulled the handset from the receiver.

''Talk to me'' He stated and put the phone on speaker.

''_Boss it's me_'' The overly familiar voice spoke. Tony.

''I'm here too Tony'' McGee rolled his eyes.

''Where is Ziva?'' Gibbs asked. It was the first thing that came in his mind.

''_She's asleep. She's in my apartment. Boss she's in really bad shape'' _Tony concluded.

''How bad?'' McGee asked this time.

'_'Uhm. She is in the routine of hurting herself. She burns herself, boss_'' Tony said. Gibbs could hear the tremble in Tony's voice. Worry.

''You sure about that?'' Gibbs asked

'_'Yes. She's all covered in fresh burn marks, and she did it right before my eyes. I not sure if I ever get that picture out of my head_'' Tony now could hear the silence, and he knew that McGee and Gibbs were as shocked as he was.

''What are we going to do?'' McGee said to Gibbs.

''She needs to get better DiNozzo. She's not our coworker. We are her friends, you're her best friend''

'_'I know, but I don't know what to do_'' Tony said with frustration.

''I'm sure you think of something, DiNozzo_'' _Gibbs stated.

''_I think that I need more time than today for that, boss'' _Tony explained.

''I know. You can have the week off. Our friends are more important than the job''Gibbs concluded. ''Call me as soon as you know more''

'_'Thanks boss. I will_''

**…..**

**Back at Tony's apartment**

After Tony had hung up, he walked over to his bedroom door and opened it slowly. He was pleased to see Ziva asleep and not seeing the face she gave him today in the lady's room. Her ''_Help me_'' was the most terrifying he had ever heard her talk, and he heart sank that moment. But even so, this face she had now. Was also filled with worry. He missed her smile. And the lite up brown eyes.

How could a great warrior, _his_ ninja and once a Mossad officer, go so far, to go hurting herself? He didn't know how, but was going to use this week. He was going to help her.

''_I only have no idea, how!_'' He thought.

* * *

_**Omg Tony's soooooo sweet for Ziva! :O eventhought he had thought to rub her stomach in her other situation... Well that's Tony.. XD **_

_**So please let me know what you think, and don't hesitate to say any idea's for the next chapter(s). please review i love reviews and you! :D **_

_**xx Leonie**_


	4. Struggle

_**Yay ! chapter four :D so here it comes than. sorry if my timing to update changes alot! it had to do with my work. one day work from 7:30 am untill 1:30 pm and other days from 1:30 pm untill 10 pm :O its a hard world XD **_

_**So anyways, thanks for the new followers and such! really love you guys :)**_

**_enjoy your reading :D_**

* * *

**Tony's apartment 00:15 pm**

Ziva awoke. Opening her eyes she noticed she wasn't in her room where she thought she would be. This wasn't here room. Neither was it the time to wake up. She looked at the clock.

''Is it really that late?'' She thought. ''_So finally you're awake huh?''_ The voice was awake too. ''_I thought you were going to sleep all day_''

Ziva hated hearing that voice. She put her hands on her ears, but it didn't work. ''_You see what DiNozzo does to you? he makes you feel annoyed! Back to business, though. The bathroom is that way_'' Ziva looked at the door of the bathroom. She uncovered herself from the covers and then she noticed the bandaged on her arm. She stroked over it.

''_No! rip it off!'' _The voice screamed! Ziva started to be restless, panicking. On the one hand it felt so nice to have them over her wounds, they hurt less. But then again, the voice was the boss, more than Gibbs even. She screamed. What was she supposed to do?

Tony paused his movie. That sound, that scream. ''Ziva'' He whispered and he jumped from his couch. He stormed into his bedroom and saw Ziva pacing around. Trying to get those damn bandages off of her.

''Ziva! What are you doing?'' He called above her frustration. She turned to face him.

''Tony?'' She was confused, but then it hit her. She was in his apartment. How could she forget about that.

''Yes Ziva. It's me. Do you remember again?'' He asked her. She nodded. But then she continued trying to peel off the bandages. Tony walked over to her. He grabbed her at both of her upper arms. Knowing there were less wounds there and he hold her. ''Stop it! it's okay. I put those on'' He said looked straight in her eyes.

''_Look away from him!'' _The voice demanded. But even though Ziva tried so hard, it didn't work. Somehow Tony was winning against the voice. It scared her. She still struggled in his arms. He stayed focusing on her eyes. And as the moments past, he felt her giving up the fight, and then she stopped, completely. ''_You're doing it again. Ziva, listen to me!_''

Tony loosened his grip. ''I'll make you some lunch'' He said and she nodded again. He turned and she followed him into the kitchen.

''How about some sandwiches?'' He asked. ''I am an expert in them'' He tried to cheer her up, by using a happy sound. But she did not respond to it. ''I just make them and then you can decided whether I'm right or wrong'' He said and he began to prepare the sandwiches.

Ziva took her eyes of him and walked over to the couch and settled down on it, pulling up her legs. She looked around in the apartment. Again the big movie shelves hit her, so many movies. It was a really nice apartment, nice living room and the design was actually pretty cool too. What confused her, was the piano standing there. ''_Does he play?_'' She thought.

She looked back at him. He had just finished up making the sandwiches and was sucking the mayo off of his fingers. He picked up the plates and walked over to her. He sat down next to her and handed one plate to her. She hesitated.

He chuckled. ''I didn't poisoned it, Ziva''

She gave him a look and then took it from him. She grabbed the first one and took a bite of it. she made weird expressions as she chewed her bite, but then her face went blank, leaving Tony in confusion whether she liked it or not. But then she took another bite.

''_Score! She likes it_'' Tony thought and a smile appeared on his face.

After they finished lunch, Tony put the plates in the sink and returned to his seat, where he turned on the television. He looked at her from his eye corners. She was still curled up in the other side of the couch not showing any emotions then broken, scared struggle and confusion. It worried him even more that, she hadn't said anything to him since they had left the bathroom. Only nods came from her. and that one horrible scream.

_''It's taking too long Ziva. You have to go now!_'' The voice said. ''_Tony, has to have a lighter somewhere'_' Ziva thought and she looked around, searching for something that can burn.

Tony had noticed that she was looking around. ''You won't find anything'' He said as he continued looking at his TV. She looked at him. ''I don't use lighters or matches, my cooker is electric'' He stated. Ziva opened her mouth, like she wanted to say something. ''_Quiet!'' _The voice screamed and she closed her mouth again. She lowered her head and started to stare at and pick on her toes.

After 5 minutes of this, Tony turned off the TV, but continued to stare at it. By his sudden action Ziva looked up and stared at him. ''I want to help you Ziva. I really do, but I can't do _any_thing if you don't start talking'' He finally got serious.

''_Don't talk!'' _The voice screamed. ''I can't Tony'' She said in a very soft whisper and she looked away from him. She did at the same moment he turned to look at her. Tony saw her lip tremble.

''Then why did you ask me to help you?'' He asked

''_Yeah why did you? He's bad business! Don't speak to him!'' _The voice in between thoughts and Tony. ''Because I want you to help me'' She said frustrated, looking back at him. He could see the tears filling up in her eyes.

''Than talk'' He called.

''I can't!'' She yelled back.

''Why not!'' Now he got a little frustrated.

''Because he won't let me!'' She shouted, and then she realized she had said it! ''_What the hell Bitch?! That was a rule you disobeyed once again. Go!_'' Ziva didn't listen to the voice this time. She only had thought and attention to Tony who, stared at her with confusion. ''_Where are you waiting for. Go to get something, that makes pain!'' _Ziva wanted to stand up but Tony grabbed her wrist.

''Tell me Ziva. Who is he?'' He said calm. He just wanted to know so bad. Ziva plopped down on the couch. Tony by this time sat crossed legged, on it looked straight at her.

''I don't know, Tony. I don't know who he is. He's not even real'' Ziva finally admitted in a whisper, her voice cracked.

''How do you mean?'' Tony asked.

''I mean. He's in my mind. It's more like it's an earphone, like we use on an undercover operation or a mission. Someone yelling in my ear like that, all the time. Every minute of the day, telling me what to do'' Ziva explained. ''_Yeah but you're not doing a good job! Told you, you're weak!'' _The voice screamed. Ziva twitched by the voice.

''He's doing it now?'' Tony asked. Ziva didn't answer.

''I just can't ignore him, Tony'' She cried.

''How did it start?'' Tony changed the question.

''_Don't say it!'' ._ ''It started four weeks before you came to Somalia. At first I kinda liked it, because I felt so alone, and what it said, made sense. But then it started saying even more bad things than Saleem, and I.. I just went along with it and by the time I noticed what I was doing, I came home and I couldn't ignore it anymore. I felt even more alone than in Somalia'' By the time Ziva was finished she was crying.

''_Ugh! You filthy bitch! How can you be so open with him? How many times do I have to punish you for it?'' The voice said. _

Tony was taking it all in. The only thing he could think about, of doing was pulling her into a hug. And so he wrapped his arms around.

''You think I'm a freak, don't you?'' She said and she hold on to one of arms that was wrapped around her.

''No! you're not a freak'' He said stroking her back, to calm her down. ''But now you told me, is it saying anything?''

''It says that I'm weak for talking to you and every time I do, I have to burn myself''

'' you're not weak Ziva, not for talking to me and you proved how strong you are, after surviving that long in Saleem's camp. I know many women who would have gave up, months before I came and got you''

''Then why does it keep saying it?'' Ziva was still crying.

''It wants power, and having power over one of the strongest woman in the world, make him seem less weak'' Tony didn't know how to describe it, it was a mind thing, but for her it was so real, so he went along with that.

''_He's wrong! You're the weak one! Not me. If you weren't weak, you never had let me in! He's trying to manipulate you!'' _The voice spoke and Ziva twitched. Tony felt it.

''Don't listen to it Ziva. I'm not the one hurting you'' He hold her tighter and closer to him. ''_No he is! If you keep listening to him, I only have to punish you more!'' _The voice tried.

''Please help me Tony!'' Ziva cried out.

''I am going to help you Ziva. To tell you the truth, I'm a little scared of it too. But I'm not scared of you and I'm going to do everything I can to get rid of him or it or whatever it is'' He pulled away from her and looked her in the eyes. ''Trust me''

She nodded and looked down a little. ''Somehow, you're stronger than it. When you're here, or I'm here.. I am able to ignore it a little better. But sometimes he's just to strong''

''Then I guess, I have to put my boxing gloves on then'' Tony joked and Ziva showed a slight smile. ''There you go. I missed that smile!'' He said with one finger pulling up her chin to see it better.

A comfortable silence fell over them, as they continued looking at each other. For just that moment Ziva didn't hear the voice speaking. Oh God! That felt nice for her. But then the phone rang. Tony had a hard time pulling his eyes from her, so he managed getting the cellphone of the coffee table without looking away from her.

''Hello?'' He answered because he didn't had a look at the caller ID.

''_DiNozzo, It's me'' _The low voice of his boss went through the horn. '_'How's she doing?_'' he asked.

Tony his hand over the horn. ''It's Gibbs. He wants to know how you are doing'' She nodded. ''Boss? Why don't you ask her yourself?'' He replied to his boss and then handed her the phone.

''_Ziva?_'' Gibbs said.

Ziva felt silent. ''_Don't you do it! Do not answer it David!'' _The voice said. She looked at Tony.

''Say something. He's worried'' He whispered.

''_Ziva, are you there?_'' Gibbs asked as he didn't hear something.

''Ye.. Yeah. I'm here'' She said softly.

''_Hey girl. How you doing?_'' Gibbs father senses took over.

''I'm fine'' She answered still her voice cracked a bit.

''_Is DiNozzo taking good care of you? Or do I need to go over there and head slap him?_'' Gibbs asked.

''He's doing a better job then you could imagine'' Ziva reassured him, making a small smile to Tony.

'_'Good! If it changes, don't hesitate to call me, okay?_''

''I will, Jethro''

'_'Okay, Enjoy your week off. Bye Ziver_'' Gibbs said.

''Bye Gibbs'' And he hung up. A little confused by his words. She looked at Tony. ''A week?'' She asked him.

''Yeah well. Gibbs orders'' Tony shrugged.

''So what do we do in that week?'' Ziva asked.

''I don't know. Help you. get rid of the voice. But most of all enjoy ourselves. I think we deserved a vacation, after all that happened'' A smile spread across Tony's face.

''Isn't that making advantage of the situation?''

''I do what I need to do, to help you'' He reassured her

''Okay. I trust you'' She told him.

''Do you want something to drink?'' Tony asked her and she nodded. He stood up, took the two empty plates and walked over to the kitchen.

''Tony?'' Ziva asked him to stop. He turned.

''Yeah?''

''Thank you''

Tony smiled. ''You're welcome''

* * *

_**So there it is to it! :D Tony's presence makes the voice in her head go away a little :D so let me know what you think, i want to hear your opinions! i know have to pay more attention to the grammar, it's an issue i'm working on ! haha**_

_**but please review :D i love them !**_

_**Leonie**_


	5. Opposite Sounds

_**really really really thank you for all the reviews and followers and such! i love you! 3 **_

_**so here it is chapter 5 whoopwhoop! ^_^ **_

* * *

**Tony's apartment, 8:30 pm**

Ziva was focusing on the TV. Tony had tried to have conversation with her, but at some point or the other they all went dead.

''_Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock!'' _The voice in her head went on. ''_So he has nothing that burns aye? Well the cooker itself is pretty hot, even is boiling water.. No that's too obvious. He's not letting you leave. Gotta find something else that hurts then'' _Ziva tensed up.

''You okay Ziva?'' Tony asked as he noticed.

Ziva shook her head, trying to get rid of the rid of the voice. ''Yes everything is alright'' She replied ''_Lair! Your lying to him again. That's a start_'' The voice said.

Tony looked at her for a moment. He couldn't find a lying tone and after everything they talked about, she wouldn't be lying know would she? Either way he decided that he couldn't let his guard down. He knew that this was only the beginning. He wasn't sure how bad the voice was in her head.

''I texted Abby. she brings clothes in the morning, because you can't use my whole wardrobe'' Tony chuckled.

''I can't? I think they are pretty comfortable'' She said raising her eye brows and looking at his university shirt. She had surprised herself at first. she was so comfortable walking around in just a t-shirt and panties, in his apartment.

''They are. I agree with you on that. But otherwise I wouldn't have shirts myself anymore. And if I'm having the week off, I'm not walking around in my suit, all day''

''You aren't? that's a disappointment'' She teased. Tony raised his eyebrows. ''What? I just think you uh.. look very handsome in your suits'' Wait? Did she really just say that? ''_Ziva? You're losing it again! Get a grip!'' _the voice yelled.

''Uhm.. Thank you?'' Tony didn't know what to say. It wasn't often.. well she never had complimented him on his suits before. He could see the awkwardness in her eyes. and soon changed the subject. ''Uhm… You can have my bed for tonight. I'll take the couch''

''_I would say just go home to your own bed, but that obvious isn't going to happen'' _The voice said. Ziva was sure that if she could see it/him… whatever, she would see it rolling his eyes. She twitched and cracked her neck a little. Tony frowned at the side. ''What about your back?'' Ziva finally asked. ''_What do you care?'' _The voice asked.

''Don't worry about that. We are focusing on you now first'' He told her.

''Then I guess I will going to bed now'' Ziva said and she stood up. Tony looked at her. a little confused. ''I had a long day, Tony. I'm tired'' She added.

''Oh okay'' He replied simply and also stood up.

''I can get under the covers myself'' She said.

''Believe me. I know'' He chuckled. ''I just want to grab some blankets from my closet, so that I don't have to wake you when I want to sleep'' He explained. Ziva nodded and they both went into bedroom.

As Tony grabbed some blankets from his closet, Ziva like she said, got under the blankets of Tony's bed.

After five minutes, Tony turned to find her curled up in it. Her eyes already closed. He wasn't sure if she was still awake. Maybe she really was tired. He didn't know. But he knew she had a big day and wouldn't be surprised if she was.

''Good night, Ninja'' He whispered, but he didn't get a response. He switched the light and the room went dark. Then he closed the door and went over to the couch. So what should he do now? He threw the blankets on the couch and plopped down next to it.

**….**

As the door closed Ziva opened her eyes. She smiled a little but it soon faded of her face. ''_UHG.. Ninja.. what a terrible name for you. you're no ninja. If you were. You would've hide your problems better.'' _The voice spoke. ''He isn't so bad'' Ziva defended him. ''_OMG! Don't you even think about it! it's all his plan'' _The voice argued. ''I don't believe you!'' Ziva thought to herself.

She put her face into the pillow and screamed, all of her frustration into the pillow and once she moved a little, she felt the wet spots on the pillow of crying. Then she relaxed. His scent, his sweet scent. She took it in. Ziva had forgotten how great he smelled. Not that she ever would admit that to anyone. Not even completely to herself.

''_Where would he hide knives?'' _The voice went on. ''No! I'm not going to cut myself!'' Ziva thought and tensed up again. ''_I don't think you have a say in what you do and what you don't! You're are not strong enough to decide that_'' ''But I do! I am supposed to be the one who decides things for my own! Not someone who doesn't even exists'' ''_Than why does Tony decide that you sleep here?'' _''He wants to help me!''

Out of frustration, she cried again. Silently. Tony must not know everything. And then she fell asleep.

**…..**

**The next morning, 7:00 am**

Tony turned on the couch. He squealed, as he back cracked seriously. He laid on his back, put his hand under his head and stared at the ceiling. What was he going to do today? He didn't know. After a few moments, he stood up and made his way to the kitchen. He knew that Ziva could wake up any moment and that Abby would bouncing in at the same moment.

He began to bake some pancakes and waited to see who was the first one to come into the living room. He didn't take long, before he heard his bedroom door open en close again. He smiled.

''Good morning, Ziva!'' He said, when he heard the footsteps coming closer. Ziva didn't respond. She sat down on the dining table in the kitchen and put her head in her hands. ''Had a good night?'' He asked.

''No'' She simply stated. Tony looked at her. and then he saw something. He narrowed his eyes to see it better. He turned off the cooker and made his way towards the table with the plates and set one before her. She looked at it. ''Thank you'' She said and he kept looking at her. ''What?'' she finally asked when he was settled down next to her.

''How did you get that cut?'' He asked, rather demanding an answer and he pointed to her hand.

Ziva looked at it, with a confused look. It was a big cut from between two fingers then went on until over her wrist, it wasn't deep, but it had been bleeding. ''I.. I don't know'' She answered.

Tony raised his eyebrows. ''You don't know? If I had a cut like that. I would remember when I got it''

''I'm telling you the truth! I don't know!'' She raised her voice. ''_I do!'' _The voice spoke. Tony could see the confusion and frustration in her eyes.

''Okay.. okay I believe you'' He said in a calming sound.

They began to eat their pancakes and a silence fell over them. Ziva thought the pancakes were delicious. She had never thought, Tony would know the way in the kitchen. She was surprised. Pleasantly. Then a knock on the door went thought the apartment.

''That has to be Abby'' Tony said and he walked to the door.

''Tony!'' Abby said and pulled him into a tight hug once he had opened it.

Tony squealed ''Abby.. can't.. breath..'' He breathed out.

''Ooh sorry'' She pulled away. ''How is she?'' Abby asked. She still didn't know much, only that Ziva wasn't feeling well and that she and Tony had the week off, on Gibbs orders. So she concluded that it has to be big.

''Worse than you can think off, Abbs. Don't take it personally if she doesn't say anything to you'' He explained and Abby understood and nodded.

Ziva could hear Tony squeal, she knew than that Abby hugged him.. a little too tight. She heard footsteps coming her way and the voices of Tony and Abby becoming loader and finally they came in.

''Ziva? Abby's here with your stuff. I told you yesterday about it, remember?'' Tony explained to her. Ziva nodded. Abby walked towards her, with a bag.

''Hey Ziva'' Abby said, not even considering hugging her. ''I have some clothes for you. I got them from your closet''

Ziva looked into the bag and saw some clothes she liked very much. Abby was such a great friend. Ziva smiled lightly at Abby, but then saw that Abby was looking at her in worry.

Abby had noticed the bandages on her arm. She had to resist the urge to asked what happened, but when she saw that Ziva wanted to cover it up, she knew it wasn't a good time for that. She turned to Tony, who made signs to promise her to tell her else where.

''I have to go. Gibbs is going to kill me, when I'm late'' Abby said. Tony chuckled.

''I seriously doubt that Abby'' he laughed.

''You're right. I'm too much of the daughter for him'' Abby said. ''Anyway. Bye Ziva!'' She said and Tony led her back to the door.

''What happened?'' Abby asked, her voice full of worry, when they reached the door.

''It's hard to say. Even for me'' He said and waited for a second. ''She did it herself. She burns herself. She hurting herself Abby'' He explained.

''What?'' Abby's eyes widened. ''Why?''

''It's a long story Abby. but I'm helping her. She's going to be alright'' He reassured her.

''Okay'' Abby believed him. ''Well. bye'' She said and took off down the hallway.

Tony closed the door. And leaned with his back against it for a moment. Then his moment of silence was interrupted when he heard a glass shattering sound, coming from the kitchen. He ran over to it and was surprised to see Ziva standing there surrounded by glass and a new cut in her other hand.

''What happened?'' He said walked to her. He avoided the glass lying on the ground and grabbed her hand to check out the cut.

''I.. don't know. One thing I was finishing my pancake.. and the next thing I stood here and a plate was shattering on the ground'' She said confused. ''_Lair!'' _The voice said. Ziva twitched.

''Are you sure about that?'' Tony asked.

''Yes, Tony. I'm really sure'' Ziva reassured him. ''_Lair! Lair!'' _

''Okay. Let's clean the cut than and then clean up the mess'' He said and went into one of the cabinets to get the first aid kit.

**…..**

**Same location, 9:30 am**

Tony cleaned the cut and then he and Ziva cleaned of the mess in the kitchen. They went over to the living room. For a few minutes they said there in silence, when Ziva broke the silence with a unexpected question.

''Do you play?'' She said pointing to the piano. Tony looked over to the piano and then back to Ziva with surprise in his eyes.

''Uhm.. I know how to play, yes'' He said quieter than Ziva had expected.

'' I didn't know that'' she stated.

''There're a lot of things you don't know about me, David'' Tony said suddenly softer looking at her.

''_So green. So beautiful_'' She thought. She stood up and went over to the piano, standing next to it she turned. ''Prove it'' She challenged.

''I don't play anymore'' He stated.

''Why not?'' Ziva gave him a disappointed look.

''Just because'' He argued.

''Come on. Show me. do it for me?'' She played a little girl, using puppy dog eyes.

Tony rolled his eyes. ''Alright. Because it pleases you than''

He walked over to the piano and sat on the stool. He opened it and showed the keys. Ziva patiently waited for him to begin, which took a minute. He let out an focusing and relaxing sight and then after that moment, Tony began to play a music piece she knew very well herself. *River flows in you*

The way Tony played, was much better than Ziva had ever expected. To the sound of it, it looked like he played since he was little. He went so naturally over the keys with his hands, and he didn't make one mistake. It was really breathtaking. She could see that all face expressions disappeared from his face, only leaving peace.

After Tony was finished, he opened his eyes again. He looked up to Ziva who's jaw had dropped a little.

''You liked it?'' Tony asked, unsure of what to say.

''Liked it? Tony you play brilliantly!'' Ziva stated. '' How come you never told me about it?''

''I don't know. You never came here. and it's not like we have a piano in work''

''I wish I could play like that'' Ziva told him

''You ever played the piano?'' Tony asked.

''We had a piano yes. But the only one who played was.. Ari'' Ziva said hesitating at the last part.

Tony chuckled. ''Ari played the piano? Boy didn't see that coming''

''Hey he was really good at it!'' She said. ''He had promised me, to learn me. but that my dad sent him away. And it never had a change''

''You still want to learn?'' Tony asked hesitantly.

''I would love to, but—''

''Then come here'' He said and he slid backwards, making a spot to sit between his legs. She slowly made her way to him and sat down. ''I'm going to learn you this song first. put your fingers here, here and here'' He pointed out. And she did.

''I don't know what to do next, Tony'' She said. Without saying anything he put his hands and fingers over hers, careful not to hurt her cuts. He rested his head on her shoulder.

''Just follow my lead'' He said and began to press her fingers and she pressed the keys. A flowed sound of the first few tones of the song came out of the piano. ''See? Okay again''

He did it again, and again, and again. Until he let go of her hands and she did it herself. A smile spread across her face, as she managed to do it without a mistake. ''I did it!'' She said happily. He loved that sound, it was a long time since he had seen her happy.

''You did'' He concluded. Ziva turned her face and met his green eyes with her dark brown eyes. And a moment of comfortable silence fell over them as Tony, who was still sitting behind her, had rested his hand on her thighs and they kept staring at each other.

* * *

_**OMG :D got to love TIVA.. but still the voice is making new way to hurt her. or is it really just Ziva who's hurting her. She's in worse state than Tony knows about. :O**_

_**Anyways... tell me what you think about it and review. and if you not following this story, please do if you want to know what happens next ! Please review i love them! you are so kind to me 3 **_

_**Love ya! Leonie**_


	6. Against The Worst

_**OMG! i'm so sorry for the day delay! :O we had some unexpected guests staying over for the day and night and because it was HOT like hell, we went swimming and such.. plus that they kept me busy all evening aswell. I hate that, but love my (no blood family) my little sisters 3 so i have a fun day.**_

_**Back to the FanFic. First of all i want to thank all of you for the most AWESOME reviews :D i love you guys! :D **__**Second Here's Chapter 6 lads and Gentlemen ^^ I hope you like it and please review what you think of it, should happen or you want to happen or just idea's for this story :D**_

_**Enjoy your reading**_

* * *

**Same location, 10:00 am**

Tony looked in Ziva's eyes. For a first time, in a really long time, he saw her smile, and he loved it! The silence was comfortable and Ziva was taking the moment in, but then.. ''_Ziva David! Get your ass away from there!_'' The voice yelled. Tony saw her smile fade and Ziva twitched. She stood up and walked a little, leaving Tony with confusion.

She turned to face him. Tony could see the fight in her eyes. ''_Don't do it!'' _The voice said ''I need to go pee'' Ziva told him and turned to walk again. At that moment, a great, gentle hand grabbed her wrist.

''It's telling you to walk away, isn't it?'' He asked as she faced him once again. ''_Keep your mouth shut!'' _It said. Ziva only nodded, clearly wanted Tony to know. ''Ziva, don't listen to it. Who do you trust? me or him.. it?''

''It's not that I don't trust you. I do trust you. Sometimes he or it comes into my head at the silent moments. The moments I sometimes adore the most..'' She wanted to say something else but it didn't came out. ''But because it is silent, I just obey without thinking.

''_Or without knowing about it.._'' Tony thought. He made a mental note to himself not to forget that. ''So you want me to talk to you.. all of the time?'' He chuckled, trying to lite up the mood in the room.

''Or just distract me in a way''

''I thought I was doing a good job. Distracting you from playing piano'' He said his voice much softer and he took a step towards her.

A silence again. Ziva smiled up to him. ''_How does he do that?'' _She thought. ''_Uhg! How can you be so stupid? You really don't know why you're smiling to him? Let me just say that you're going to get punished because of it!'' _The voice spoke. Ziva's smile faded.

''Again?'' Tony said. Ziva nodded. ''I have to get away for a while though''

''Why?'' Ziva asked.

''Because I want to make you a dinner and I can't with just bread and peanut butter'' He stated.

''Sounds like a meal to me'' She raised her eyebrows. ''_Let him go. Makes us having so time to find things_'' The voice said.

''I mean a real dinner. No fast food, no ordering or take out. And if I go now I can get everything for the week'' He explained. ''You can come along if you want''

''No. I do not want to face the rest of world right now'' She rejected. ''_Good. Now let him go'' _The voice said.

''Come on. It will be good for you'' He pleaded, with a light smile. He saw that she was hesitated and he knew what to do. ''please?'' He now begged, trying to hide the smile behind his hands.

''_Ziva!?''_ the voice warned. Ziva ignored it and chuckled at the sight.. ''Okay fine'' She rolled her eyes.

A smile was crossed over Tony's face as he lowered, his no longer intertwined hands. ''Okay!'' he said in triumph.

''But I have to shower first'' She said and Tony raised his eyebrows and had a smirk on his face. ''Uhg! Get out of your dreams DiNozzo. Never going to happen'' She pointed a finger at him and walked away.

Tony still had that smirk on his face. As she walked away he turned and realized something. ''_What the hell am I doing?'' _He thought to himself as he felt something in his stomach.

As she was in the bathroom, Ziva locked the door and took, this time carefully, the bandages off of her arms and stomach. She looked at herself in the mirror. The older marks had turned into scars, but that still hurt. She stroked over her scars and marks.

''_They will never go away Ziva'' _The voice told her. ''_You will always have them. They suit you though.._'' ''That's not true! They don't suit me!'' Zia screamed in her thoughts. ''_Maybe you're right. Maybe we should try something else that hurts_'' The voice said. ''No!'' Ziva had the tears streaming down her face at this point. She wanted to hit the mirror, but then came to her senses and stopped just before she did.

She walked away from it and turned on the shower. She undressed herself more and stepped into the shower cell. The water that she had left tepid, was streaming down her body. A little relaxation came over her. The cool water, was a great feeling over her scars and marks. ''_You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?'' _the voice went on.

''Can't you just shut the hell up for a moment!'' Ziva yelled out loud, sinking onto the bottom of the cell.

''Zeev? You okay in there?'' Ziva heard after a knock on the door.

''Yes.. yes I'm okay. Don't worry'' Ziva reassured him. She just knew he was hesitating on the other side of the door. ''Tony, I'm telling the truth'' She added.

''Okay! Just let me know if that changes'' He told her and walked away.

After 5 minutes Ziva turned off the shower again. She rubbed the water drops off her face and wringed out her hair. When she stepped out of the cell she looked around.

''Ah shit!'' She thought. ''Tony!'' She shouted. It didn't even took 3 seconds before she heard Tony at the door.

''What is it?'' Tony asked, voice filled with worry. Ziva stood there, rolling her eyes at that, but she kinda liked it and therefor she gave away a smile, that he would not see anyway.

''Relax Tony. You.. uh.. I don't have a towel..'' She said, slightly embarrassed.

Tony was silent for a moment. ''…oh.. I forgot about that. Wait a second'' He said and she heard him walk away. She stood there, naked, body, her arms crossed. Chattering her teeth. Then returned. ''Zeev. Open the door. I have a towel'' He said.

She walked over to the door and unlocked the door. It opened and Tony's arm with two towels came in. she grabbed it. ''Thanks!'' She told him and grabbed the towels as fast as she could. Then it closed again.

…**..**

**30 minutes later**

Tony was waiting.. no he was bored, on the couch. Even thought Ziva was a woman, he hadn't thought that she would take this long to get dressed.

''Ziva! What's taking so long? If you're not finished soon, the stores will be closed!'' He called throwing a little ball in the air to entertain himself.

''It's still morning Tony. the store won't close until 7 pm or even midnight'' Ziva replied. Then she came out. She had a long sleeve shirt on, just like she did always had since she came back from, Somalia. Tony knew why.

''You want me to put new bandages on it?'' He asked

She thought for a moment. ''No. they don't hurt that much anymore'' She told him.

He noddd in agreement. ''Ready to go? He then asked and she nodded. ''Okay then'' He got up and walked over to the door with her. ''Don't worry. I'm going to talk your ears off'' He said and he opened the door for her.

**...**

**Center DC, Mall, 11:30 am**

Tony pulled the car onto the parking lot. There was something big going on, because it was a lot busier than usual.

''I did not know there were going to be so many people'' Ziva said looking around, after she stepped out of the car.

''I didn't know either'' He said doing the same as Ziva. ''We're only getting some groceries. It will not take long '' He said and they both walked in.

As they walked into the mall Tony grabbed a kart and they went straight to the grocery store.

''What is it what we need? I mean what are we going to make?'' Ziva asked once they were in. Tony handed her a note with all kind of ingredients.

''We're eating lasagna tonight'' He stated happily. Ziva looked up from the note and looked at him, while they kept walking. ''What?''

''Didn't know you knew how to make it''

''I'm Italian and you think I don't know how to make lasagna?'' He said playing to be offended.

''To be honest, I didn't think you could cook at all'' She teased, but speaking the truth.

''I told you, there's a lot you don't know about me'' He said while grabbing some ingredients from the shelves.

''I want to know what else than'' She told him with a smile. And he only smiled back to her.

They continued grabbing the stuff they need, plus some stuff they wasn't on the list, but they took it anyway. As they walked passed a shelve with all sort of thing, including box cutters. Ziva tensed up, but Tony didn't seem to notice. He was focusing on the note. And then the voice began to speake.

''_Those look sharp.. I wonder how much they hurt_''It said. Without replying, not even in her mind, Ziva grabbed a box cutter and pealed off the security sticker. ''_Good girl!_''

After they were done. They walked back to the car. While walking, they walked passed so much little stands and there was some sort of festival going on. All the people were making promoting their own sales where and were yelling to be louder then the other. Also there were some kind of game stands and lots of other stands.

As they walked passed them, Ziva could hear music playing. She stopped and listened. It was a mix of Jazz and classic music.

''You like that?'' Tony asked seeing her face. She nodded. He walked towards it and pulled out his wallet. Ziva only watched it and saw that he traded a 10 dollar bill for a CD and then walked back to her. ''Here'' He said handing the DC to her.

''You didn't have to do that Tony'' She said but took the CD.

''I do. You obvious like it and you deserve it'' He stated. Ziva was a little taken away.

''_I deserve it? But-_'' She thought. ''_No you don't deserve it! When are you going to learn that he's lying!_'' The voice said. Ziva twitched, but she didn't let it be noticed by Tony. ''Thank you'' She only said.

''You're welcome'' He said. He was thinking to himself. Music was what she really liked. And so he had an idea what to do tomorrow. He smiled to himself, this could his best idea ever.

…**...**

**Tony's apartment, 1:00 pm**

Tony turned the key and opened the door. He let Ziva go in first as she was holding some bags with groceries. After they were in, he closed the door and he went to the kitchen and put away the stuff. While Ziva remained in the living room. While putting it away, he found the box cutter at the bottom of one of bags. Tony couldn't remember taking it and took out the bill. He read the list of stuff, but there was no such thing as a box cutter on it. He looked back to her. She was just sitting on the couch going through the channels on TV. When he was done with putting stuff away. He walked back into the living room and sat down next to her.

''You heard the voice in the store today?'' He asked his voice stern. She remained silent. Giving him one look and then back to the TV. He grabbed the remote and put it off.

''Why do you ask?''

''Because of this'' He threw the cutter on the coffee table. Ziva stared at it.

''Where did that come from?'' She asked. ''_Like you don't know_'' The voice in her head said. Ziva was confused. She really didn't know where it came from.

''I found it, in one of the bags. And I'm pretty sure I didn't took it, because it doesn't return on the bill'' He explained. ''Why did you took it Ziva?''

''I didn't!'' She snapped turning her head to him. He didn't reply and waited for her to confess or at least say something more. ''I don't remember taking it'' She said softly yet frustrated.

''You know what I think?'' He then asked.

''What?''

''I think I need to keep a better eye on you'' He said seriously.

''You mean, without that your eyes wonder off into my shirt?'' She said with a smirk.

''I never-'' He wanted to argue, but then remembered his conversation with Gibbs. He sighed. ''Yes without that. But seriously Ziva, I think you sometimes have blackouts, and that's when the voice let you do stuff. Like coldly burning youself or letting a plate fall and use one of the pieces go against your skin'' He explained seriously again.

He could see the fear in her eyes and her chin tremble. Then she spoke. ''I sometimes just woke up with new burns. And I don't remember making them'' She said while her voice cracked and tears welling up in her eyes. ''It's scaring me. I don't want to do it''

Tony pulled her into a protective hug and laid his head down on top of hers. ''I know. It's scaring me too. But I'm getting you through this Ziva. I'm not letting him or it get to you anymore'' He stroked his hand hand over her back to reassure her.

* * *

_**So Tony has and plan.. What could it be? And Ziva does things too without knowing about it in her sleep or like just in the store. That's really scary :O i can't imagine what she's going throught. or actually i can a little.. **_

_**Anyways.. please review i love them. Tell me what you thought about this chapter and what you would like to see or any other idea's you want to share with me! **_

_**xx Leonie**_


	7. Dinner And A Nightmare

**_So here it is :D Chapterrrrrrrrr... 7! :D hihi yay for me! thanks for all the lovely reviews and i really love them and glad you like this story and my writing, it's giving me a boost ^_^_**

**_Enjoy your reading! :)_**

* * *

**Tony's apartment, 6:30 pm**

Both Tony and Ziva were walking into the kitchen. It was time to make dinner.

''So what do we do first?'' Ziva asked waiting for

''Wait.. You are stunned when I know how to make lasagna, while you don't even know it yourself?'' Tony asked eyes wide.

''Hey I grew up in Israel. We don't have Italian food there. Or we do, but my father doesn't like it'' She explained.

''You missed out a lot. You should had come over, much sooner than this week'' He said tapping a spoon, he just grabbed, on her nose.

She hit it away. ''I would've if you had invited me over sooner'' She said and he gave her a playful smile.

''We make the sauce first'' He returned more serious. ''We chop up the sausage and crumble it into small little bitty pieces'' He explained while doing it. Ziva watched his every move. ''Then we put on the the cooker and place a saucepan on it. Put some oil in and and then slowly put the meat in it''

He began to explain. While doing all this Ziva asked many questions. She enjoyed this. It was actually fun and it began to smell great in the kitchen.

''Ever thought about being a teacher?'' She laughed.

''I did, because there would be really hot girls in the class'' He replied. He was now chopping up garlic and other vegetables. miled. ''_Typical Tony_'' She thought.

''But then I remembered I would black out if I had to speak in front of a class. So I stopped thinking about it'' He joked.

Ziva's head shot up and she grinned. ''How come I know so little about you?''

''Because you were never this interested in me like this before'' He simply said. He pored the vegetables into the pan with meat and lowered the warmth of the cooker.

Ziva hid her blush. ''_What is wrong with me? He's interesting, is that a bad thing?_'' She thought to herself. The voice came out. ''_No that's not bad.. that's Disgusting! What is so interesting about a_ _man that only lies to you_?'' It said.

'Will you check if the oven is ready?'' Tony asked, snapping Ziva out of her thought.

She nodded and walked over to it. She felt the heat of the oven on her burn scars. ''_Hey that helps_'' The voice spoke. Ziva stood in front of the oven and slowly pulled her sleeve up. She put her arm closer to the over glass and she felt the heat of the oven, burn on her scars.

Tony looked over to her when it took a moment to long for her to respond. ''Ziva! What are you doing!?'' He yelled and he pulled her away from the oven. He looked into her eyes. For a moment they were lifeless, staring into nothing. It was like she wasn't there.

Then they returned, the eyes Tony was used too. Well until they formed a worried impression. She now felt the pain. ''What did I do?'' She said, her voice cracked.

''You were burning your arm with the oven''

''Oh god... I'm so sorry Tony!'' She said. She wrapped her arms around his waist, trying to get comfort.

Tony was a little taken by her action, she didn't do that before. But he immediately wrapped his arms around her too. ''It's okay. I shouldn't have asked you. I didn't think'' He felt stupid.

''It's not your fault Tony. You aren't used to think so much'' She pulled away from him and smiled.

''Yeah. That much thinking is giving me a headache'' Tony said pouting.

''Aw! are you now a forlorn guy?'' Ziva teased him, patting his cheek.

A silence fell over them, as Ziva's hand remained on the side of Tony's face. Tony had to resist the urge, not to look at her lips, but those beautiful brown eyes, made it a little better. Ziva's heart was racing and she didn't know what to do. But she knew for sure didn't want to move.

At that moment the timer went off. 5 seconds past by, before Tony cleared his throat. ''I uh.. have to get the meat off of the cooker, before it overcooks'' He said, his voice still soft. Not wanting to look away.

Ziva pulled her hand away and smiled. He walked over to the cooker and turned the sauce stove off and lowered the stove of the boiling water. Ziva watched him work and walked over to him. She stood behind him while he put the pasta layers into the boiling water and set the timer again. He turned, and was startled as he almost bumped into her, but didn't show it.

''Smells good Tony'' Ziva said to him.

''It tastes even better'' He stated. ''Is your arm still hurting?''

''No it's fine. It was not that bad'' She said to him. ''_It could've been worse if you weren't here_'' She thought to herself.

''You sure?'' He asked, waiting for a reassurance.

''Yes, I am sure. Now pay attention to the pasta, other wise it would be overcooked'' She said making gestures with her finger, to turn around again.

After 10 minutes, he put the pasta and sauce in layers in a bowl and he finished it with some mozzarella and normal cheese on top of it. He put it in the oven as Ziva sat down at the dining table. Tony walked to her and sat down on the the next side of the table.

''So? Do you think, you will like it so far?'' He asked.

''Sure I will. It just amazes me that there is so little I know about you'' She replied to it.

''Well. Its probably because I don't act, that interesting at work'' He explained.

''Why don't you? You're really different now, that at NCIS''

''In a good way or a bad way?'' He asked raising his eyebrows.

''Good way''

''Oh. So you don't like me at work?'' He pretended to be offended.

''I do'' She defended. ''_Trust me. I do_'' She thought. ''But underneath all that, you're still a closed magazine'' she explained. ''But i thought i had read it all''

''Book.. Ziva. Closed book'' He corrected her and laughed.

''Same difference'' She rolled her eyes. ''Uhg you get what I mean. But to use your hypothetical American words.. I like interesting _books_'' She said giving him a playful smile. As the timer went off once again they both went into the kitchen to check up on the bowl with lasagna. Only to see it was ready.

….

**9:00pm**

''Omg Tony!'' Ziva said leaning back into her chair. She had just swallowed her last bite of lasagna. ''That was truly delicious. I have to come here more often'' She stated.

''We still have 5 nights before we have to go to work again, if everything turns out okay with you. So you probably have more dinners like this'' Tony explained. He now took his last bite.

''I still can't believe Gibbs gave us a week off''

''Ziva. I'm serious. We wouldn't have this week off, if there wasn't something wrong with you. We have to find a way to help you''

''You don't like having a week off with me?'' She raised her eyebrows.

Tony sighed. ''I do very much'' A quick smile crossed his face, as he realized what he just said and disappeared again. ''But I want that voice out of your head. I don't want to worry about you all the time. I just want the old Ziva back. The Ziva-'' Tony cut his words off.

''I do too Tony'' She sighed in agreement. ''But I don't know how. You being with me helps, but it comes back sometimes'' Ziva smiled at the thought, that ''being with'' Tony helped. Tony smiled also about that, but they didn't know it about each other. ''Maybe I should talk to someone'' Ziva then said.

''I thought you already did'' Tony asked confused. Ziva gave him a look. ''You lied, right'' He concluded himself.

''But I don't want to go alone. I do not trust people that easy'' She explained.

''You want me to go with you?'' He asked and she nodded. ''Then I go with you'' He stated.

''Thank you''

''But not tomorrow though'' He simply spoke.

Ziva looked at him. He had a playful look on his face. ''Why not?'' She asked confused and frowned.

''I'm going to take you somewhere else and don't ask questions it will ruin it'' He said.

Ziva gave him an puzzled look, but then she gave in. '' okay I trust you'' She only said. He nodded and got up without saying anything, only the smile remained on his face. She shook her head and smiled too, while Tony was getting the plates and went into the kitchen.

…**...**

**10:15 pm **

After they had done the dishes, Tony and Ziva both sat on the couch. Just watching TV. It didn't take long for Ziva to feel sleepy. Her head was resting on Tony's shoulder and her eyes were slowly closing, and within minutes, she was sleeping. Tony blew out a little air as he chuckled, but not want her to wake, just yet. He thought it was funny that she snored a little and that took him back to Paris.

He decided she would be more comfortable in bed so he slowly stood up, making sure she wouldn't wake and picked her up. One arm holding her legs underneath her knees and the other underneath her shoulders and holding her head. He had expected her to wake up from one touch but she didn't.

He carried her into the bedroom and laid her down, on his bed. She did not had her shoes on, but she had still her clothes on. He didn't bother to do something about that, as he looked at his co-worker, sound asleep. ''You're beautiful, Ziva. Don't let it tell you otherwise'' He whispered almost not audible.

Just when he wanted to switch off the light, Ziva began to turn and mumble in her sleep. He waited

''No.. I don't.. Please.. don't.. want to.. let go..'' She mumbled words, a terrified look appeared on her face. Tony watched to look what would happen, or if he could make sense out of her words.

Tony already walked slowly towards her. Thinking it maybe better if he woke her up. When: ''Please no.. No get away from me... help me.. Tony!'' She screamed the last word.. or name and shut up. At that precise moment, Tony could catch her arms.

''Ziva, Calm down! I'm here!'' He called out. He looked at her, as she breathed heavily and not moving one muscle. ''_Those eyes again.._'' Lifeless, staring right through him. Not at him.

As he sat down on the bed, he let loose of her wrists and without saying anything she wanted stand up walk away. Tony knew what she was going to do if he let her go away. And he wrapped his arms around her, before she had to change to do so. He pulled her close to him and just held her like that. She didn't move, she was only shivering. Trying to sooth her with rubbing her back and planting kisses in her hair, along with little soothing sounds.

It seemed like hours, that Tony said there. Then he felt it. His shirt had gone wet along with the little sobs he heard and the shaking body underneath his arms.

''It's okay Ziva. I'm here. Let it out'' He tried to calm her down.

''Don't go, Tony. Please do not leave me again'' Ziva said, her voice cracking at every word. Tony's heart skipped a beat when he heard the ''again'' in her sentence.

''No. I won't do that ever again'' He said and he pulled her even closer

''It's him, Tony. The voice I hear, I know who it is''

''Who?'' He encouraged her to say it.

''It's Saleem's'' She said and now the tears left her eyes, without fighting them.

''Okay. Okay. It's going to be alright Ziva. He's dead. Now we have to make sure he will be dead in your mind too'' He said.

''Stay here Tony. I can't sleep without you'' She said with out realizing it and she wrapped her arms around him, holding his shirt tightly at his back. Tony didn't no what to say and he only laid her down again. He shoved her over a little and also laid down. Still his arms around her. She only let out little sobs. And after a few minutes later she had calmed down, mostly.

''Not leaving you, Ziva'' He reassured her. He kissed her temple, and the first light, almost invisible smile. ''Sleep. I'm not going anywhere'' He told her and she closed her eyes.

He stayed awake, waiting untill 12:30 am and he was sure that she was awake and would not have a nightmare again. ''_I hope I will be able to take her out there tomorrow.._'' He thought. His sense was talking to him now. ''_You will. It's a great idea. Just don't do anything stupid''_ It told him. Somehow that sense sounded just like Gibbs. He then smiled and closed his eyes and he too, was now falling to sleep.

* * *

_**TIVA is boiling up! 3 yay for the TIVA fans! - tell me what you think about that! =3**_

_**Also..tell me what you think about the story in general or just this chapter. i just love reviews :D **_

_**i think the next chapter will be up monday.. or thuesday. i know.. it will be a long time.. for my usual.. than.. XD but i have two very busy days.. tomorrow and the day after that. still hope you will hang on to it! :D**_

_**xx Leonie**_


	8. Morning Thoughts

**_Heey there! :D sooooo sorry for the delay. We had no Wi-Fi for 2 days :o and i'm one of the people without 3G or a subscription for my phone! XD _**

**_So originally this was a much longer chapter, but because otherwise it would be super duper long i split it up into 2. i will the upload the next one within hours :D haha _**

**_Thanks for all the reviews and such! i really love them and i love you for like this story and giving me advise and such! thank you :)_**

**_Enjoy your reading!_**

* * *

**The next morning, Tony's bedroom, 4:30 am**

Ziva opened her eyes. She immediately felt the warmth of a second body lying next – wait lying with her. He had one arm around her, holding her close. Her head was resting on his chest and her arms pulled back lying between her chest and his side, while he laid on his back and the other arm underneath his head.

She looked at her alarm. Normally she would have gone out now, to walk to the bathroom to do her.. daily routine. But this last 3 night, she didn't. She smiled at the thought, Tony helped her already without even completely realizing it. He said he wants to help, but he already was. The words he sometimes spoke, without realizing or he didn't know she had heard, were helping her.

''_You Bitch!_''The voice spoke up. She tensed up for a big.. _preach_. At this, Tony began to wake up. ''_Lying in his arms, thinking about the good little things! Well guess what? It isn't good what you're thinking. Tony would never see you like that and you know it!. You are too messed up and damaged for him, to ever think a little big that about it_'' It said. ''No. Why wouldn't he like me?'' She whispered, she didn't want to wake Tony. Oh she had no idea. ''_He goes after easy girls, easy to handle and no problems, I think you know, that's not you_'' The voice explained. What he said made sense to her. He only had short relationships with girls.. that were almost near perfect. Look at how it worked out with him and Jeanne, or Wendy even. ''He will never like me that way..'' She whispered.

Tony who had heard (half of) the talk, was confused. ''_I Didn't know Ziva liked someone''_ He thought disappointed. ''_No. I would know about it'' _His heart raised as he had a thought in his head. That couldn't possible be true.. Or could it?

Ziva had felt the sudden heart raise of Tony. She was wondering what could it be, that had caused it. Maybe he was dreaming also. Yes that had to be it. Dreaming. She smiled and she took one hand and rubbed it over his chest and stomach. ''Hope it is a good dream Tony'' She whispered. He smiled lightly. ''_Trust me. I hope it isn't a dream_'' he thought to himself.

Soon after that. He felt her breathe even out and he knew she had driven off to sleep again, this time her arm remaining on his stomach. Tony on the other hand couldn't sleep. He was thinking all those hours of what to day would bring, and specially that place...

…**...**

**Same day, same location, 8:10 am**

Ziva awoke. She stirred in her sleep, attending to turn around, but she couldn't. Still the steady are of Tony was wrapped around her.

''Morning'' He said quite awake. He hadn't slept the whole time. He just felt her sleep and thought about how this day was doing to be.

Ziva mumbled a sort of morning too and settle back into his said. ''What time is it?'' She asked her voice still sleepy.

''Just pas eight o clock'' He stated.

''mm.. kay. What time to you want to go to wherever your want us to go?'' She asked, opening her eyes for the first time.

''After lunch I guess. It's always the best around that time'' He replied.

''Okay. Do I have to wear something special? Or are my normal clothes good enough'' She asked, now more interested

''I thinks it's better to wear your normal close. We don't want to mess up your special ones'' He teased, knowing she now really wanted to know, where they were going.

Ziva looked at him ''_What does he have planned_'' She thought. ''Can't you just tell me one thing?'' She asked.

Tony thought for a moment, what to respond. Then a bright smile spread crossed his face. ''We are going on a hike. And it's going to be _very c_rowded'' He said and the last part was sarcastic.

Ziva raised her eyebrows as she pulled away from his arm and looked at the expression on his face. ''So you are not telling me, where we are going?'' She concluded.

Tony laughed. ''Nope'' He said and shook his head. He was really enjoying this and she knew it. ''But first some breakfast'' He stated and stepped out of his bed.

''Okay. I'll changing.. since I fell asleep, last night. Why didn't you wake me'' She asked, just now realizing how and that she ended up in bed.

''Because you look cute when you sleep'' Tony said smiling a little and he walked into the kitchen, not waiting for a respond, he wasn't sure how she would take the complement.

Ziva was startled by the compliment and watched him walk away and closing the door behind him. For a moment she just stared at the door. But then the voice popped in her head. ''_He's messing with you Ziva. He doesn't mean it!_'' He said. ''_I know where he put the box cutter though. You do too. You saw him putting it away in a box with random in his closet_''

Ziva walked over to the closet and opened the door. On the bottom of it there laid a box. She picked it up and walked over to the bed. As she opened it. She found all sort of stuff. Old photo's, little old ID's of schools he went, some pencils. Stuff like that. But then she found the cutter.

''_Good. Now you know what to do_'' It said. Ziva without replying and completely again from the world, it looked like. She shove the handle up and the sharp knife of the cutter appeared . Only the point came out, but was enough as she used it to make a little cuts, just deep enough to hurt the most, but not deep enough to be worried about, betweenf her fingers.

Ziva flinched as she felt the pain. And let go of the of the cutter and let out fell on the ground. She only had eye for the four little cuts, she just had made between her three inner fingers. The pain was almost unbearable and blood began to drop out of it and down her hand and wrist. Then at that moment she knew and realized, what she had done and ran out of the to the kitchen.

Tony was unsuspectingly busy, making some toast with jam, when he heard the footsteps of his partner running through the living room and coming closer. Before he could say hello to her, she passed him and ran over to the rack with paper towels. She pulled several paper towels off the roll and tried with all her own, to stop the bleeding. Tony who saw the towels turning red, widened his eyes.

''What happened?!'' He asked, dropping the knife he smeared the bread with and ran over to her.

''It did it again!'' She exclaimed frustrated.

''Lets see it'' He ordered and Ziva revealed the cuts between her fingers, twitching as the paper towels stuck on her blood. Tony made a little disgusted face as he saw the four little, yet painful looking, wounds. ''I'll get it cleaned up'' He said leading her to the table and sat her down on one of the chair as he pulled a chair himself to sit next/ across from her. ''What happened?'' He asked again, now more seriously.

''You said.. what you said'' Ziva began, this made Tony look up to her for a second and then back to the cuts he was busy cleaning. ''And when you were gone. It appeared, just a second after that, I couldn't ignore or say anything to it. I just moved to the spot you hid the cutter...'' She explained.

''I'm going to make appointment for you for tomorrow, with Dr. Cranston'' Tony stated still in a serious voice.

Ziva pulled her hanging down head up and looked at him. ''How come I know that name''

''Kate, talked about having a sister, Rachel. Rachel Cranston. She just moved here and I found an ad in the newspaper about it''

''Don't you think it's a little weird going to her, when you knew her sister and she doesn't know you?'' Ziva was surprised by his explanation.

''I do. But she's the only one in the city for at the moment. And I know you didn't say everything to Ducky, about this and.. other things..'' He said, finishing bandaging Ziva's fingers. (that he head grabbed out of the First Aid Kit.. that appeared out of nowhere)

''Other things?'' She now was confused.

''Yeah.. you know.. about Somalia and stuff'' Tony looked at her for the first time they said down.

''As a matter of fact Tony.. I talked about what happened to me in Somalia, with Ducky'' Ziva said sternly now.

''Sorry, didn't want to upset you about it'' He apologized. ''But I've heard she's really good, just give her a change and after that one you can speak your opinion''

Ziva gave him a half smile. ''Rules Tony'' She remembered him and then let out a sigh. ''Okay. I'll go but only if you go with me''

''1) Good and I already said I would go with you. I promised. And 2) My house, my rules, miss David'' He smiled and put the stuff back into the kit.

''Thank you'' Ziva said. She looked at her hand and the fingers had nou bandages.

''You're welcome'' He replied. And he went back to cooking them breakfast.

…**...**

**12:30 pm**

''Ziva! Come on. Why is it you want to know so bad where we are going, and at the point we are leaving. You have to go to the bathroom'' Tony said, in a slightly whining tone.

''Because, believe it or not. But I'm still a woman Tony!'' She simply replied coming out of the bathroom. ''Will this be good,, for where ever we are going?'' She said replying about her clothes. They were just simple, blue jeans with a light red long sleeve shirt on it and a pair of white sneakers.

Tony rolled his eyes and grabbed two bags. ''You look fine. Perfect for where we are going'' He answered and walked out of the door.

Ziva followed him out. ''Thank you'' She said with a smile.

* * *

**_So that is part one! :O hope you liked it. Tell me what you think about it. What has to change (other than my grammar and such xD cause i already know that is bad sometimes) and what did you like. also what do you want to see in the next chapters? :D Tell and leave a review. Also if you didn't follow me yet, please do if you liked the story so far :D_**

**_Thank you! Leonie_**


	9. Afternoon Mistake

_**So here's the second part of the previous chapter. but i managed to make it two chapter :D Yay me! This chapter is still long, but because the last chapter was somewhat shorter is a compresize (Dont know how to spell it!) haha**_

_**Anyways Thanks for the new reviews and such! Get ready for this chapter :) **_

_**Enjoy your reading!**_

* * *

**1:15 pm**

Ziva and Tony, were now walking over a trail for half an hour already. Tony had parked his car just outside of the woods and had told Ziva they were almost there. He did that every time, he turned to follow an other trail. Ziva couldn't thing anything else then the fact he just wouldn't admit where it was, where he was going to take her. They walked a little upwards.

''Tony. I like walks, I did them every morning before going to work, but I was never lost once! It's hot, I sweating and you are never going to find it!'' Ziva whined.

''We're not lost! It has to be here near by'' He stated.

''You said that 20 minutes ago Tony.'' Ziva rolled her eyes but kept following him.

Eventually the trail stopped at a dead point. They ended up in front of a huge fence from about 2 meters high. It had a sign on it in every 10 meters apart. ''**Warning! This area is not for unauthorized persons. Please stay out or there will be following consequences!**'' It said.

''Great Tony! It's a dead end. Now we have to go back!'' Ziva was stamping her foot. ''_How can he be so stupid!'' _She thought. She looked over to Tony. He had the biggest grin on his face. ''What are you smiling at''

''We don't have to walk back'' He said, the joy obviously in his voice.

''What are you talking about?'' She sighed and walked to him.

''We are here!'' He said and threw one of the bags over the fence.

''Tony are you insane? We can't go in there'' Ziva hissed to him.

''Why not?'' He asked surprisingly.

''Did you not see that sign over there?'' She asked pointing to it.

''No I never have'' He read it now. ''ooooh.. but I never got caught before. So I don't see them catching me now'' He said and started climbing the fence.

''Tony!'' Ziva snapped, while he was jumping down and landed on the other side of the fence.

''Well? Are you coming or what?'' Tony waited, a playful smile crossed his face. ''You want to know, what I want to let you see, you can't go home now'' He laughed.

Ziva once again rolled her eyes. ''_I sometimes __**hate **__it when he's right_'' She thought. ''All right, all right. I'm coming'' She gave in and also climbed over the fence.

''I am going to kill you, if we get caught'' She snapped at him as she landed in front of his face.

''Don't worry. I still have your back'' Tony only smiled. ''Come. Follow me''

Without replying Ziva did what she was told, completely giving up, asking where they were going. But she did look around, noticing that they were walking out of the woods as it began to open up. As the trees faded more and more, they finally reached an open field. There were a few trees but mostly grass. Squirrels enjoyed the few trees and ground birds enjoyed the many grass and flowers. at the end of field, Ziva could see a lake reaching until she couldn't see any further.

''What is this place?'' She asked as she was absorbing her beautiful surroundings.

''This Miss David, is Déserté Parc'' He said, making a bad French accent.

''An extinct park?'' Ziva chuckled.

''Yup. They closed this park, like 25 years ago'' He explained. ''Before that. It didn't really have a name''

''How come you know about this place than?''

''As a teen I used to uh.. come here with friend and drink beer and stuff'' Tony replied.

''Stuff as in, things you weren't supposed to be doing as a teen'' Ziva concluded, a smirk on her face.

''Yeah kinda. You are not going to tell on me are you?'' He asked, playfully.

''No I would not do that, then I have to take responsibility for my own mistakes, as a teen'' Ziva said trying to get him wondering, what she had done as a teen.

It worked. ''You're getting me interested. Care to share it?''

''I do not know yet'' Ziva said and walked a little further into the field. He followed her. ''Why did you bring me here?'' She asked, her voice sounded quiet serious.

''It was after, I quit hanging out with my friends, I realized that this place is quite peaceful, and beautiful. And I thought that peace and beauty are things you need right now'' He explained seriously. ''Plus I just wanted you to have a fun day'' His voice remained serious ''And we're here today to have fun''

''How do you know what I need?'' Ziva asked, frowning her eyes at the tone in his voice.

''Everyone needs fun. And you hadn't fun in a long time, so I'm going to make it up to you. Sure 1 afternoon isn't gonna make it up. But it's a start''

''_Fun.._'' Ziva's (own) mind was racing. She didn't quite get the tone in his voice. ''So what do you suggest we do?'' She asked.

That is when a grin appeared on his face. He pointed at one of the bags he had settled down on the grass. She walked to it and look in it. She grabbed what was in there and pulled out a big squared blanket and laid it down.

''We are just going to sit here and have fun''

''You want _me_ to sit and relax? Well Tony I thought you knew better'' Ziva showed an fake disappointed look on her face.

''Oh I do. But you are going to do as i say. You do trust me don't you? Plus that give your the time to tell me what you did what daddy didn't approve, before you joined Mossad'' He sat down and pulled her also on the blanket. He reached out for the bag and pulled out two beers.

''Did you bring pizza too?'' Ziva chuckled as she saw it.

''Nope, but I did bring a bag of chips and some cookies'' Tony's grin returned as he pulled them out.

''You are crazy'' Ziva stated and laughed.

''It works doesn't it? You heard the voice yet?'' Tony asked already knowing the answer, as he could see when she did. She made a little move with her head to the right and it cracked every time, it appeared unexpectedly.

''No not since.. this'' She held up her hand.

''Good! that means, you didn't hear it for.. four and a half hours now! New record'' Tony said happily.

''I guess it is'' Ziva said with a half smile.

''So.. And now tell me about what Eli didn't approve off, when you were younger'' Tony said with a grin.

''You are not gonna let it go, are you?'' Ziva chuckled

''Hey. You learned that I play piano, that I cook and that I'm very good at it and that I did things here that were.. not so for the law...'' Tony counted with his fingers. ''So I think it's only fair to say one thing I didn't know''

Ziva thought for a moment. ''uhm.. Dad didn't approve anything at that time, because I was already in training with Mossad, so it was very easy to do something he didn't want me to do'' She stopped for a moment to look up to him. ''I used to swim. Very good even. I was the best on the team and I did competitions. But when I joined Mossad, it was finished. Luckily for me, I was very good in the Mossad training as well and I managed to still go swimming once a week''

''How? Didn't you have Mossad training everyday?'' Tony asked further.

''Well... Once a week, Ari had a ''friend'' over, which I'm very sure it was his girlfriend, she looked kinda like me and she wanted to go train. So she pretended to be me and Ari drove me over to school to go swimming'' Ziva smiled at the memory.

''You miss him?'' Tony asked as he saw it in her eyes.

''Yes I do. The Ari that killed Kate, wasn't my brother, Tony. Something happened and I do not know what'' She said serious. ''But I loved the old Ari and you know something else?''

''What?''

''A year before the incident, Ari could not stop talking about a girl he had met, from the things he told and the things you guys have told me, I'm pretty sure he was talking about Kate. He talked about you too'' She grinned.

''He did?'' Tony was surprised and choked on a sip of beer he just had. ''Don't tell me he had a crush on me as well''

''No!'' Ziva laughed. ''But he told me about a goofy guy, who was trying to be funny and was not so much, but who always protected 'the girl' ''

''And how do you know he was talking about me?''

''Because you still protect your partner. But at one thing he was wrong''

''Which is...?'' Tony wanted to know.

you are pretty funny at times'' Ziva simply explained and took a sip of her beer.

''Ziva David, did you just give me a complement?'' Tony showed a playful smile.

''Depends. What you're gonna do with it?'' Ziva asked him, joining the playfulness.

''Tell the rest of the world of course!'' Tony laughed. ''No I think I'm going to keep that for myself. It doesn't happen that often''

''Good'' She said and swept of the drops of sweat that were coming down her forehead. It was pretty warm outside and the long sleeve shirt didn't make it better.

''You can pull up the sleeves if you are hot. I have seen them already'' Tony suggested.

''It's not that Tony. The sun just hurts a little on them'' Ziva explained.

''Oh I have an idea that may help than'' Tony said and placed his beer down on the ground. Then he stood up.

''What are you doing?'' Ziva said as she saw him looking at him with a strange look in his eyes.

'' I'm going to cool you off!'' He said and grabbed her and took her over his shoulder. Ziva was taken by surprise and didn't have the change to counter him before she was picked up.

''Tony! What are you doing! Put me down!'' She called and hit his butt.

''How long has it been, since the last time you swam?'' Tony asked still running.

''About 2 years ago! Why?'' Ziva asked still struggling.

''Than it's about time we got here than!'' Tony laughed. Ziva turned to look around him and saw the lake coming closer.

''Tony DiNozzo! Don't you dare to jump into the water. I'm going to kill you!'' She yelled.

''That's a risk I'm willing to take'' He said and took a sprint.

''Tony!'' She yelled one last time. But it was too late. Tony took a jump and he and Ziva both landed in the water.

As they both came up. Tony shook off the water of his head and saw her come up.

''I am so going to kill you!'' She yelled, but the laugh she tried to hide, was to obvious.

''Not believing you! It's the third time you said that today and I'm still alive'' He said and she held both her hands on top of his head, pushing him under water again. After thirty seconds she released. And he came up, not even out of breath. ''Told you, you wouldn't'' He teased.

Ziva said nothing. She only smiled, turned on her back and began to backstroke away from him for a couple of meters, using her legs extra hard so that water splattered in his face. Tony watched how she swam. He had to admit she was really good. At the moment she stopped and made a somersault, he swam, in his less good swimmer way to her and was just inches from her as she came up.

As Ziva saw his face just inches from hers and she could feel his leg movements across from her in the water she wanted to asked what he wanted. However, the expression on his face was unreadable and at the moment she wanted to say something she felt his hands on her shoulders.

''Do you still believe anything the voice says to you?'' He asked suddenly.

Ziva frowned her eyes. She was surprised by his sudden question. ''I try not to'' She said softly.

''But you do?'' Tony concluded.

''Why are you asking me this? I thought we already talked about this?'' Ziva was confused.

''Yes! And I thought you trusted me saying, not to trust or believe what It says''

''You are not making any sense, Tony'' Ziva tried to swam away from him ''_What is wrong with him, all the sudden?_''

As she past him, Tony grabbed her leg and pulled her back to him.

''Tony, what are you doing?'' She asked as she face him once again.

''Convincing you that you should not trust it'' Tony stated. Than without time for her to respond, his hands fell on her sides, he leaned forward and his lips met hers, into the briefest kiss you could possibly imagine.

Ziva didn't move. Completely taken away by the move of Tony. As Tony pulled away after nearly 2 seconds, he watched her reaction. No emotion, no move, no respond at all, he wasn't even sure if she was even breathing.

''_What happened?_'' Ziva thought. Still completely stunned about it. ''_Did he.. just..?_'' Ziva had thought that the voice would pop up, like... right now. But it stayed away. And for this one time she hated that it didn't come. It scared her, that it didn't had any opinion to it. Maybe it was just as flabbergasted as she was.

''Ziva—'' Tony began to get her attention. But at that moment she swam to the edge of the field, still not said anything. Tony followed her as she was pulling herself up and walked to the the blanket. ''Ziva i'm sorry. I shouldn't have-''' Again he was cut off by her. This time by her words.

''I want to go home'' She stated, ignoring what he wanted to say.

''Alright. Here'' He walked over to the other bag and threw a towel to her.

''You knew you were going to threw me in the water?'' Ziva asked raising her eyebrows.

''Knowing myself.. yes'' He answered.

She again didn't respond. Tony rolled his eyes and began to dry himself off with another towel.

After they were somewhat dry, Tony and Ziva both wrapped up the scene with the blanket and headed towards the car. This time it took them only ten minutes to get to the car, as Tony and Ziva now knew the way. The drive back to Tony's place was nothing but silent and awkward.

**...**

**3:15 pm**

As they were home Tony put away the bags and Ziva said down on the couch. He went to the couch too and sat next to her. She still said nothing and Tony had enough of it.

''Ziva. Just say something. Anything!''

''You pretented to be asleep, and heard everything I said, didn't you?'' She accused him.

''I didn't pretend. You just never saw me staring at you, when you were talking to yourself.. or to It and-''

''You had your eyes closed! I know you pretended'' Ziva said.

''Okay, I didn't make clear I was awake'' He gave in.

''You pretended to be asleep!'' She stated.

''Okay, fine! I was pretending to be sleeping!'' He told her.

''Good! Now i'm going to lay down for a moment. I am tired and these clothes are not fully dry yet'' Ziva wanted to stand up but Tony held her wrist. She twitched and he loosened his grip as he knew why she did that.

''Wait'' He spoke.

''What?'' She snapped and turned back to face him.

''This angriness isn't about the fact I pretended to be asleep. You are avoiding something''

''I am not!'' She tried.

''Ziva I just kissed you, less than twenty minutes ago and you are not responding to it!'' Tony was frustrated and just wanted a straight answer. He wasn't sure about what he did and the response he got— or better said he didn't get, was frustrating him.

''What do you want me to say about it?'' Ziva snapped.

''Anything other then that you're mad about me pretending'' Tony said.

''I do not know what to say about it'' She said. ''_Why does the voice not speak now?_'' She thought.

''Say that you didn't like it, say that I made a mistake, that it was not me you were talking about'' Tony was only rejecting himself.

''I cannot say that'' Ziva said. Suddenly her voice was softly. She was confused that he rejecting himself.

''Why not!'' Tony snapped.

''Because, all the things you just said, Tony. Are the complete opposite!'' She yelled, and then realized what she had said and his eyes were wide.

* * *

_**Omg! Tony kissed her! that is soooo sweet =3 But why is Ziva acting the way she does? Do you know? then tell me what you think about it and review :D please review! i love reviews haha**_

_**Next update will be tomorrow :D around the same time ! **_

_**xx Leonie**_


	10. Relapse Into The Dark

_**OMG! this is sush a weird time for me to uploud! But.. I just wanted this chapter to be up, because you guys deserve it! :D Welcome to all the new followers and Thanks for the lovely reviews! i love all of you of course! :D **_

_**I have to say, that this Chapter is quite .. dark and dramatic, from Ziva's sight. but other wise it would be over to soon!**_

**_Anyhow. i won't hold you back any longer! Enjoy your reading!_**

* * *

**Tony's apartment, 3:45 pm**

''_Because, all the things you just said, are the complete opposite!_'' That sentence raced through his head. He stood there. Ziva on the other hand had raced to the bedroom again and once he got there, when he was recovered from what she had said, he found that she was already asleep.

It was still before dinner, but he knew, that the voice, even though she said it hadn't appeared for so long, after the incident, was taking a lot of energy of her. The words she had spoken were repeating in his head. He knew what she meant by it. ''_I did like it, It was no mistake, she does like me in an other way then just friends. But what was it then? What was it she is so afraid off?_''' He couldn't understand it.

He made two phone calls. The first one was to Rachel Cranston's office

''_Mrs. Cranston assistant speaking. How may I help you?_'' The woman asked with a cheery tone in her voice.

''Hello'' He answered. ''My name is Anthony DiNozzo Jr. and I would like to have an appointment for tomorrow, if that is possible''

''_Alright Mr. DiNozzo. Let me check the schedule of Mrs. Cranston for a moment_'' She replied to him. Tony could here her type on a keyboard. After a minute or two, which looked like it was more then 15 minutes she spoke again. ''_You're in luck, Mr. DiNozzo. We have someone who deferred his or hers appointment for tomorrow afternoon, at 2:00 pm. Is that okay for you to come then?_''

''Just to make clear it is not for me, but for my best friend. Her name is Ziva David. She needs the help. I will be joining her though'' Tony cleared out.

''_That is very nice of you_'' She woman replied. ''_I will set Ziva David for that time than. Have a good day today and I will see you tomorrow around 1:45 pm_'' She explained.

''Thank you. We'll be there'' Tony politely spoke and hung up the phone.

He let out a deep sigh. This was the next step, for Ziva to recovery. Now, he really needed to get out for a moment, but Ziva was still asleep. He couldn't just leave her, could he? No, he couldn't. He dialed the first.. no second speed button of his cell phone. (guess who's number one!) and let it go over. Not even one whole rang had gone over or the person on the side of the line picked up the phone.

''_DiNozzo. Something wrong_?'' Gibbs asked. It was so sudden for Tony to call in the middle of the afternoon.

''I uh.. No not really. I just need to get out for a while. Get something. But Ziva's asleep and I don't want to leave her alone, you know. And I was wondering, if you don't have a case. Can you come over, just for an hour and a half or so?'' He asked. His voice sounded quite off in the older mans ear.

''_Give me 10 minutes to be there_'' Gibbs gave in. ''_Are you sure that __**you**__ are alright?_'' Gibbs asked now pointing the question to Tony.

''Don't worry about me. Just need to get something and I need air'' Tony reassured his boss.

''_Okay_'' Gibbs hung up. Tony could hear that, he wasn't fully convinced. And who could blame him? Tony didn't even try to be convincing.

…**...**

**Meanwhile at NCIS HQ, 3:50 pm**

Gibbs hung up the phone. And wrapped up his stuff. He actually was glad they didn't havea case. McGee had now the time to do paper, that was lying there too long, as always. And Abby had the chance to clean her Labby even better, then she already did everyday, if they had a case.

As he wanted to pick his jacket, he noticed a living form standing behind his bullpen.

''How much did you hear, Abby'' He asked, continuing putting his jacket on.

''All of it. I didn't eavesdrop. I just happened to be here because I wanted to talk to you'' She explained. Now walking into the bullpen to face her silver haired friend. ''Is everything okay with Ziva?'' She asked worried.

''Don't no much. But Tony has to get out for a while and doesn't want to leave Ziva alone'' Gibbs explained to him. Abby looked at him. ''You want to come along, don't you?'' It was a question, but Gibbs already knew the answer.

Even though the circumstances, Abby wanted to see her friend. She was so worried about Ziva, when the contact went dead and when she heard Ziva was dead, she didn't know what to do. And 3 weeks ago, when Ziva came out of the elevator, her heart dropped. Not that she was disappointed. She just couldn't believe that she could pull Ziva into a hug. But the look on Ziva's face was beside, dirty and sweaty, it was far gone. She knew back then, that it wasn't the end. She just hadn't expect _This_.

''McGee. If Vance ask where Abby and I are, tell him, that we were needed'' He said to his agent, still looking at Abby, who's face lite up a little.

McGee looked up from his work. He was so distracted, by the load of paper, that he hadn't really heard the conversation.

''And you are going to...?'' McGee asked, as he saw his boss and Abby already walking to the elevator.

''Tony's. We will explain later. But from now on. You have the say in what happens until I'm back!'' Gibbs stated and waited for the agreeing nod of McGee, that he got a second after he said it and the elevator doors closed.

''Yes boss!'' McGee called before they were completely closed and went back to work. ''Great, I am all alone now'' He sighed.

On their way to Tony's house, Gibbs drove. This time he was not being reckless and _almost_ obeyed the traffic rules. Which is completely surprising for everyone who knows Gibbs for even only two days. If it wasn't for Abby, no one would worry about it, but this was Abby and this was kind of not her Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

''You okay, Gibbs?'' She therefor asked.

Gibbs let out a sigh. ''Yes, I'm fine. Just worried myself, not only about Ziva, but also about Tony''

''What about Tony?'' Abby was now worried herself.

''He sounded off. That is one of the reasons I brought you with me. I want you to go with Tony, where ever he's going. And help him with whatever that is bothering him. I will stay with Ziva until you guys are back.'' He explained.

''Yes boss!'' Abby made a soldier position with her hand. Gibbs had to chuckle about it.

…**..**

**Back at Tony's apartment 4:00 pm**

Tony cleaned up the little mess there was made in the last couple of days. He quickly turned into other clothes because the ones he was wearing were still damp from their swim adventure, that started out all to fun and ended up like this.

At the moment he put on a clean shirt, he heard the knock on the door. He looked over to Ziva, but she remained sleeping. She had tossed her clothes on the floor and was sleeping in one of his College shirts. ''I'll be back soon'' He whispered and walked out of the bedroom.

He walked over to the door and at the moment Gibbs wanted to knock a second time, Tony opened the door.

''Hey Boss, Abby'' He greeted them. He was a little surprised to see Abby. ''Come in'' Tony opened the door further and let his friends and coworkers come in.

''Hey!'' Abby said and gave him a hug. She began to worry, when Tony didn't fully return the hug, like she was used to.

Tony closed the door and Gibbs walked over to the couch and plopped on it.

''Everything alright?'' Abby asked as she sat down next to Gibbs.

''Yes, everything is okay. I just need to get out and buy something'' Tony lied. He just had to get out for a moment.

''Abby's coming along with you'' Gibbs stated.

Tony wanted to argue, but the look in Gibbs eyes were steady and permanent and told him, not even to think about doing that. ''I figured something like that'' He responded.

''Is there anything I should know about Ziva, before you go?'' Gibbs asked.

Tony thought for a moment. ''Don't let her into the kitchen alone'' He started explaining. ''Not even for 1 minute. If she has a nightmare, wake her up as soon as possible, before she does something she regret. When you hear something fall and break into pieces, check out what it is, if Ziva's not with you. Check sometimes if she has something with her, that she can use to hurt herself. When she gets a panic attack, play this'' Tony gave Gibbs the CD, he bought her yesterday.

''She likes the music and I think it will calm her down. Other then that. Please don't be scared of her, how she looks, if she still has the pajama on on, when she wakes up and walks in here. It's not a pretty sight, to see. She has multiple old scars of Saleem on her arms. And now she has newer burn scars all over her arms and stomach. She also has an big cut on both her hands and 4 cuts between the fingers of her left hand''

Abby and Gibbs looked at each other and back at Tony. There was so much you had to know about her. And here he was, Tony, knew all this after 3 days.

''Anything else?'' Gibbs asked as the information had sank in.

''Now that you ask about it yes. Talk to her, even is she doesn't say something back. Which I'm pretty sure she won't in the first couple of minutes or hour'' Tony said.

Gibbs nodded in understanding. ''Good. Now you go ''buy'' something and I will keep an close eye on Ziva''

''Thanks boss'' Tony said and he grabbed his jacket and Abby stood up. ''You really don't have to go along''

''Yes I do! Boss orders'' Abby replied. Tony looked back at Gibbs and nodded. Then he and Abby walked out the apartment.

…**...**

**DC central park, 4:20**

Tony sat down in a bench in the middle of the park. Abby sat down next to him. She knew, something was bothering him and he had to talk about it.

''I thought, we were going to buy something'' She asked him

''Come on Abby. We both know that you and Gibbs already knew that was not the truth'' Tony replied. He stared at the playground, where kids where just playing. ''You know, sometimes I wish I was a kid again and then not the same I was back than''

''What are you talking about Tony?''

''As a kid, you don't have worry or sadness. Or at least that is how it is suppose to be for a kid. You can fantasize about everything and say most of the ridiculous things and it's all good. You can be yourself. But as an adult, you have to be someone. Everyone has expectations about you''

''I'm still the same one I was as a kid'' Abby stated.

''Believe me. I know and that what I admire about you'' He said, now for the first time looking at her.

''Thanks. But why are you telling me this''

''It's hard to explain. Ziva's has a voice in her head. It's telling her what she can and can't do, if she doesn't obey she has to be 'punished' which means—'' Tony said but was cut off.

''She hurts herself'' Abby finished for him.

''Yes. I'm at the point that she trust me more that the voice in her head. But every time I figured out something, the voice strikes back with a new thing. First is was just burn marks, with a lighter, then she was burning herself with the oven, she let a plate fall so that the shattered pieces were cutting her and last night she cut herself with a box cutter when she was supposed to go, put on other clothes'' He explained.

''That's cruel'' Was the only thing Abby could say.

''When I'm around her, the voice seems the stop for the most of it. But I think I messed it up this afternoon''

''What did you do?'' Abby raised her eyebrows.

''We were at Déserté Parc''

''That park that was closed 25 years ago, because of something no one understands?'' Abby asked surprised.

Tony chuckled. ''Yes that one. We had a great time. We talked about things, about her and we even had a new record of not hearing the voice'' He smiled lightly.

''Then what happened?''

''She told me she was warm and because she couldn't pull up her sleeves because the sun hurts on the marks, I picked her up and threw her into the lake'' He explained.

''Typical you'' Abby laughed. ''Was she upset about it or something''

''No. in the morning she was talking to the voice. About someone she liked. I thought she was talking about me. And when we were in the water, I made a mistake and kissed her''

''And she wasn't talking about you?'' Abby was surprised, she had thought she was talking about him. Who else did she talk about.

''No the point is, that she _was_ talking about me and somehow, _that _is what was upsetting her!'' Tony said frustrated and he put his head in his hands. ''And because of what I did, I think she lost the trust in me''

Abby put a arm around his shoulders and pulled him into a sidewards hug. ''She will still trust you Tony. I think that she's confused. Look at what happened to Micheal, she trusted him and look what he did. It just scares her I think. Trust me she won't hate you or anything. After all you did I think she's knows how trustworthy you are''

Tony let out a small smile. ''Thanks Abbs'' He said and gave her kiss on her temple.

''Hey! Don't kiss me! We don't want to make Ziva jealous'' Abby said and wiped the place he kissed her.

''I doubt that she will be jealous of that Abby. I kissed her on the lips and it was not meant to be just a friendly kiss'' Tony chuckled.

''Oh, now you're just trying to make _me _jealous!'' Abby punched him on the arm.

''Ouch!'' He squealed and he rubbed his arm. ''No Abby. I really like her'' He admitted.

''I know. I knew that from the moment you walked into Labby with her. You just didn't know it yourself yet''

''And you didn't had the idea to tell me?'' Tony raised his eyebrows.

''Sorry. I learned that you have to let love take his way and not to interfere'' Abby explained.

''You're one weird friend, you know that?'' Tony laughed.

''And that's why you love me!'' Abby stated.

''Yes I do!'' Tony said and gave her another hug. ''Thank you Abby'' He politely.

''You want to go home now?'' Abby asked as she pulled away.

''As much I want to be around Ziva. I think I'll stay here a little big longer'' Tony replied. So they stayed here a little longer and started talking about the cases, Abby had and a bunch of other things.

…**...**

**Meanwhile, with Gibbs and Ziva**

Ziva was struggling. sweating, tossing and turning in bed. Gibbs had heard the noise she made and walked over to the bedroom.

He saw her and the way she was, other then the fact she had uncovered herself from the blankets and the bruises, marks and scars were visible, he was scared at the terrifying face she had. She mumbled and at the end is was clear what she was saying.

''Ziva..'' Gibbs called. She didn't respond. She kept tossing and turning and mumbling. He walked over to Tony's bed and reached for Ziva's arm. ''Ziva. Wake up!'' He said slightly louder. The simplest touch on her arm, made her waking up in her ninja style.

''NO!'' She yelled. Gibbs did the only thing he knew and grabbed, just like Tony did, her wrists, to stop her from hitting him.

''Ziva! It's me, Gibbs!'' He yelled to her.

Ziva looked at him. She was confused. ''_Tony left you Ziva! You see what happened?_'' The voice told her. ''Where's Tony?'' Ziva panicked.

''He had to go buy something'' Gibbs explained.

''_See? He doesn't want to be with you!_'' The voice lied. ''No! He cannot leave me! He promised me!'' Ziva yelled and and she pulled her arms out of Gibbs's grip. She stepped out of bed and ran over to the living room. Gibbs hurried to follow her.

''Ziva! He will be back in half an hour!'' Gibbs tried. He really didn't know what to do.

''_No he won't Ziva! He left you. You scared him away! Even he couldn't deal with a freak like you!_'' The voice went on. ''You're lying!'' Ziva told Gibbs ''He doesn't come back. He left!'' Her face went white and Gibbs saw the light go out in her eyes. ''I'm not good enough..'' The suddenly calm voice and the lost eyes, Gibbs was scared.

''No.. Ziva. You are!'' Gibbs tried. He stepped towards her and wanted to hug her.

''_He's lying again Ziva. And you're right. You are not good enough, for anyone in this world. You're father left you to die. I used you as a toy, in Somalia. Don't get me wrong you were the best one to play with, but now, the only one you trusted, has left you. They don't care about you Ziva. No one does!_'' The voice had her completely. At this. Ziva pushed Gibbs away. She was completely lost and didn't know what she did. She kept pushing Gibbs away.

''Ziva stop it!'' Gibbs yelled. ''Don't believe it! Tony will be back! I'm calling him now!'' He tried.

''No!'' She yelled one more time and hit him in the stomach. Even Gibbs couldn't fight against Ziva. Not in this state. He fell to the ground. Ziva ran over to the kitchen. She went through all the cabinets and draws and found the one with the cutlery. She picked out a big knife, one they use to cut meat with.

''_Perfect_'' The voice said. She could almost hear it laugh. She sank to the ground with the knife. She pulled her knees up to her nose and started humming and shaking, the knife clammed in in her hand, which she had wrapped around her legs.

This scene, is how Gibbs found her. ''Ziva..'' He tried to calm her.

''Go away!'' She shouted, her voice was cold and steady. unlike her body.

''Ziva.. put the knife away'' Gibbs said.

* * *

_**Omg! the adrenalin i got from writing the last part with Ziva, it got me shaking while writing it! please, let me know what you think about it :) i love reviews and i want your opinion about what i'm writing so please review :D **_

_**I should be free tomorrow, so there should be a next chapter up soon! Thanks for reading :) **_

_**Leonie**_


	11. Because I Trust You

**_Soooo heeerreeee's chapter 11 :D I have to tell you first, it's quite dark, just like the previous chapter. But in the next chapters it will be better. But otherwise it wasn't my story after all. But there will be better parts too in this chapter! So i hope you're going to like it!_**

**_Anyways! OMFG! thanks for all the reviews :D i really love them and i apreciate that :D review again if you want or if you want to see something in the furute chapters and such or just tell me what you think. Also thanks for the new followers and favorites and such :D LOVE YOU! _**

**_Back to the story! Enjoy your reading!_**

* * *

**DC Central Park, 4:15 pm**

''Yeah.. boss?'' Tony answered after receiving his phone call. He didn't get a reply. He only heard voices slightly further away. ''Gibbs?'' He now began to worry.

'' _No!_'' Tony heard Ziva's voice on the other side of the line. His heart dropped as soon as he realized what happened. He heard a fight going on and a loud bang of something or someone falling. After that it went silent for a moment.

''Boss? Are you still there?'' Tony asked.

''What is going on Tony?'' Abby asked. She saw Tony's face change color, from light red from laughing and a little tan, to pure white.

Tony kept listening in the hope to figure out what was happening right now, but his heart dropped even further as soon as he heard Gibbs talk.

_''Ziva..'' He heard. _

_''Go away!'' He heard Ziva scream. _

_''Ziva... put.. the knife.. down'' He again heard Gibbs, trying to calm her. _

''Oh.. SHIT!'' Tony screamed and hung up the phone. ''We have to get home _Now!_'' He said to Abby. And she knew it was serious.

''I'm driving'' She said and she ran after him.

Tony and Abby reached for the car and Abby started giving gas, like she had never do before. She almost drove like Gibbs, when they had to chase someone or if they had to be somewhere in a emergency. Which this was by the way.

Tony held on to the car door and tried not to get sick, and that was very difficult. Because if he wasn't getting sick by the way Abby drove, he was going to get sick anyway, by the thought of all the thing Ziva could do with a knife.

…**...**

**Meanwhile, Tony's apartment**

''Ziva.. calm down. Tony is on his way'' Gibbs said. He was sure, that Tony heard the conversation and knew that he was coming as fast as possible.

''He left. You were right Saleem'' Ziva said her voice was cold, calm and far away.

''No. Ziva. It's me Gibbs!'' Gibbs tried his best, but he really didn't know what to do. And than his phone rang and he didn't hesitate to pick up. ''DiNozzo! Help me out here!''

''_What happened?'' _Tony asked, his voice cracked of worry.

''No time to explain. I can't get through to her'' He said frustrated.

''_On top of my stereo, there's a CD, put it in. Doesn't matter which song_'' He said. Tony didn't know if it helped, but she liked it and it couldn't hurt to try. Gibbs ran over there and put the CD in.

The stereo blasted on and and Gibbs had to drop down the volume to half. He walked over to Ziva again. He saw her reacting to the music, as if she reconized it.

''Now what?'' Gibbs ordered.

''_Keep talking to her. We're almost there. Just two minutes!_'' Tony said. Gibbs did what he was told and walked into the kitchen.

Ziva looked up, still her face showed no emotion. ''Go away Saleem!'' She ordered.

''Its me Ziva.. Leroy Jethro Gibbs'' Gibbs talked his voice was calm.

''You're lying. That's not nice'' Ziva said. The way she said it, it sent a shiver of fear through Gibb's spine. He had fought against the most scariest serial killers and terrorists. But that what nothing compared to this.

''I'm telling the truth Ziva. I killed Saleem, remember? We saved you!'' He said and stepped one step forward.

Ziva tightened the grip around the knife. And pointed it to Gibbs. ''Don't come closer!'' She told him, her voice was shaking. ''_He's lying again Ziva. You hear me right? Do I sound dead?_'' The voice in her head said.

''Tony saved you, Ziva. He went to Somalia for you. I made the killing shot, in the head. Remember?''

''Tony..'' Ziva said, for the first time showing an almost invisible emotion.

''Yes Tony!''

''Tony's dead...'' Ziva said coldly.

''What? No he's on his way here. I have him on the phone here Ziva. You want him?'' Gibbs reached out the phone for her. But she only held the knife more steady pointin at him.

''NO, you're lying!'' She yelled and at that moment a door flew open.

''Gibbs?!'' Tony's voice rang through the apartment.

''We're in the kitchen'' Gibbs called back.

He heard the running feet of Tony and Abby coming closer. And after nearly 5 seconds Tony and Abby both turned into the kitchen. Abby wanted to scream at the sight, but no sound escaped her mouth. Tony was shocked by the sight too, but he knew he couldn't freak now.

''Ziva'' Tony stepped forwards her.

Ziva head shot up by his voice and the point of the knife turned to him.

''I'm here Ziva''

''You are dead, I saw you dying!'' Ziva said shocked. Now the emotion was obvious in her voice. Tony stopped walking.

''No. You know I could never leave you!'' Tony said his voice soft and calm. He thought for two seconds and a thought popped in his head. ''It was just a dream Ziva'' He tried.

''I saw it'' The knife began to shake again. Her voice was filled with emotion now. She wasn't sure anymore and she turned confused.

Abby walked towards Gibbs, who wrapped his arms around his favorite lab rat. They watched in incertitude

''I'm here. Who do you trust Ziva? Me or him?'' He repeated the question he asked before, again he took a few steps forward.

The question raced through Ziva's head. ''_Ziva! Get a grip!_'' The voice tried. She remembered him asking that question.

''Don't listen to him Ziva'' Tony said. He was sure. He was getting through to her. He stepped again a few steps forward until he stood inches from her and he lowered himself. The point of the knife was almost against his nose. ''You won't kill me Ziva. You said it three times today and I'm still alive'' He slightly chuckled even though the serious danger he was in

That sentence, Ziva remembered him saying that, In the water. She remembered everything now, even the kiss.

Her eyes turned back to the ones he was used to. ''You kissed me..'' She said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Gibbs raised his eyebrows and looked at Abby. She had an guilty look on her face, like she knew where Ziva was talking about. Tony could feel Gibbs's eyes beaming through him and Tony wouldn't dare to look at his boss right now. It wasn't the time, for dealing with the rule 12 thing.

''Good! You remember our day'' Tony tried to lighten it a little. He reached out his hand ''Ziva.. give the knife to me. I don't want you to get hurt''

''_I don't want you to get hurt_'' Raced through Ziva's mind. She let go of the knife and Tony grabbed it from her. As soon as he could he pushed the knife over the floor to Gibbs. He sat down next to her. Tony put his finger under her chin and turned her face to him.

''Look at me'' He said and she look at him. ''I'm not dead and I won't be for a long time, I'm not leaving you like this. You trust me right?'' She only nodded. ''Come here''

He opened his arms and she crawled to him. Ziva wrapped her arms around his waist and he put one arm around hers, while his other arm went around her hand and rested on her forehead pulling her close to him and kissed her on her temple. It didn't take long before soft sobs came out of her and the tears started to roll down her cheeks. While make soothing sounds, Tony looked up to Gibbs and Abby. He let out a deep breath, out of relieve, he didn't know he was holding.

Gibbs and Abby watched the couple. Looked how well Tony was able to get through to her.

''I'm so sorry Tony. Saleem killed you in my dream and then you weren't home and I just freaked. He had me Tony, I was at the point to be doing anything he wanted me to'' Ziva cried.

''I know. I figured that out. But the point is, that you didn't do anything. You had the knife and the opportunity, but you didn't do anything. Look, Gibbs is unharmed, Abby and I are unharmed and most of all, you aren't hurt either. You did good'' He reassured her, he rubbed her back with his hand.

Ziva looked up to meet Gibbs and Abby's stare of worry. She just couldn't talk to them. It was to hard.

''You can trust them too, Ziva. They want the same as me. They want you save and healthy. They care about you'' Tony said as he saw her staring at them. He stood up and reached out a hand to help her stand.

''It's true Ziva'' Abby said walking towards her. Ziva didn't respond. At the time Ziva wanted to say something, Abby wrapped her friend into a hug and Ziva hesitantly returned the hug, placing her hands on Abby's shoulder blades. Ziva's head was resting on Abby's shoulder and her watered eyes were looking at Gibbs.

As Abby pulled back, Ziva gave her a soft smile, but the tears remained in her eyes. Then Abby stepped aside and, next was Gibbs. This time she was the one walking to anyone.

And at the moment she stood in front of Gibbs, she knew she had to say something to her boss. ''I'm so sorry, you had to see that, Gibbs'' She cried and then Gibbs pulled her into a hug. One hand on her head and stroking through her hair to calm her down.

''It's okay. Nothing happened'' He said and he looked at Tony. ''You're gonna be fine. Do I need to head slap Tony for you?'' He asked remaining looking at Tony, who's face turned pale as he realized where Gibbs was talking about.

Gibbs could feel Ziva smile a little. ''No that's okay. He did nothing wrong'' she said, making sure to reassure Tony with it.

Abby looked over to Tony with a 'Told-you-so' look and he had a ''Shut-up' look on his face.

''What do you guys think about some pizza?'' Tony clapped in his hands. The three coworkers looked at him. ''What? I wasn't able today to cook and all this had made me hungry''

''You can cook?'' Abby laughed and Gibbs smirked.

''Hey! Yes I can cook! Ziva tell them that I can cook'' Tony responded childlike.

''I didn't believe it either'' Ziva said and put her hands up in mercy. Tony glared at her and she smiled. ''But I have to say, that his meals are very good'' She admitted. He was satisfied with that.

''Now that I have a look around your apartment'' Abby began as she walked back into the living room with the rest following her. ''I think it's really nice''

Tony nodded. ''Thank you. So pizza?'' He the asked, only to get agreeing nods in reply.

''What about McGee?'' Ziva asked as she just now noticed he wasn't here.

''We forgot about Tim!'' Abby laughed to Gibbs.

''I'll call him. See if he's up for pizza too?'' Gibbs said in a question and saw that Tony was already re saying his order and ordered an extra pizza. He pulled out his phone and called McGee.

''_Is this really what you want Ziva? They're not trustworthy, you know that_'' The voice said. The little smile on Ziva's face faded and Tony had noticed the smile disappearing.

''Ziva..'' He said, he held a hand over the horn of the phone. She looked up to him. ''Ignore it. It's lying about whatever it is saying''

The smile returned again. And she gave him a appreciated nod. After Tony had hung up the phone, he and Ziva went over to the living room, to clean up the little mess she had made in the fight with Gibbs.

Gibbs looked at the couple and wondered one thing. ''_How long will it still take_''

Abby had noticed Gibbs staring at them and pushed him slightly to get his attention. He turned to face her. ''You're not going to interfere, are you?'' She asked him. He didn't respond to it and looked back to Tony and Ziva busy cleaning up. An smirk appeared on his face.

* * *

_**I know this chap is rather short, compared the last one! sorry about that!**_

_**OMG they forgot about Tim! :O truth is.. that I forgot about McGee xD.. haha no really i just did not no, how to place him in this chapter or the story in general :S **_

_**So if you guys have any idea's for our Probie in this story, please tell them as you leave a review i love soooooo much :D **__**if not for McGee, please a review anyway, i want to know your thoughts about my story! **_

_**Love ya all! Leonie**_


	12. Magic words

_**sooooooooooooo sorry about the loooooooong gape, between the last chapter and this one! :O:O :(:( I was super busy, with work, babysitting and ofcourse my other story(s) (If you're not reading that one... Make sure you check out my profile :D and read my 'NCIS Chronicles'. you will love it!)**_

_**Also, i want to apologize if you are annoyed about the my grammar and such. i am not english, and i'm dyslectic, plus the fact i have to have new glasses, makes that i overread things too.. I know i'm bad.. **_

_**lastly, THANK YOU for reviewing and such! i love you guys :D **_

* * *

**Tony's apartment, 21:40 pm**

''Nice going McDrunk!'' Tony exclaimed softly, when McGee fell over his own shoelaces and ended up on the couch.

The evening had turned into an quite amused evening. Abby and McGee had played a betting game and every time you lost a bet.. you had to have a shot alcohol.. Sadly for McGee, but amusing for Abby and the rest, McGee lost 4 bets in a row, which meant four shot in a row. The alcohol hadn't fallen well, by poor McGee.

''I think I'm going to give him a drive home. He can't drive now'' Abby suggested, still laughing.

''He can't even stand. And no, he can't stay here either'' Tony stated, his still voice softly, because Ziva had passed out 10 minutes ago. She was using his lap as a pillow. Abby looked quick at the sight and Tony smiled back to her.

''Come on Timmy. Lets get you into bed'' She said dragging his limp body. No complete words were able to get out of his mouth, but he somehow managed to stay steady on his feet. Tony wanted to stand up, to walk his friends out and say goodbye.

''You stay were you are DiNozzo. I walk them out'' Gibbs ordened. Tony looked at him for a moment, but was not in the mood to argue with his boss and simplely nodded.

''See you soon. Tony'' Abby said happily and gave him a kiss on the cheek, when she passed him by, with a limping McGee attached to her arm.

''Goodnight and don't let him out of your sight. We all know what he will do when he's in this state'' Tony reminded.

Abby thought back to the last time she had seen him like this and then smiled to Tony. ''That isn't _that_ bad'' She chuckled and Tony laughed. Gibbs rolled his eyes. ''Bye!''

''Bye!'' He said as he heard the door open. He looked at Ziva. She was sleeping. Thank God, that she hadn't a bad dream. He liked to think about the fact, that she was with him, was the reason she hadn't a nightmare, but he didn't really know.

He stroked through her hair, sweeping away a strand of hair in the progress. His hand fell on her cheek and he began to stroke her soft skin, with his thumb. ''I'm here, Ziva'' He whispered to her. ''I will always be here for you''

''You better be'' The low voice of his boss came from behind him. Gibbs walked around the couch and set down on one of the chairs across from the couch and the coffee table. Gibbs just stared at him and Tony knew what Gibbs was thinking about. ''She's sleeping huh'' He asked.

''She passed out, after McGee third shot'' Tony explained. He looked down at Ziva. He was waiting for Gibbs to bring it up. But his boss just kept looking at the two, so Tony spoke again. ''I was so scared Gibbs. I just felt the coolness of the blade on my nose. What if I didn't come through to her?''

Wait.. This was not what Gibbs had expected. And neither was Tony. It just sort of came out of him.

''You tell her every time to trust you, but you have to trust her too'' Gibbs explained. ''Besides, you know so much, of how to handle it. I knew for sure you were the one to get her back''

''Thanks'' Tony looked up to Gibbs. ''About that other thing—'' He began but he was cut off.

''What the hell were you thinking?'' Gibbs countered.

''I.. I didn't really. I would say it was a mistake.. but she herself said, that I did nothing wrong'' Tony told him. He looked down to Ziva again, to make sure she was sleeping. ''I'm confused, by her words. I know she feels something more and I know you see it too, but at the same time I get the feeling she doesn't want to feel the same way''

''Maybe that's true'' Gibbs simply replied. ''Maybe, she doesn't want to feel the same way''

''_What the hell? I wanted reassurance. Not this!_'' Tony thought. ''I don't understand''

''You remember what she said? 'The ones who get to close always end up dead' she said. She's scared Tony'' Gibbs explained.

Tony sighed, as he remembered the words. ''I know. I know''

''Just give her time, to figure out what she wants and to get better'' Gibbs explained.

''I wasn't going to push her. I want to talk to her though''

''You should''

''Wait, does this mean, you're okay with this? My feelings and all''

''No'' Gibbs stated coldly.

''but I—'' Tony wanted to start but Gibbs cut him off.

''But, you don't need my permission, on who you can or can't care about, in a different way as just your partner/coworker, Tony''

''What about rule 12?'' He said confused. ''Am I going to be fired?''

''Which rules do you know so far, Tony?'' Gibbs asked him.

So Tony began from the start. When he was done he had told Gibb's all rules he knew. ''I don't get it'' He said.

''Noticed that there are some gaps between some rules'' Gibbs than asked. Tony nodded, not sure what to think of it. ''That's because some rules were never mentioned before. Like rule 50 for example'' Gibbs informed him.

''And that one is...?'' Tony let Gibbs finished it.

''For the right person(s), Some rules are meant to be broken'' Gibbs stated, he stood up walked over to Tony and Ziva.

Tony was a little confused. ''I still don't know what you mean'' He said.

Gibbs sighed, frustrated at how dumb his SFA could be. ''Look down Tony!'' He demanded and head slapped him. So Tony did and a soft smile appeared on his face, finally realizing where his boss was talking about.

''Okay. Maybe I _do_ know what you mean'' He said and looked to where his boss was standing, just a second ago. But now he was gone. ''Gibbs?'' He said, but no answer was giving him. ''_Gibbs had left the building_'' Tony thought to himself and he chuckled at the Elvis reference, he even heard Gibbs saying it, trying to impersonate the 'Elvis voice'.

The moment of Tony laughing to himself, made Ziva wake up slightly. She opened her eyes slightly, seeing the table full of shot glasses. Ziva instantly pulled away from his embrace and looked confused, as the memories of the day, came back in her head.

Tony watched her carefully, not daring to say something as she gathered her thoughts and memories.

''How bad was I?'' She asked, breaking the silence that had last five minutes.

''Pretty out of it Ziva'' He honestly respond. ''Ziva you had no idea, how scared I was''. He looked at her. She wanted to say something, but closed her mouth again.

Tony picked up what she wanted to say. ''No Ziva, you don't scare me away. It was the thought you could've gotten hurt that scared me'' He answered the unspoken question.

''How did y—?'' She began but was cut off.

''What you were going to ask?'' He finished. ''Well, I guess I got to know you a little, in the past four years''

Ziva smiled a little. ''Thank you, Tony''

''You're welcome Ziva. I will always be here for you'' He said tugging a strand of hair behind her ear, stroking his fingers over her cheek, while doing that.

His light touch, sent a shiver down Ziva's back. It was so tender, so sweet and the smile that came along with it, gave her a save feeling. But, no. She couldn't give in to it, _yet_.

Tony frowned. ''_Did I say something wrong?_'' He thought. ''Are you okay?''

''About what happened at the park...' She began but trailed off.

''Ziva. I shouldn't have kissed you. I was a bad idea and—'' He apologized.

''It wasn't a bad Idea. I said that I felt the opposite from what you said I felt and I meant it'' Ziva said to him. Her voice just above whisper. Tony grew a grin in his head, that turned into small smile, hiding. Ziva saw the smile. ''It wasn't you're best idea either'' She added. His the smile dropped. It made her smile instead. It went silent for a moment.

Ziva saw that Tony was unsure of that to say, so she spoke again. ''Do you regret it?''

Tony thought for a moment. ''_Does she really want to know?_'' He thought. After a moment, when Ziva wanted to speak again. He spoke. ''I don't regret kissing you, but I know the timing what off''

''Yes it was'' She agreed. It made Tony a little unsure. ''But..'' She added. ''That doesn't mean I didn't like it or do not appreciate, why you did it''

Tony's head shot up and looked into her eyes. Ziva smile and returned the stare. ''_What?_'' He thought surprised. ''What does that mean?''

Ziva did not speak. She just placed her soft hand on his stubble left cheek. It made Tony shiver again, he couldn't get enough of that feeling. He loved it. Then Ziva leaned forward and placed an kiss on his other cheek, that was very similar, to their talk in the mens room. But at the same time, it felt very different. It meant something else, than the 'thank you' she gave him back then.

As she pulled back, she met his surprised stare again and smiled. ''I think you know what it means Tony'' She said. He didn't respond. He didn't know what to say, after all the things he wanted to say, failed to come out of his mouth. Ziva stood up. ''I'm going to bed. I would love it if you would just be with me in the room. I do not want to sleep alone. Look at what happened the last time'' She said,

''I'll will be right there'' Was the only thing that Tony managed to say. Ziva smiled and walked into Tony's bedroom. Tony just stared, to where Ziva sat, seconds ago. The feeling of her lips on his cheek, was still fresh on his cheek, as he placed his hand on the place, she kissed him. Most of all it was in his mind, but he could feel it, the shivers going over his whole body. ''Yes I know what you meant'' He whispered.

Slowly. Super slowly. He was making progress. ''_Progress'' _He thought. Shit he forgot about telling about the appointment, tomorrow! And worse, Ziva doesn't like surprises. With that thought, hidden behind the his thought about the kiss, he stood up and also walked over to his bedroom.

* * *

_**Tony's making progress. Also TIVA is making progress :D haha next up is their first meeting with Rachel. Will she know/remember the name Tony DiNozzo and how will Ziva react to the counsling ? Read it in the next chapter! :D (Woow that sounded weird.. )**_

**_Anyways! thank you for reading this story. Follow me if you want to know what's going to happen and please tell me what you think or what you want to happen. Leave a review! i love them, they keep me going :D I love you guys! haha!_**

**_x Leonie_**


	13. I Do Not Deserve You

_**Sorry it took a long time to update this guys. Sometimes my inpirations lacks alittle. but hey.. That's happens to the best of us, doesn't it?**_

_**So anyways, thanks for all the lovely reviews and welcome to the new followers and such.. I LOVE YOU :D! **_

_**enjoy your reading! **_

* * *

**ony's bedroom. 5:45 am**

Ziva woke up. She heard the rain ticking against the window and the a thunderstorm was coming their way. She groaned at it. She wanted to go for a run. That was maybe not best idea, but she missed to exercise. Ziva knew the moment that she heard the rain, it was a lost cause.

Even thought she wasn't going for a run, she intended to get up out of bed, but she was hold back by the force of weight lying on her side. She stroked over it, to see if she knew what it was, that was lying over her. When she realized that is was Tony's arm that was resting over her waist and his hand on her hip, she tensed up.

Tony had woken up by her attempt and smiled when he felt her tense up. He removed his hand from her hip, moved it to her stomach and pulled her closer to him.

''What are you doing Tony?'' She asked him, sounding sleepy and a little nervous.

''Keeping warm. It's cold outside and still to early'' He said also sleepy and his eyes were still closed.

''Tony..'' Ziva's voice cracked. ''Please stop''

Tony thought she was just being stubborn like she always did. But then he only felt her tense up more, he noticed she was really.. scared?

''You don't like to cuddle? You seemed fine in Paris'' He chuckled trying to get her laugh too.

He failed. Tony loosened his grip and Ziva got up, swung her legs out of bed and sat on the edge of the bed. Tony was watching her every movement, trying to figure out what was wrong with her.

Ziva took a deep breath, her hands on both sides of her body, on the bed and she continued staring at the floor. Tony crawled from underneath the blankets and went to sit next to her. Just now noticing that her eyes were squeezed tightly together.

''Did I do something wrong?'' He hesitantly asked.

''What? No! No'' Ziva head shot up by his question. ''_How can he think that?''_ She thought. She lowered her gaze again. ''I... I just.. I don't know why.. No I do know why.. I.. I'm scared to be this close to you. I have no problem, that you hug me, in case I hear _It _again. But just now. You did it for other reasons''

''How do you know what my reasons are?'' He chuckled trying to lighten the tension on the room. This time he completed his *mission*.

''Tony..'' Ziva said showing a half smile.

''Okay.. okay. I admit it. But after our conversation last night, I thought... It would be fine''

''It should be fine. It _is _fine. I was just surprised, a lot. So much that it scared me. You are so spontaneous, sometimes''

''With you saying this. You make me want to give you a hug...'' He admitted hesitantly.

Ziva's smile grew bigger. ''I'm fine with that Tony. The feelings that I have, just scare me''

''You don't trust your feelings after Micheal, do you?''

The name scared her. She looked up to tony, her eyes slightly wide. Then her expression changed into worry again and she nodded slightly.

''I can understand that'' Tony said

''That's only a part of what scares me'' She said looking at him. He stayed silent and let her continue. ''It feels nice, having you so close and that scares me.. but..'' Ziva said but trailed off.

''I know what you mean, I've been there myself. I just can't imagine how it must conflict you. So I will be the gentlemen no one will believe I can be and just wait'' He explained.

''I know you can be a gentlemen, Tony. I can see when someone's pulling up a mask, you know. But I seriously need a hug right now'' She smiled a little, as if she was embarrassed to say it.

Tony smiled. Not his goofy grin, no a genuine smile. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her to him. He hesitated, but he couldn't resist it. He placed a gentle kiss on her cheek and he could feel and see her smile a little. It made him smile too. They sat there in a comfortable silence, until Ziva broke it.

''What do you want to do today?'' She asked

Tony looked at the alarm. *6:02 am* it said. First he groaned. It was still early for him. But then he remembered. ''_Shit! I still have to tell her!'' _He thought panicked inside.

Apparently Ziva had noticed him tense up. ''What?'' She asked and pulled away so she could see his face.

He slowly turned to look at her. ''Uhm... I don't want you to get mad''

Ziva narrowed her eyes. ''Tony.. Who did you kill?'' She accused him playfully.

''What? No not that'' He said putting his hands up in mercy.

''What is it than?'' She asked.

''Well.. before I called Gibbs yesterday, to ask if he wanted to come over for a hour or two. I sort of a.. called.. Rachel Cranston... and made a appointment for 2:00 pm today..'' He said hesitantly, waiting for an answer.

Ziva had the building desire to snap at him and say ''_You what!?..._'' But she couldn't bring herself up to saying that. The fact that he wanted to help her and it was a little to big to do so on his own, she appreciated that. She would never call by herself.

''Ziva?'' He asked snapping her out of her thoughts, the shocked face scared him a little.

Luckily for him her face softened and she smile lightly at him. ''Thank you'' She said sincerely.

He almost couldn't believe, that she was so easy with agreeing to go, but she trusted him right? ''I promise that I will be there. For at least the first two times. Just every time you want me around''

''That means today. The other times, I will see if I want to do it alone or not'' Ziva said smiling.

''Good. Now I am hungry'' He said clapping his hands.

''I want to go shower first. But I do love those toast that you make'' She smiled and stood up to go to the bathroom.

''Just tell me if I can help you with anything!'' Tony called, just before she closed the door. Ziva didn't respond and Tony shook his head smiling. He stood up and went into the kitchen.

…**.. **

**Waiting room, R. Cranston's psychologist center, 1:45 pm**

Tony and Ziva both walk into the large building. Much bigger than they had thought. Rachel was doing a great job, they saw. She wasn't the only psychologist in the building, but they had an appointment with her.

Tony noticed that Ziva was tapping her foot, nervously on the ground. He grabbed her hand and intertwined his fingers with hers. He gave her an squeeze to reassure her and Ziva looked up to him with a smile.

Then a woman that had some similarities with Kate, that Tony could see, came out one of the rooms.

''Miss, Ziva _Dah-veed?_'' She asked, unsure if she said the last name right.

Ziva took a deep breath and stood up. ''Yes. That would be me'' She said and walked over to her. Not noticing that she was still holding Tony's hand along the way. He couldn't resist but to smile about it.

''Hi. I'm Rachel. Nice to meet you Ziva. Did I say your last name right?'' She asked.

''_Great, she talks a lot!_'' the voice in Ziva head popped up and Ziva could swear if she saw him/it she saw him rolling his/its eyes. Ziva remained calm. ''Yes. Actually, you are one of few people, to pronounce it the right way the first time'' She answered.

Rachel smiled. ''Well come on in'' She said. She looked at Tony. ''_How come I recognize this person without seeing him before?''_ She thought. ''And who may you be?''

''Anthony DiNozzo Jr.'' He answered polite, showing grin. But it was different. Normally he would have a flirty smile, one that every woman would give in to. But now, he was just being polite and wasn't even making a attempt to flirt with a beautiful girl in front of him.

''_I know that name, but from where?_'' Rachel thought. ''Nice to meet you Mr. DiNozzo''

Ziva noticed that Tony wasn't flirting at all and smiled. ''_You are mistaking Ziva! He's still the same womanizer he used to be. He hasn't changed and you know it!_'' The voice told her. Her smile faded and she walked further into the room Tony and Rachel followed.

''You may sit down and start telling me what I can do for you'' Rachel said pointing to two chairs across from her and sitting down herself. ''It's not often that my clients take someone with them''

Ziva and Tony sat down. ''I.. guess it is just easier for me''

''I'm not saying it is wrong Ziva. I even very pleased to see you have someone you can trust, with this'' Rachel explained.

Ziva looked at Tony and he gave her a soft smile.

''So start explaining what brought you hear?'' Rachel began seriously, but not removing her soft smile.

''Well. Tony and I work at NCIS'' Ziva began.

''_NCIS. Omg now I remember that name.. Kate!_'' Rachel thought.

''I came in, after Tony lost his partner that was in 2005. I'm Israeli and...'' And so Ziva began her story. After 15 minutes she was at the point just after Somalia. '' And so when Saleem was done talking he released, the thing that was over my head and I saw Tony sitting there'' Ziva felt that Tony was squeezing her hand at this point. ''He and McGee along with my Boss saved me. After 3,5 months of sitting there. I thought it was over when I got home and took my first shower I had in moths''

''but it wasn't over, was it?'' Rachel asked further.

''No..'' Ziva felt the tears welling up in her eyes. ''_Don't show it! And don't say it!'' _The voice ordered. ''I had not even spent 2 hours in my new apartment or.. I don't even know.. a voice came into my head''

''A voice?'' Rachel shared a quick look with Tony and than back to Ziva. ''What does it say?'' She asked carefully.

''It.. tells me everything that Saleem used to tell me. That i'm not worth anything. I have no family, no friends, I'm useless. It tells me.. to do stuff''

''What kind of stuff?'' Ziva pulled up her sleeve and even Tony had to breath deep as he saw it. Rachel look at it. ''You are hurting yourself'' She concluded.

''Yes.. no.. It says that I must be punished for every little mistake I make.. obviously I make them a lot''

''No you don't'' Tony cut it.

Ziva looked at him. ''I've come far, after Tony had discovered where I've been up to. He's the one that put up a fight against the voice in my head and I can feel it. He's winning. But the problem is. Then when he's not around. For only 2 minutes, or just in an other room. The voice comes back and I can't win against it. Tony can win. But I have to win, do I not?'' Ziva explained.

''Yes you do. It's great that you have Tony around, but you have to be independent as well. Tony can't be around all the time. He has a life as well'' Rachel told her.

Tony wanted to say something about not complaining about ''spending the rest of his life'' with Ziva. But it was not the right time to bring that little fact up, right now.

''I am too weak to stand up against it. Every time I do, I lose and get an even bigger punishment'' Ziva said.

''You are not weak Ziva. You have survived months of torture. You come out of a rough family'' Rachel explained. ''_So rough. Your brother killed my sister but.._'' She thought. ''You didn't know love like you are getting now and this life is very new to you and the voice is fighting against that life. Like you don't deserve it. But everyone deserves some kind of love in their lives''

''But I can't resist the voice when I'm alone'' Ziva said.

''Do you love yourself, Ziva?'' Rachel asked sternly.

''What?'' Ziva looked up to her and then to Tony and then back to Rachel.

''Do you love _yourself_?'' Rachel repeated her question.

Ziva opened and closed her mouth several times, but she couldn't find the courage to.._lie.._so.. ''I guess, I don't. And I can't see why anyone would love me, like a daughter or a sister.. or wants to be my friend''

''You see Ziva. I noticed, that when you are capable to win against the voice is, when some one is around, that obviously, cares about you very very much. Father figures, brothers, sister.. grandpa even. But when you're alone you don't have that kind of love and the voice returns. Probably because you don't accept who you are and what has happened to you. You feel like you don't deserve them''

''I guess you are correct, about that'' Ziva nodded slightly.

''I know that you don't accept it. Because you said you have been in Somalia and you told me that they tortured you. But you are not going in details. And details are very important. Have you ever talked about them with someone else. Tony even?'' Rachel asked.

Ziva looked at Tony. Tony saw the guilty look on her face. ''No I haven't. I.. I don't think I can tell them here''

''Well, I hope you can, someday. But from what I can see, is that you will talk about it with someone'' Rachel looked a second to Tony. ''I have a pretty good idea on how I'm going try and help you'' She stood up. ''But this appointment is over and I have another one following''

''Can we come back later this week?'' Tony asked also standing up.

''I think the day after tomorrow, should be fine. Untill then, you are doing a wonderful job with her already, Tony''

''Just helping my best friend'' Tony smiled and shook hands with Rachel. Ziva also stood up and shook her hand.

''Thank you.. for listening'' Ziva said hesitantly

''Any time Ziva. So you can make a appointment, with my assistant, to get it on paper''

''We will'' Ziva said. She and Tony wanted to walk out of the room.

''Uhm.. Anthony?'' Rachel stopped him. She looked at Ziva. ''You can make the appointment by yourself, Ziva. I want to talk to Tony for a moment'' Ziva nodded and went out.

Tony closed the door. ''What is it?'' He asked worried.

Rachel smiled at him. ''Just so you know, that Kate would be proud of you'' She said.

Tony smiled too. ''You found out already?'' He asked.

''It's not difficult, when Kate talked about you all the time and the first thing she says that she _and _you both work at NCIS''

''I guess you're right. Thank you''

''Although.. she used to say that you are quite immature.. but I don't see that in you'' Rachel narrowed her eyes, thoughtfully.

''Well.. Ziva made me grow up a little'' Tony said looking at the closed door, as if he could see through it and saw Ziva.

''I see. That's why you take care of her'' Rachel laughed. It was complete obvious for her.

''What? What are you laughing at?'' Tony asked confused.

''No. it's nothing, really'' She replied.

Tony narrowed his eyes but then smiled. ''You look like her. You know that?''

''Yup. And I am proud of it'' Rachel said. ''Now go, help her. And I hope she opens up to you even more''

''I hope so too. Bye Rachel'' Tony said and walked to Ziva, who just was finished filling in some papers.

''See you soon. _Very _Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo Jr.'' Rachel said and went back in her office and closed the door.

…**.**

**Tony's car, on the way home 3:18 pm**

Tony looked at Ziva. She was resting her head on her hand, that was leaning against the door. She looked tired and relieved at the same time.

''You okay, Ziva?'' He asked after two minutes.

She looked at him and smiled. ''Honestly I am. Just thinking about what she said''

''She said a lot of things. Something in particular?'' Tony made eye contact with her and then watched the road again.

''About the details thing. She's right. I never talk about them''

''I think that I have a pretty good idea. About what happened back there. I was worn out that half day I spent there. I can only imagine what they did to you''

''yes.. but I think that I am ready to share them.. only with you. If you are okay with that''

''Even if its hard to listen to. I will always listen when you talk, Ziva'' He said and he grabbed her hand and intertwined his fingers with her.

''Okay. Tonight'' Ziva stated.

''Are you sure?'' He asked for conclusion.

''Yes I am sure'' She said.

''Okay. Tonight, it is then'' Tony said and squeezed her hand. They drove home in an comfortable silence, until Ziva fell asleep in the car.

* * *

_**So that was Rachel! Tell me? did i do a good job with it? I just want to know, i don't know the character to well you see. **_

_**Let me know what you think in a review! I love those and i love you even more if you leave one :) **_

_**xx Leonie**_


	14. Old Wounds, New Medicine

_**So here it is! :D chapter 14. let's just say that some scene's were new for me to write so sorry if it is a little... i don't know how to say it. but Here it is! **_

_**Thanks to all of you for following, reviewing and favoriting this story! :D I love you guys so much! **_

_**Enjoy your reading!**_

* * *

**Tony's apartment, 3:40 pm**

Tony opened the door of his apartment. He, being an gentlemen, let Ziva go in first and she thanked him for that.

''I'm going to get something to drink. To you want something?'' Tony said and asked her.

''Maybe a soda. If you still have those'' Ziva said.

Tony nodded and disappeared into the kitchen. Ziva let out a big sigh of relief. She was glad that she went to Rachel to talk. And she really hoped that Rachel, could help her with this. As much as she enjoyed being with Tony, she knew that some time of the other Tony had to go back to work or something and that she was going home herself. The week was half way over and where would that leave her? Would she also go back to work or would she stay home? The thought of staying home alone, scared her.

Ziva smiled when the piano came in her eyesight. She walked over to it and settled down before it. She opened it and the keys were showing. She remembered their moment from only two days ago. It seemed so long ago, it had been a long couple of days. She placed her fingers onto the keys and tried to remember, how to play the part he had taught her.

Tony was on his way back when he saw her sitting down at the piano. Though he said nothing and stopped in his tracks. He leaned against the door post. The first note he heard went wrong and he could hear Ziva swearing in Hebrew. Words he actually knew and he smiled. Then there was a silence for a couple of seconds. Ziva took a deep breath and then started again. This time she did great. She repeated the part for the following five minutes, then stopped and smiled at herself.

Tony walked to her and only then she realized that he had been watching her. He placed the two glasses of soda onto the coffee table and gave her an applause. Her surprised look turned into a soft smile.

''I see that you remember how to do it'' He finally spoke.

''Yes of course. I have a great teacher'' She said.

''Well then. Let the master show you, how the rest of the first verse goes'' He said, tapping her shoulder so she shove up a little so he could sit next to her. She did and he sat down. ''You can use those keys'' He said pointing to them. ''And I will do the same with the higher note keys. We first do this part together alright?''

''Okay'' She agreed.

They counted down and did the first part at the same time. Without any mistake, and pressing the keys at exact the same time, perfect in sync.

Tony smiled, but he didn't look away from his keys. ''Okay. After that, you do this'' He tapped a part. She did the same. ''Then you go like this'' He did again a little part. Ziva repeated, but messed up and frowned. Tony chuckled. ''No like..'' He took her hands and pressed the keys in the way he showed her. ''This''

She repeated and this time she accomplished. ''Good! So when you put it together you have this'' He said and he played the full first verse.

When he stopped, Ziva did what she had been taught and she did great, only two tiny mistakes.

''You're a fast learner'' Tony said and turned towards her.

''Like I said. I have a great teacher'' She let out a almost invisible smile.

Ziva and tony stared into each other's eyes, for a moment. Ziva was waiting. Waiting for 'It' to happen. Because she was afraid of making the first move. Afraid that 'the voice' would and pull them apart. But so far it had stayed away.

Tony really wanted to kiss her. Here and now. But he was afraid too. Last time he kissed her, even though is was just the briefest kiss you could imagine, she got a full blow panic attack. He didn't want to risk that again. ''_She's not ready DiNozzo! Get that thought out of your mind_'' He thought.

And eventually with that thought, he cleared his throat. ''Soda's are on the table'' He said and stood up, walking to the couch.

He didn't look at Ziva, fully missing her face of disappointment. Ziva also stood up and next down next to him. She grabbed a glass from the table and took a long sip. ''_Since when is silence between us so.. weird?_'' She thought.

She swallowed her sip. ''Tony...'' She spoke up.

''Hhmm?'' He said. At this point he had turned on the TV and was searching through the channels. ''Yeah?''

She wanted to talk about Somalia and about the sudden '_weirdness' _between them. But all she got out was, ''I think we should order take-out of only this day''

''Good idea! I'll go grab my cellphone and go do that. My phone lies in the bedroom'' He got up and walked to the bedroom.

''Ow.. okay'' Ziva said. Not knowing what else to say. ''_What the hell just happened?_'' She thought. ''_Isn't that obvious? He doesn't want to be with you anymore!'' _The voice spoke up. _''He made it very clear that he doesn't want to kiss you anymore. Had your change, you blew it, like always! And now he doesn't want anymore'' _It said. ''_No! That's not true!'' _Ziva shook of the idea, just before Tony came into the living room again.

Tony saw the struggling face of Ziva this time and frowned at the side. ''Everything okay?'' He asked as he plopped down next to her.

''I am fine'' She said shortly and rather coldly.

Tony narrowed his eyes, at the sudden transformation. ''You don't look fine''

''How would you know? You didn't see the look on my face before'' She snapped.

''Wow! Ziva'' He held his hands up in mercy. ''Did I do something?''

''No'' She said honestly. ''_That's just it!_'' She thought.

''than why are you acting, so.. _weird _all of the sudden? Tony asked.

''_Now i'm the one acting weird?'' _She thought to herself. ''It was just a long day. That is all''

''I can imagine that. You uh.. still want to talk about... you know.. Somalia?'' Tony asked hesitantly.

Ziva swallowed another sip of soda. ''Yes I do'' She said confident. At that moment the doorbell rang.

''Lemme get that'' He said and he disappeared to the door.

''_Ziva.. Ziiiiivaaaa!''_ the voice almost sang her name. ''_You are hurting yourself more than I ever did to you. Mental pain is greater then the physical_'' The voice spoke. Ziva now was frustrated at what he said. Her arms were crossed and her sleeved were half up. Ziva's nails were boring into her skin as she didn't noticed she was gripping her arms to tightly.

''What are you doing?'' Tony's voice shot through her head, only just now noticing that he had returned with the pizza. ''You're bleeding'' He said and put the pizza on the table.

''I am sorry'' She apologized as he sat down . ''I had not noticed what I was doing''

''I see that. You sure you want to talk about.. Somalia?'' Tony asked again.

''Yes, Tony. I am sure'' Ziva took a deep breath. ''I think that now is even better than tonight'' She didn't look at him, but her voice was still confident.

''You want something for the blood?'' Tony asked worried.

''No I am fine. It's not that bad''

''Okay. Just start when you are ready'' Tony agreed.

Ziva again took a deep breath and took his hand in hers. ''When you left me in Israel or when I stayed there. Some i was betrayed in so many ways. I was so mad at you for killing someone I loved dearly'' Ziva began

Tony's heart already stopped when Ziva said she loved loved Micheal. He remained silent and let her continue.

''I was so angry, that you had killed him. Now I know it was pure out of defense. I did not realize it at that time. I was not the only one who was mad at you and NCIS. My father was furious. Not only was he mad at you, he also was mad at me. That I let it happen. He doubted my loyalty to Mossad, to him. So he sent me to Somalia. I already knew it was a suicide mission, and the only thing I really hoped was that I got to get Saleem and then got killed myself. I was ready to die''

Tony could see the defeat in her eyes and remembered what she said back then. ''_So you will die with me'' _

''unfortunately, I didn't get to kill him and even more unfortunate _I _didn't get killed either''

''Ziva—'' Tony wanted to interrupted, when she obvious was saying that she had rather died then being there for 3,5 months. he could understand that, but she wanted to die before she knew she was there for so long.

''I know what you want to say, Tony'' She stopped him, ''I am glad that I made it out alive. I don't know why you were there 'to avenge my death'. But I am truly grateful that you did. Out of all the people, you were the one on the other side of my paper with names. However I did not believe that I was getting out of there alive. I had accepted my defeat, after only 2 days and was waiting at the day, that they were.. tired of me and killed me''

''You had lost all hope and faith in your live'' Tony said.

''How could I not? After my father sent my off on this mission, I realized that you were not the ones who had betrayed me, I had betrayed you, after_ my father _had betrayed me and he betrayed me again for sending me there. He knew that I was going to die and still he did not even hesitate to sent me'' her voice cracked, as her eyes were filled with tears, and her loose hand was balding with anger. ''He left me die'' she cried. Now she couldn't speak anymore.

''He did Ziva'' Tony words made Ziva look up to him for the first time. ''But I didn't. I thought you were already dead. I can't describe, how I felt when I heard that news. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. My mind was a wreck and I could only think of the words you spoke to me, that last day. The only thing that I could hear Gibbs saying was 'Dead.. Grab your gear..' I was still working, but I wasn't there anymore''

Ziva tightened the grip on his hand, seeing that this was as hard for him as it was for her. She let him continue.

''One day I couldn't handle it anymore. I wanted revenge, on Micheal, on your father, for you. You had died, because of the,. So I told Gibbs 'NO!'. I can't say if he was waiting for me to stop it, but he looked surprised. Then he gave me permission to make it a case. And when McGee, Abby and I figured out Saleem's, soft spot of Caf-Pow, I knew what I was getting myself into. I knew that once Gibbs would kill Saleem, that others would come in and kill me. I also was ready to die. But there you were, and suddenly I wasn't anymore. All I could think about was getting you out of there''

''_Couldn't live without you.. guess'' _Ziva remembered him saying that. ''Tony—'' Ziva wanted to interrupt, but was cut this time

''I can't imagine what they did to you'' Tony said.

''You know what they did to me? They burned me, like I burn myself, everywhere. They cut me with there knifes, all over my body, the worst on my back, let me bleed almost to death. Almost then they helped me in the worst way possible, to stay alive. They had beat me, several times, so that I broke bones I never knew I had. They let me drink, when they saw I was going to pass out by not having any fluid in my body left. Same goes for food'' Every word Ziva spoke went more softer.

''Did they.. Did.. they...'' Tony couldn't even bring out the words for his question.

Ziva was well aware of what he wanted to ask. ''Oh yeah. Several times a day, they _raped _me. I was pulled out of it the moment they came they grabbed me to go to the room you and McGee were in. You saved me from that one. I maybe nothing compared to the times they already did so many times. But I am really grateful for that''

''You're welcome Ziva. And I am so sorry, for making you stay there. For making you think you deserved to die it—''

''I do not blame you anymore Tony'' Ziva cut in. ''The only thing worse than you killing Micheal, would have been that he had killed you. I loved him Tony very much. But I was not _in _love with him''

''What do you mean?''

''There is an difference between loving someone or being in love with someone. I was never in love with him. He was just someone I had, because I could not have what I wanted. I was selfish and I got punished for that'' Ziva said, using 'The voice's' words.

''What did you want?'' Tony asked.

Ziva wasn't sure if she had the courage to answer that question. She hesitated and looked away. Tony was confused by it all. He was so naïve, sometimes. She looked back to him. Straight in the eye. And she knew that he wasn't going to figure out, if she didn't say or _do_ something. She just had to do it and she couldn't hold herself back anymore.

Before he could realize what she meant by it. Her hands went from his and to his face, along with her leaning in.

''What are yo-'' He wanted to ask, but he was off by her lips attacking his own. As he let sink in what was happening, he understood what and who she meant. And after two seconds, he changed his shocked state and he began to kiss her back. Licking her lips, begging for entrance, which she gave into very soon and their tongues met in the middle.

He sat up straight and she sat on her knees. Her hands went from his cheeks to the back of his neck, where one gripped his hair and pulled him closer to her. His hands began to wanders up and down her back and eventually settled on her hips. Their tongues continued battling for dominance as Ziva let herself fall onto her back on the couch and Tony moved with her, hovering above her.

* * *

**_I can hear some of you say ''FINALLY!'' haha :D. i know right? so how did i do? what do you think of my version of Somalia? hope you liked it and please leave a review. How will this continue, you will read in an couple of days! Leave a review! _**

**_xx Leonie_**


	15. One Step At The Time

_**So here it is Finally! :O it took me a while to write this chapter. Trying to figure out, where i wanted to go with this story. But i tell you now. I have it all figured out. New i idea's. So be prepared to for some twist in the near future :D**_

_**Anyways. Tx for all the new followers and new reviews I seriously love you guys! :)**_

_**Enjoy your reading guys! **_

* * *

**Tony's apartment**

As much as Tony wanted to continue this. He had to break their kiss, before he ran out of air and because he was confused by her action. He pulled back. Both breathing heavy, they looked at each other.

''I guess you have figured out what I meant by it?'' Ziva asked Tony, between catching her breath.

''Yes I did'' Tony said. ''Not that I am complaining or anything.. but I thought you weren't ready''

''I have changed my mind, after you had said all those things, how you felt about me when I wasn't around. Then I knew for sure, the voice was telling lies and I couldn't hold myself back anymore'' Ziva explained.

''I meant every word of it'' Tony said

''I know that'' She said. She pulled him back on her and kissed him again. He loved the feeling of her warm lips and he didn't realize what he was doing, before he did it and his hands were under her shirt. He felt the uneven skin. One place smooth and soft and others places were rough on long lines, down her back.

He pulled back and sat back on the couch looking at her. ''Ziva.. How did you..'' He couldn't asked.

Ziva knew what he was going to ask. ''Tony. I did not make those scars. Saleem and others made them. I cannot hurt myself on my back. I am not that flexible''

Tony looked at her. ''I'm sorry.. I didn't...'' Tony stumbled over his words. Not knowing what to say.

''Tony. It's okay. It's not your fault'' She knew so well what he thought.

''I sure feel like it'' Tony sad lowering his head a little.

''No it isn't. You were protecting yourself'' Ziva reassured him. ''I saw the camera footage, once I was ready to see it. The way Michael fought, I was sure, he would have killed you, but it took a weird turn and you defended yourself with your gun. What happened after that wasn't your fault either. I was the one who did not return with you, and i was the one who went to Somalia. I didn't believe you. I should have, then this would never had happened''

Tony was surprised that she had seen their fight on camera. ''We can't speak of 'what if'. _If_ you had believe me, _this..'' _He cut his words off and kissed her for a moment. ''Maybe, would have never happened'' He finished and Ziva gave him a sad smile. ''And I know that then, Saleem would have never happened. But all our actions have consequences, and you took the worst I could ever think about''

''I don't want to talk about that anymore, Tony'' She stopped him.

''Right. I'm sorry''

Ziva hit his arm. ''Would you stop apologizing. Gibbs is going to freak out about, breaking rule 12 together, when he hears that you have broke rule 6 more than 10 times this evening...'' She joked.

''I'm dead, I know'' He joked back. ''so...''

''What is it that you want to ask Tony?'' Ziva caught his nervousness.

''What is it exactly what _you _want? I mean what do we call... this?'' He wiggled his finger between him and Ziva.

She thought for a moment. ''What I want is the way we were before Michael happened—''

Tony felt his heart drop. Before Michael happened, they flirted yes, but it was nothing more than that. ''Ziva—'' He wanted to speak.

''Wait Tony'' She cut him off. ''You didn't let me finish. I want it that way... but with.. telling each other how we _really _feel... more hugs.. holding hands... kissing... later on.. a little more than kissing...'' She felt a blush appear on her cheeks. She was not used to speaking like and about it this way. She heard Tony holding back a chuckle. ''I want _this_'' She now wiggled her finger between him and her. ''To be 'In a relationship' but... It just takes me time. I do not have the best best luck if it comes to relationships and I am not just talking about Michael''

Tony frowned inside his head about that. ''_Where is she talking about then_?'' He thought. He didn't know any other boyfriends while she worked at NCIS. That means she was talking about her life before NCIS. The life that she never spoke one word— letter about. Well only just a couple of days ago, about her father, who didn't agree on anything she wanted to do. But for the rest it was about Ari.

''I'm just afraid'' She continued, bringing him out of his thoughts. ''What if doesn't work out, by anything?''

'' Again, what I said before. You can't life, with 'what if' controlling your life Ziva. You know what. We just take it one step at the time. Just being there for each other like we always did, only now knowing and telling how we really feel and a little more of this'' He said and kissed her gently on her lips.

She smiled against his lips and pulled away. ''Sound like a plan'' She said. He smiled back at her.

The rest of the afternoon and evening went steady. The way Tony distracted Ziva, was so good for her. The voice didn't appear in his presence, she was not afraid anymore, when he was around. And somehow it only made her more afraid, thinking about, when she would go home in a week.

How would the voice react, when she is left alone? Her mind was telling her that she didn't have to go home. _''Simply ask Tony if you can stay a little longer'' _She thought. If only she had the courage to do that.

…**..**

**The next day, 8:15 am**

Tony woke up. His arms were wrapped around Ziva's waist and his body was in sync with hers, spooning her. His face was in her neck and the smell of her hair, made him smile. So sweet and so soft. He felt her stir in his grip and his smile grew wider.

''Good morning'' He said softly still sleepy.

''_Gosh. That voice is so sexy'' _Ziva thought and smiled. ''Good morning'' she murmured, she turned in his arms and their faces were inches apart.

Tony cleared his throat so that his voice sounded better. ''What do you want to do today?'' He asked, not knowing exactly what to do.

''I want to show you something, but it's in mine apartment'' Ziva said hesitant.

Tony narrowed his eyes. Not sure of what to think of it. ''_What is it?_''

Ziva read his expression and smiled. ''It's something important for me, Tony''

Tony loosened the grip around her and sat up more. Ziva rested her elbow onn the bed and her head in her hand. She looked at him.

Tony saw that whatever it was, she was telling the truth about the ''It's important'' part. ''Okay. Just let me make breakfast and you go shower. We head out after I'm done with my shower. That is, if you let any hot water left of course'' He said and gave her a kiss on her cheek, before getting out of bed and walking out of the bedroom, only wearing boxers and sweatpants.

She caught herself looking at his body and butt as he walked away and shook her head with a smile. She let herself fall back on the pillow and looked at the ceiling. Ziva felt peaceful, for the first time months. She uncovered herself from beneath the blankets, she hold onto tightly, everynight, because it smelled like him.

She walked to the bathroom and switch on the familiar lights.

**...**

**15 minutes later**

After Ziva was finished in the bathroom and got dressed, she walked into the kitchen, pulling her hair into a high ponytail.

''Ah, our Miss David. Lovely that you could join us'' Tony said, as he turned from the stove and placed pancakes onto the plate on the counter.

''Thank you. How could I not. Your pancakes are better than I have tasted in many years'' She told him and set down on the stool. She took in the sent of the meal in front of her and then began to eat.

''I'm going to shower'' Tony announced with a smile and went into the bedroom. Ziva set there, enjoying her meal. In just one week time, they had fallen in a routine and it felt like, they lived together for many years. loving his presence.

Then suddenly she let her fork fall onto her almost empty plate. Her head felt heavy and the sounds around her, washer and dryer running, Tony singing in the shower, it all went away. Which meant only one thing and it horrified Ziva to know what it was. ''No no no... please no'' Ziva thought to herself. ''_Oh.. yes yes yes, Ziva. You thought I would go away that easily? Well, of course you think that. The lovely Tony DiNozzo is around all the time. But you have to go home someday right? And than I have you all for myself again_'' The voice within her spoke up. ''_I have noticed something. The marks and burns are going away a little. Maybe it's time for something new. Things you have done in the last couple of days, I don't appreciate them, you know'' _

''Please just leave me alone'' Ziva begged in whisper to herself, hoping she could control her body. ''_No, that would ruin all of the fun, I didn't have that in a long time, Ziva_'' The voice told her. Ziva looked down at the knife she was holding and as much at she did not want to she had no control of her hand any more. The knife slowly went to her arm, that had a sleeve pulled up already. She protested, but it didn't work. ''_Just a little more dear Ziva'' _The voice said, causing Ziva to let falls tears of her failure and did the only thing that she could come up with.

''TONY!'' She yelled with the fear clearly in her voice. ''Tony, please help me!'' She was so desperate.

Tony was just in the middle of singing his Sound of Music medley, when he heard Ziva's voice yelling his name. For a moment he wasn't sure if he heard it right. But when he heard her voice again, sounding afraid, full of fear. It took him only a second to turn off his shower and wrapping a towel around his waist. Not bothering to dry himself off he sprinted out of the bathroom, through the bedroom, into the living room and to the kitchen.

''Ziva! Ziva what's wro—'' Tony called for her.

The moment he came into the kitchen he froze at the sight. Ziva looked at him, her eyes filled with tears, begging for help, while she was struggling with her hand, trying to get it away from her arm, which did not work that good and she didn't let it go. Tony snapped into action and walked over to her. He grabbed the knife, feeling the resistance for a moment, before he managed to get it out of Ziva's hand and throwing it into the sink.

His first instinct after that was lowering himself a little and wrapping his arms around Ziva, who gratefully accepted the hug.

''I'm so sorry Ziva. I'm sorry. I didn't think about leaving you here alone with the knife'' Tony said into her hair.

''It's not fair, Tony'' She cried against his shoulder. ''I should be able to be left alone in here in the kitchen, while you take a shower. How can I go home, where you won't be, and life there without hurting myself?''

Tony's heart sank by her saying that. He didn't want her to go home. He wanted her close. Not only so he could protect her, but also because he just wanted her to be by his sight. He loved it. The smell of her hair and clothes, her perfume. The way she is when she is not worrying about the voice. The way she opened up to him. She was still his ninja, but she showed that she was so much more than that, now. She was beginning to show the real Ziva David, and he felt himself falling more and more for that person.

''We will figure it out Ziva. You will be better. It just takes time and a lot of talking to Rachel. She's going to help you'' Tony reassured her he pulled away and looked her in the eyes. Putting a strand of hair behind her ear, he smiled softly. ''I'll be there whenever you need me. Even when you are at home, just a phone call away'' He said and she smiled too. It took him a moment. ''Or.. you just could stay a little longer, while we go to work Monday. Taking it one step at the time'' He half stated and half asked.

She looked at him surprised, but it really was just what she wanted. ''Are we going to tell Gibbs?'' She asked with a smile, not answering his quite yet.

''What would we tell him?'' Tony asked.

''That we broke rule 12?'' she said using a 'Duh!' sound in her voice.

''We never broke rule 12'' Tony stated and shook his head.

''Tony, we kissed several time! We are more than just friends, are you denying that now?''

''Ziva. Would you care to rephrase rule 12?'' Tony asked with a smile.

Ziva frowned at his weird question. ''_Where is he getting at?'' _She thought, but then she sighed. ''You should never date a coworker. Tony you are again not making any sense'' She said.

''Ziva, I never took you on a date yet'' Tony pointed out. ''So technally we never broke rule 12 yet''

Ziva widened her eyes as she registered the truth of that. Than she gave him a teasing smile. ''I'm sure youare going to ask me on a date, in the future''

''Yes I am, but only when you are better and after I talked to Gibbs'' Tony explained. ''He knows how I feel about you''

''He does?'' Ziva acted surprised. But really she wasn't surprised. Gibbs knew everything. ''And he didn't kill you yet?''

Tony chuckled. ''No way. I think deep down, he sees me as he dysfunctional son''

''You are dysfunctional alright'' Ziva laughed. ''But I like that about you'' She said before she realized it.

''Wow'' Tony gasped. ''I never had expected, that you were so straight forward''

''It was not really planned'' Ziva said somewhat embarrassed.

''Well, miss David. I would like to say that we are on the same page than'' Tony said and kissed her. With his lips meeting hers, Ziva's embarrassment, flew away and she smiled against his lips when he spoke again. ''I really like you too, Ziva'' And he kissed her more deep. Ziva chuckled when she notices something. Tony pulled away. ''What?''

Ziva gave him an evil smirk. ''_How could he not have noticed'' _She thought. ''Uhm Tony.. Your towel has lowered just a.. little bit''

Tony looked down with wide eyes. ''Oh Shit!'' He said as he noticed it wasn't 'just a little bit', but his towel had fully fallen onto the ground. He grabbed it as fast as he could and put it in front of him again. ''You uhm... saw any of it?'' He asked a little uncomfortable.

''Oooh yes'' She said with a teasing tone and she saw his face expression, she enjoyed this so much. ''It's not the worst, that I have seen'' She said and winked at Tony.

Tony could only look at her. He was so glad, that the old Ziva, was showing again a little. But he also enjoyed the new things he was learning about her. The mix of the old and the new Ziva was just.. _perfect _for him.

''I'm going to put some clothes on'' Was the only thing he could say. ''And then we are going to your place'' He announced.

He went into his bedroom again, totally forgetting that the towel was now only covering his front and not his back side. Ziva couldn't hold back the grin that was spread across her face.

* * *

_**So that was it for this chapter! i really hope you like it. Please care to leave a review. And AGAIN i'm sorry if there are any grammar problems. i do not have a beta, because i don't know anyone out of my family who knows that i write. i don't let my family read what i write for some reason i don't know. :s**_

_**But please leave me a review! I love them :)**_

_**X- Leonie**_


	16. Memories Are At Home

_**So here Chapter 16, lads and Gets! :D I really hope you like it. Now i will nog upload this any further before i have uploaded a Chapter on my other Story of my ''Chronicles of NCIS'' 'Lost and Found'' Check it out if you have the time :D**_

_**Anyways... Thanks to all the lovely reviews and the new followers! :D i seriously love you guys. **_

_**Enjoy your reading! :)**_

* * *

**Ziva's apartment 6:30 pm**

Ziva unlocked the door of her almost forgotten apartment. She stepped in and then let in Tony before closing the door behind him. Tony looked around. The apartment was now cleaned again and there were not trails of the fight he had so many months ago. Though Ziva had returned here after Somalia, it didn't feel like she had been living here. It was not a home anymore.

As they walked into the living room, Tony eyes fell on the the photo of Ziva, Ari and Tali, the one he had knocked over during the fight with Michael.

''Ziva I'm sorry about breaking stuff in here. I hope I did not do permanent damage to anything'' Tony apologized.

''No _you _didn't Tony. I have saved and recovered everything you had broke, while _defending yourself_'' She pointed out once again. ''_Why can't he just, give himself a break!_''

''I love the photo by the way'' Tony said pointing at the one his attention was to.

Ziva smiled, after following his gaze and finger and landed on the photo with her and her siblings. ''Yes I was 10 I think, Ari not older than 13 and Tali 4'' She explained, grabbing it and sitting down on her couch.

''You were right'' Tony stated, while he sat down next to her.

''I am always right'' She joked. She saw that Tony wasn't responding to it and kept staring at the picture. She frowned. ''But I would like to know about what''

''That Ari was not always that monster that has killed Kate. The boy standing there, embracing you with a smile and those eyes, is not the same person, that man, we have chased and Gibbs has killed, because he had killed Kate''

The words hit her. ''_Gibbs has killed.._'' At some point he had to know what really had happened, but would that be this moment, she was considering it, bt that hold back her words.

''It's exactly what I wanted to let you see. I wanted to let you know that we were once innocent. I don't know what happened that changed Ari into a monster, but I now know I have lost my brother long before...'' She trailed off. She had not realized she was making that sentence before almost blurting out that she had killed her brother.

''I know already Ziva'' Tony spoke. ''I know it wasn't Gibbs''

Ziva jerked her gaze from the picture and met his green eyes, looking at her softly, full of understanding. It was so confusing. ''You know? You know that...'' She trailed of in disbelieve.

''I know that you were the one shooting Ari. Yes'' He concluded.

''How did you know?'' She asked.

''You know I had the order from Gibbs to follow you, so.. I followed you'' He began to explain. ''My heart raced a little, thinking of what you were going to do at Gibbs's house. I watched from my car. And I heard a gunshot I almost wanted to come in. Then I saw Gibbs through the window, coming into his living room, with no gun and you were still downstairs. After I heard that Ari was dead, I knew Gibbs wasn't the one to shot him''

''Why haven't you said anything?'' Ziva asked, her voice full of surprise.

''I trusted you, like Gibbs did. You needed to be ready. I didn't know it would you take 3 years, to be ready'' Tony explained.

''Thank you, for waiting'' She honestly told him.

They sat there in silence as Ziva turned her eyes back to the photo. She smiled at the memories that flew into her head, about her childhood. Surely, Eli had always been strict and he was not good at punishing them with 'time-outs' or talking things out. He preferred using his hand more often. But the the memories she had with her siblings, could also brighten the room, with their innocence.

''Do you have more of them?'' Tony asked softly. Ziva looked up to him, not quite catching his words, as she was jerked back to reality. ''More photos, I mean'' He cleared out.

''Ah yes'' She said and walked into her bedroom. ''You have told many things about you in the last view days. I wanted to share some of my childhood'' Her voice came from the bedroom as Tony waited patiently. After a few minutes Ziva came out with a box, that looked like a treasure chest. It even had a lock on it, so that no one except Ziva could open it. She sit down next to him again and set the chest on the coffee table.

''I have not opened this box since the day I shot Ari. I wanted to forget it all. But now I know that it is wrong'' Ziva explained. Tony didn't speak. Ziva took that as a sign and began to unlock the box with a a small key.

As she opened it. There was so much in there. Photo's of the family, ponytails from first haircuts. A little cloth with the initials R.V. on it. Hospital bracelets, shoe laces of Tali's ballet shoes. So much small things that remembered and brought her back, to the family she one was, now feeling that there was no family left, because she had _dumped _her father after coming back in D.C. Back home.

The first thing Ziva picked out of it was the cloth, that used to be her mothers. Smelled it and remembered exactly what her mother smelled like, as the perfume and shampoo of her mother was sprayed on it. It was like hugging Rivka over and over again.

''Do you remember what your mother smelled like, Tony?'' Ziva asked. She met his eyes, the ones that were staring at the opened box, now were staring into her eyes.

''I uh.. I do'' Tony began hesitant. But the look in Ziva's eyes told him, he could trust her as much as he told her she could trust him. He smiled. ''Every time, when I used to come home on Friday. Mom was busy making these amazing apple pie. The house was surrounded with the sent. And it would always stay on her short, so even on other days when she was not making apple pie, the sent would automatically come onto her clothes anyways and when I hugged her goodnight I always smelled it'' Tony told her.

It was maybe the first time, that Ziva heard something about Tony's mother. He talked about how his father had treated him, in his childhood and he had mentioned that his mom had died when he was eight, but no words or stories would follow.

''My mom helped in a store where they would sell all sorts of perfume'' Ziva began. ''When she got home she would always smell like all sorts, combined and I hated it! But than, after she had showered, she would pick one and she wore that every night and I took it in, when she gave me a goodnight kiss'' She smiled at held out the cloth. ''Smell it!''

Tony hesitated at first, but then he grabbed it from her. He took it to his nose, but even 3 inches away from it, he could already smell the light strawberry sent. He smiled. ''Smells like your shampoo'' He stated.

Ziva looked at him surprised but then remembered the the day she had come to him and he just hold her and being close to her. After Somalia, she used a little more shampoo than necessary, but Tony seemed to enjoy it.

Tony laid the cloth back in there and grabbed the Ponytail. ''How long was your hair before you cut it short?'' He said as she was holding the tail, that if it was still on her hair, would reach her 'cute dimples on her lower back' As Tony would describe the area.

''Not that long. I think as long as it is now. So my hair would reach just above my shoulders, when I would cut this length again'' Ziva explain and waited for a moment before speaking again. ''I is not all mine though. Tali and I had the same long hair and we cut it off on the same time. She had the idea to put the two tails together, so that it would be combined as one'' She smiled at the memory.

''sound like a very smart girl'' Tony told her honestly.

''She was. The smartest of us all and most brightest person I know. Always a step ahead of me, as I tried to be the bigger sister for her, after Ari left''

''I wish I had a sister of brother, before I joined NCIS. Making friends was not my strongest quality.

''I'm glad that I have found a family again. Papa Gibbs, sister Abby and big brother Timmy. Of course grandpa Ducky and cousin Palmer'' Ziva chuckled.

''And me?'' Tony noticed she was forgetting him.

''You are so much more for me Tony. I can't thank you enough to be so childish, stubborn, gentle, caring, strong and just be there for me'' She said.

Tony wrapped one arm around her waist. Pulling her into his side and kissing her temple gently. Silence overwhelming him and he spoke, before he couldn't resist her anymore.

''Was Ari a big brother for you?'' He asked, wanting to know more about him, even thought he had killed Kate.

''Yes. He was very protective of me. A little too, as I remember. He had slammed a boy to the ground when I was 12, because he kissed my temple, the same way, you did just now. ''He Is too.. _This.._He is too _that. _Ari always made excuses for me to end it with them. After that didn't work anymore he tried to scare them away, saying how ''Ninja crazy'' I was'' Ziva laughed.

Tony's hand found hers on the bed and she enjoyed the reassuring squeeze he gave her. ''Sounds like a great brother, even helping you to go to you swim training and all'' Tony remembered.

''He was the best Tony. And I hate that at a day I saw him turn into someone else. Someone, who was not my brother. I hurts me everyday that I didn't know what to do, being his control officer and still missing things. Sometimes I think that I should have known, than Kate would not have died'' Ziva said. Tony wiped the not planned tears from her cheeks.

''Oh Ziva. Don't think that'' Tony's heart broke and he now wrapped his other arm also around her. ''I was broken when Kate died you, I lost a sister just like you did. But we can't blame ourselves for it. You had taught me that, with Jenny. Now I'm learning it to you''

''It's a great lesson'' Ziva said and the silence fell over them again. Ziva looked over to the a photo of her and Tali and her mother, that was still lying in the box. It was the top one of so much more private photo's she had of her old family. ''Tony?'' She asked

Tony heard her hesitation and loosened his grip a little. ''Yes, Ninja?'' He asked.

Ziva hold back the chuckle for the nickname. ''This week is almost over yes? And you have to go back to work''

''That's the plan, yes. Gibbs can't handle it without me _and _you. But you will stay home for as much time as you need'' Tony explained.

''Does the offer of staying with you a little longer still stand?'' She asked.

Tony grew a grin. ''Of course, Ziva. I would love too''

''Thank you. And Tony?'' She asked again.

''hmm'' Tony murmured, enjoying holding her so much.

''Can I take this box with me? I have missed it'' Ziva asked, still looking at it.

''Of course, Ziva. What ever you need'' He told her. That moment Ziva pulled out of her embrace. Tony felt her warmth go away and missed it in a instant. ''Where are you going?''

''Taking... _Whatever I need_'' Ziva turned and smiled at him then turned back and walked into the living room. It didn't take long for Tony to follow her.

Tony found Ziva in front the bathroom door and she just stood there, without opening it. ''Ziva? You okay?''

''I'm f—'' Ziva cut herself off. ''I can't go in there Tony'' She admitted.

''Why not? You have gone in there all the time'' Tony was confused.

''You will figure it out since you get in there. Please.. just get my shampoo and \other stuff'' Ziva almost begged and held out a little bag for toiletries

''Okay. Okay. Calm down. I'll go'' Tony said and grabbed the bag. ''_What was that about?'' _He thought and now stood infront of the bathroom, no knowing what to expect. He felt Ziva step away and he opened the door to the bathroom and walked inside.

No. This was defiantly not what he was expecting. Everywhere he looked, there laid empty lighters and candles, that had been on, several times. On the mirror where the words ''Damaged Goods'' written with lipstick and towels now dirty dried out towels with blood and creme fluid, where all over the place, next to disinfection cloths.

Tony swallowed hard and walked in and grabbed as fast as he could everything, what he could think off, that she needed. He wasn't sure about the make up, that he picked, but he liked the color and Ziva wouldn't have it if she didn't use it, right? Even though she does not wear make up that often. Some lotion, shampoo, shower cream.

He couldn't believe that Abby had not bring it, with her except for a toothbrush and clothes. Ziva had spent a week, using his shampoo and didn't say anything about it.

Once done. He went back to the living room and found Ziva sitting nervously on the couch. He placed the bag, on the table next to the front door and walked over to her, to sit on the coffee table in front of her.

''Ziva?'' He asked, not finding her eyes to meet his ''Ziva. If you want I can clean the bathroom and throw out all of it'' No respond. ''_Great_'' He thought. Ziva face was pale and was blank, staring at a point on a wall, behind Tony.

''_There is a reason that you came back here Ziva'' _the voice spoke up. ''_You're weaker here. This is where you must... hurt... where I have control. I want you to go in that bathroom and find a lighter that works'' _The voice.

''No!'' Ziva yelled in her head. She didn't want to. She needed help. But she couldn't bring out any emotion, no word. No letter or a shriek.

''_Oh yes! Ziva_'' The voice said. And Ziva wanted to stand up.

Tony knew he had lost her to the voice at some point and held her down, placing both his hands gently, but firm around her wrist and holding them on the couch. Ziva said nothing, but struggled against his grip. This was bad. Tony knew it and he couldn't hold her for much longer. His Ninja was strong.

He did the only thing that came up in his mind and replaced his hansd from her wrists onto her cheeks and crashed his lips onto hers.

Ziva's mind was racing and the voice didn't speak anymore. It took her a few seconds to come back to reality and noticing that tony was kissing her. He did not pull away, determined that this was he would get her back to him. And it worked. He was glad when he felt Ziva's arms wrapping around his neck, pulling him down and her kissing him back.

Tony smiled and pulled away. Ziva looked at him ashamed.

''Welcome back Ninja'' Tony said to her with a grin.

''Thanks for... kissing me'' Ziva said softly.

''Anytime you will let me, Ziva'' Tony stated. And it was true. He could kiss her every second of ever hour of the day. But he knew Ziva was still processing it all, as she didn't want it to go so fast.

Ziva didn't realized her words slipped, before she had said it. ''Can we go home?'' She asked Tony.

''_Home?'' _Tony thought. ''_My home is home for her_'' He grinned. ''Yes, Let's go home'' He said.

Tony took Ziva's hand and pulled her off the couch. For a moment he wanted to release, because he wasn't sure she was up to it, but he felt her finger intertwine with his and squeezing gently. That's when he remembered, that she wanted this, just as much as he did. ''_She's only a little scared, Tony'' _He told himself.

Holding hands together, they walked out of her apartment to go _home. _

* * *

_**So The week is almost over and i will skip the weekend between this chap and the next chapter. To keep it going i guess! :)**_

_**Like i said i will first continue my other story. ''Chronicles of NCIS 2: Lost and Found'' Before posting this next chapter. Feel free to check it out!**_

_**Hope you liked it. Tell me what you think of it in a review i love them you know ;) **_

_**-X- Leonie**_


	17. Bullpen Conversations

_**So here's the newest chapter :D thanks for all the lovely reviews! i am glad that you are enjoying this :D **_

_**so anyways nothing else to say so... Enjoy your reading!**_

* * *

**2 days later, Monday morning, Tony's bedroom, 5:45 am**

Ziva was contently lying on Tony's quite small bed. She loved the fact that he had wrapped his arms protectively around her and she could feel him breathing into her neck. She thought back to Saturday afternoon when she had her second appointment with Rachel. At some point Rachel had asked Tony to leave for a moment, so she could talk to Ziva alone.

_''So Ziva. Now that Tony's not longer in the room. What is your feeling right now?'' Rachel asked her. _

_Ziva thought for moment, but knew that somehow Rachel was very trustworthy. ''I'm waiting for It to come..'' She said quietly. Rachel looked at her. ''the voice I mean'' She cleared out. _

_''I see. Do you have any idea, how it comes that when Tony's around, that you don't seem to hear it?'' _

_''Tony distracts me. He helped me, he's there all the time'' Ziva explained. ''But you already knew that'' _

_''I knew that yes. Have you thought about the fact that you can't always rely on him to be there. You have a home of your own. You have to go back sooner or later'' Rachel told her._

_''No I don't'' Ziva said coldly. _

_''Ziva—'' Rachel wanted to start. _

_''I don't want to be away from him. And that is not only because he helps me with this'' Ziva said, not looking at Rachel at this point. _

_It took Rachel only a couple of seconds and than she smiled. ''You like him'' _

_''Yes'' Ziva sighed. Why was it so hard, not to say too much to this woman? ''It was long before all this started, only just realized it. But next to that. He distract me with fun. Doing things together, than in my head has no place, for the voice'' _

_''Tony's going back to NCIS on Monday right?'' Rachel asked. Ziva nodded. ''Are you afraid of how it will be?'' _

_''A little. But being in his apartment, also helps. And if something would happen, I told him, that I would call him'' _

_''About what you told me about Somalia'' Rachel began and Ziva's eyes showed a little fear. ''Does Tony touching you, does it scare you?'' _

_Ziva took a deep breath, closing her eyes at that moment and opened them again. ''Yes it does sometimes. Mostly when he puts me of guard. But when I'm... away.. in my thoughts with the voice. His touch only helps. But if not, it startles me'' _

_''Does he have any difficulties with that?'' Rachel asked. _

_''No'' Ziva smiled. ''He's very gentle. More than I had ever thought about him. I lay my boundaries and when its becomes to much, I say it and he pulls back'' _

_''That sounds like a great boyfriend'' Rachel stated with a smile._

_''Boyfriend? I have never considered him that way yet'' Ziva thought. _

_The sudden silence and the way Ziva looke,d Rachel noted that as that Ziva was in her thoughts and was not sure what to think of it ''Any sign of the voice yet?''_

_''No'' Ziva smiled. ''Just thinking about your words. That's good right?''_

_''Yes it is. But just leave your guards up and tell me when it changes'' Rachel said and she continued her questioning. _

The sound of a load buzz, jerked her back to reality. Still with her eyes closed she found the alarm and slammed it hard so that the annoying sound would stop. She heard a chuckle from behind her.

''I hate that sound'' Ziva growled.

''That's weird from someone who's always up this early in the morning'' Tony's sleepy voice spoke.

_''His morning voice, never gets old.. so sexy'' _Ziva thought. ''I was up before the alarm went off'' Ziva explained.

''Okay'' Tony said and he tightened his grip around her.

''Tony..'' Ziva.

''hmm?'' Tony asked unable to make a word.

''Please. Let go'' She asked, the fear in her voice growing.

Tony got it and let go a soon as he could. He sat up and looked at Ziva who laid still and not moving. He only saw her chest rising and falling a little too fast for his liking. ''Zeev? Are you okay? I'm sorry. I didn't think, while doing it. I—''

Ziva slowly moved and sat against the headboard. ''I's fine, Tony'' She told him.

''Ziva. Look at your reaction. It's not fine. I did this to you'' Tony said, worried. He wanted to hug her again, but resisted the urge, because he knew she did not want his touch, right now.

''It's okay'' She breathed deep. Tony saw her calming down. ''It's fine, really'' She reassured him.

''Okay.. good. Thanks for telling me. I didn't think about it. It's early and I just love to have you so close''

''Would you stop apologizing?!'' She countered suddenly. ''You are not doing anything wrong and I love it too. Just.. when it's sudden.. it.. just.. sometimes brings me.. back... to Somalia. For just only a second'' Ziva explained.

Tony swallowed a block on this throat. ''Just tell me anytime, when it happens''

''I will'' She smiled. Tony looked at her, not sure of what to do now. ''Just to be clear I love having you close too, Tony. It makes me feel save. Just don't surprise me with it... yet'' She explained.

''Okay'' He smiled. ''Can I kiss you now?''

''Of course'' She agreed. Before Tony had to the chance to come to her, she came towards him and she kissed him instead, carefully, yet so willing. Before it could deepen, she pulled away. ''You need to start changing. Gibbs will not be okay with you being late. He thinks I'm at home''

''You're okay with being alone?'' Tony asked.

''You have hidden everything that could possibly hurt me. I can't even make lunch or breakfast. You have made it last night. All cold eatable food, so that I do not have to warm it. I will be fine, I promise. I will just hang around'' Ziva reassured him.

''Okay. But I will check on you, every hour'' Tony stated, pointing a finger to her.

Ziva rolled her eyes. ''Yes, daddy'' She said with a grin.

''Ew! Don't do that! Thinking of me as your father. You kissing me like that, while saying daddy.. I just ew!'' Tony shook his body at the thought. ''Truly disgusting''

Ziva laughed. ''Go shower Tony'' she ordered. He smiled and walked over to the bathroom. Ziva plopped back on her pillow and looked up to the ceiling. She shook her head with a smile. ''_Oh boy, what did I got into?_'' she asked herself.

For the first time in her life, she really didn't want to run in the morning. She curled up again and balled the blankets into her hand, pulling them close to her. She took in the sent of it, which smelled entirely like Tony's cologne, shampoo, body wash and his natural smell. She loved it. It didn't take her more that 5 minutes to drift off again.

…**..**

**NCIS HQ, 6:45 am**

For the first time in a very long time, Tony was earlier at work than Gibbs or McGee. Somehow he liked the idea. He now could play tetris a little bit longer, before getting head slapped. But first he had to check in on Ziva.

When he exited the bathroom earlier, he had found her asleep again. He had given her a kiss on the forehead. Grabbed some sort of breakfast shake and was gone off to work.

Tony sat down on his chair behind his desk, while placing his bag next to him. He grabbed his phone and dialed his home number. It went over a couple of times before it was answered.

''_Hello, Tony's house?_'' Ziva answered, with a sleepy voice.

''Answering my phone already Ziva? You must feel at home'' Tony grinned although she couldn't see it.

''_Why are you calling Tony?_'' Ziva asked. She was tired and ignored his joking.

''Just checking on how you are. Heard the voice yet?'' He asked.

''_I'm fine Tony. I did not hear the voice yet. I have an question though_'' Ziva reassured him.

''And that my be?'' Tony was curious.

''_Can I use your laptop for my checking my emails?_'' Ziva asked him.

''Uhm. Yeah sure. Just emails right?'' Tony hesitated

''_Yeah, maybe for some music. I'm pretty sure you don't have my kind of music_'' Ziva's voice became more audible, sleep getting away from her body.

''I bought you a CD remember? Still in the stereo'' Tony argued.

''_True. Do you have something on you laptop or something you dont want me to see?_'' Ziva she teased.

''No I'm not hiding anything! Use it. Do whatever you want with it. Just.. don't break it'' Tony said.

''_I won't Tony, I promise that_'' Ziva said. Tony could here her walking around the house. Before he could talk again, he heard the elevator door say his *Ding* and he changed his mind.

''Call me if you need anything, okay?'' He asked instead.

''_I will Tony. Thanks and bye_'' Ziva said and she clicked him away.

When Tony put the phone back on the desk, Gibbs marched into the bullpen. He stood in front of Tony's desk and looked at him, while sipping his coffee.

''What?'' Tony asked, not sure what to say.

''You are here early'' Gibbs stated.

''Yeah... my alarm, was still on Ziva time'' Tony truly said.

''How is she?'' Gibbs asked, while walking to his own desk and sat down behind it.

Tony stood up, as if he was giving information on a case and now stood in front of Gibbs's desk. ''She's uh, making slow progress. Not as good as I hoped. Still a long way to go''

''Baby steps'' Gibbs concluded. Tony nodded. ''You worried, that she's now home alone?''

Tony smiled inside. Gibbs thought Ziva was at her own apartment. He didn't know about the deal he and Ziva had made Friday night. ''As long she has an distraction, she's dealing a lot better. Why can't she just come and work?'' Tony asked and frowned, just now thinking of it.

''Obviously, she couldn't find the right distraction here. She need to find that first'' Gibbs explained. ''Is she seeing anyone?''

''What? No! Ziva's isn't dating again!'' tony laughed at the idea, nervously.

''I was talking about a shrink, DiNozzo'' Gibbs cleared out.

''Oh. Then yes. She's seeing Rachel Cranston'' Tony said

Gibbs raised his eyebrows. ''Kate's sister? You think that's a good idea?''

''Rachel knows who I am and also knows everything about Ziva. She's dealing well with it and I really have the idea that's she is willing to and is helping Ziva'' Tony explained.

''Alright then'' Gibbs. ''How are you holding up?''

''A little tired boss. But I would do anything to help Ziva. You know that'' Tony told him

''I do. But right now, we still have a case'' Gibbs said and gave him a file. ''Start reading in. I want you to find out everything about this 'Lenard Green' guy, bank records, phone calls, house, work. McGee will help you when he comes in'' Gibbs said.

''On it Boss'' Tony said

…**..**

**NCIS HQ 16:12 pm**

The case was finally done. They had caught the killer, even though they didn't really wanted to arrest her. It was a 17 year old girl he had murdered her stepmother, because she was abusing her. Tony tried to joke his frustration of with jokes about fairy tails where stepmothers were always the bad guys, but even with that, everyone was just bumped.

After a fifth time hanging up on Ziva, Tony returned back on his work. Gibbs was gone down to Labby, to see everything was alright with her and now Tony and McGee were only on the bull pen, making the paperwork for the case.

''So... How's she doing?'' McGee asked. He too was worried. McGee only didn't show it that well, as the others.

Tony sighed. ''She is hearing 'it' again. She handling it pretty well and calls when it's overwhelming her. But so far so good'' He explained.

''These last week, had a pretty big effect on you, didn't it?''

''Yeah, probie. It has'' Tony leaned back in his chair, ignoring the eye roll of his friend.

''You uh.. have talked about what happened in Somalia?'' McGee asked hesitant.

''Yes. And no I don't want to talk about it. Trust me Tim. You don't even want to know'' Tony told him.

A silence of working people fell over them for moment before McGee spoke again. ''How come that I feel like, that you are not telling me something?'' He asked.

Tony sighed. ''_Why did probie have to be so good at his job?_'' He thought. ''I don't know McNosy!'' He snapped.

''Okay, now I definitely know that there's something, that you're not telling me'' McGee concluded and crossed his arms over his chest. ''Spill it, DiNozzo''

''Okay! Okay. Just stay quiet and promise me that you keep your freaking mouth shut!'' Tony hissed to him.

McGee raised his eyebrows. ''Tony? What did you do?'' He asked. McGee turned in his chair rolled it over to Tony's desk.

Tony took a deep breath before spilling his guts, when he really didn't have a choice. If he kept this from him, than probie would tell it to Gibbs. That was something his was not ready for yet. ''Okay... Ziva kissed me before the weekend'' He said quietly.

McGee's eyes widened. He couldn't possibly heard that right, could he? ''W.. What?'' He asked in disbelieve.

''She kissed me. And I kissed her'' Tony cleared.

''Did you guys... you know?'' McGee wanted to know.

''What? No! I have respect McGee! Ziva is not ready, especially because of Somalia. She's even afraid sometimes when I hug her'' Tony couldn't believe his friend just asked that.

''Sorry. So what are you now?'' McGee asked.

''I don't know. Its all very complicated'' Tony shook his head.

''Always has been between you two, Tony'' McGee stated. Tony gave him a glare. ''What else are you keeping from us, Tony'' He said.

''Uhm.. Ziva's kinda.. still in my house''

McGee had the urge to raise his voice, but he kept is in a whispering his ''What?! Tony are you crazy?''

''It's not only because of that. Ziva's afraid to go home. It reminds her of.. things and my home does not so much'' Tony explained, awkwardly.

McGee gave him a smirk. ''Are you not making this Tony/Ziva thing a bit to good?''

''There is nothing good about her being afraid McGee! Have you ever seen Ziva afraid?''

''No..'' He said quietly.

''Believe me, McBrother. You don't want to see it'' Tony assured him.

''Okay. Tell you what. You go home after you have made some of the paper work. I will do a part of your paper work and after I'm finished i'll will come to your place with pizza, which I'll will get money from you to buy'' McGee suggested.

Tony thought about it for a moment. ''_McGee hasn't seen Ziva a lot in this past week. He's worried, just like the others. Ziva's like a little sister to him. She said it herself too. Plus no paper work! It couldn't hurt'' _He smiled. ''Sure thing McGee. Thanks''

''Great! I will call you as soon as I finish paperwork'' McGee said smiling.

Soon, after Gibbs had returned a hour ago. Tony stood up and grabbed his stuff.

''Going somewhere DiNozzo?'' Gibbs raised his eyebrows and looked at his agent.

''Uhm.. yeah my paperwork is finished. I just want to check on Ziva and then go home'' Tony explained.

''You are finished already?'' Gibbs was surprised.

''You will have it tomorrow morning first thing boss'' Tony assured him

Gibbs narrowed his eyes for a moment. Did he finish it now or did he not? It was a little confusing, but he waved him out. ''Okay DiNozzo. First thing tomorrow morning''

''Thanks boss'' Tony smiled and gave an appreciating look to McGee. McGee nodded. ''See you guys tomorrow!'' He said and walked off towards the elevator.

* * *

_**Tried to have McGee a little bit more ivolved in this story. kinda felt like i was legecting him.. But not so much anymore. I'm working on a twist, but not sure when to put it in. So just be prepared for it! :)**_

_**Please leave an review if you liked it, of not.. then also leave one. Just want to know what you think of it. Honesty is the best thing in the world so please leave a honest review!**_

_**-X- Leonie**_


	18. Everyone's Business

_**Yay! i just love updating, don't you? i have now a full idea or how i want to write it all down so please enjoy the rest of the story and review as much as you want. I am full of inspiration so I hope you will like it!**_

_**Thank by the way, for the reviews and new followers and such! love ya guys! Enjoy your reading! :)**_

* * *

**Tony's apartment, 4:03 pm**

Ziva sat on the piano. Her fingers were pushing the keys carefully. Yes she had indeed checked her emails and she smiled when she got an email of an old friend. It was an link to a song and her friend thought that maybe she would like it.

Little did her friend know that at the end of the song, Ziva was actually crying over it. The song had precisely told her story about how she was feeling now. Ziva came up with the idea to look the song up in a tutorial on how to play it on the piano, even though Ziva didn't read notes, she never did. But she followed how the young guy on the screen guided her and she picked it up rather quickly. She also had printed out the lyrics.

It was not perfect, but she did not have to show it today. She had still an whole week, before she had to go back to work herself. And a bonus was she when she was concentrating on the this. She closed her eyes for the first time, while playing the piano. Everything around her was silent except for the music. The voice? it had no power against it.

Also Ziva was whispering the lyrics, as she read it. The sad smile was very obvious and the text had an hard effect on her. In a good way, for a change.

As Ziva heard the key turn in the door she hastily grabbed the paper of the piano and closed it. She ran to the couch and used the remote to turn on the TV. She started zapping through the channels at the moment she heard Tony close the door and walking into the apartment.

''Hey Ziva'' He said and he plopped next to her on the couch. He sighed deep.

Ziva turned off the TV again. She looked at him and saw him rubbing his forehead. ''Heard you had a case. How was it?''

''Frustrating. Had to arrest a seventeen year old girl for killing her abusive stepmother'' He explained. ''I hope they can give her a change, considering her story. I really believe it was just something when he mind went black. It just really felt like an accident''

''I'm sure they will Tony'' Ziva reassured him. She reached out and stroked his stubbled cheek tenderly, with a smile. ''I'm glad that you are home, but I did not expect you to be home so soon''

''Well.. McGee is making my paperwork'' Tony admitted.

Ziva's eyes widened in disbelieve. ''Why would he do that?''

''I sort of told him about us—'' Tony began.

''Tony!'' She raised her voice, slightly with fear, but he cut her of in his turn.

''relax Ziva. He drops by in a hour or two. He's bringing pizza on my account. He's also worried about you. He wanted to see you. I couldn't say no to a guy that you consider as your brother, can I?'' Tony explained.

''I guess not'' Ziva agreed to that. She looked away, not sure what to do next.

''So? How was it today? Did I do a good job, hiding everything'' Tony tried to smile, but knew it was a serious thing.

''Yes you did. I could not find anything'' Ziva told him.

''But you searched, didn't you'' He reasoned from her answer. She nodded. ''Okay. But every thing's okay now, right?''

''Yes. I checked my emails and watched TV. Listened to the CD and ate the salad, which you did quite a good job with, by the way'' Ziva smiled.

''Still underestimating my cooking skills, miss David? I'm wounded'' He made a aching face and put his hand on his heart.

''Kinda hard to believe that someone who lives on take-out everyday can cook, Tony'' She chuckled. ''But you are changing my opinion on that'' She winked

…**..**

**2 hours later, Tony's apartment, 6:20 pm**

Tony now was zapping through the channels on his TV. He lowered the volume of the TV as he looked down to his lap. His strong Israeli Ninja had fallen asleep. Her head lying on his lap and her feet barely touching the other side of the couch. He smiled at the side. So peaceful. He hoped that the voice won't come into her dreams at night or now and made it there a living hell. Tony gently stroked a few strands of hair out of her face and stroked her cheek tenderly with his thumb.

McGee had texted him, half an hour ago and could be here any minute. Tony so hoped that he would not ring the bell downstairs and just came up and knocked on his door instead. That way, If he was careful, Ziva could remained sleeping.

His begging were answered with a soft knock on his door. He smiled and slowly lifting Ziva's head and shoulders from his lap. He shove from beneath her and thanked God, that her ninja senses were off. She must have really needed the nap.

He walked over to the door and opened it.

''Hi To—'' McGee's happiness was cut off.

''Ssshh.. she's sleeping'' Tony said in a softer voice, just above a whisper. McGee nodded in understanding. ''Come in'' Tony said and his eyes landed on the pizza's

McGee stepped in and Tony closed the door behind him. As McGee walked into the living room, Tony was following close behind sniffing in the air, trying to figure out, what kind of Pizza McGee had brought with him.

''Just naturals Tony. Pizza magherita'' McGee smiled.

''Do you want a beer?''

''Yes! Please'' McGee said. Tony wasn't the only one having trouble with this damn case.

He grabbed the pizza's from McGee and walked towards the kitchen. ''Make yourself at home''

McGee settled down on a big chair and turned his gaze to the sleeping figure on the couch. He smiled as he saw that her face was emotionless. He had to admit. That when he heard that dhe kissed Tony and the other way around he was surprised. He didn't see it coming, but he was actually waiting for something to happen in the future.

Ziva began to move restless and her face turned into a fearful frown. McGee stood up and knelled down next to her. ''Ziva? Ziva wake up''.

He reached out to shake her. One touch was all Ziva needed. She gasped and sat up straight. McGee was startled and fell backwards.

Tony heard the thud of something falling and came running into the living room. He looked first at McGee who was standing up and then to Ziva, who was sitting on the couch, breathing heavy and eyes wide. ''What happened?'' He asked as he came over to her. He pulled her into a hug and made gently circles on her back with his fingers. Ziva stayed silent and Tony looked at McGee, to get an answer.

''She.. her expression changed and she was restless. I think she had an nightmare. I went to wake her, but she was jerked awake, when I shook her. I'm sorry it didn't mean to do that.. I.. –'' McGee explained and was cut off.

''It's okay. You did good by waking her'' Tony reassured her. He pulled away slightly from Ziva and looked into her eyes. They began to return to normal and a single tear ran down her face. ''It's okay Ziva. It was just a nightmare, your safe, I'm here and McGee is'' Tony said and pointed to McGee, who was still focused on her. She slowly looked at him. ''See? No one's going to hurt you''

Ziva took a deep breath. And then she looked at McGee again. ''Thank you, Tim. Tony's right. You did a good thing for waking me'' She reassured him too then her eyes went back to Tony. ''It wasn't a nightmare Tony. It was a memory'' she said quietly.

Tony knew what she meant by it and pulled her back to him again and kissed her on the lips. He hesitated at first, didn't know how she would react to it, but then again it helped before. So he went with it. As he pulled back he saw a little shy smile crossing Ziva's face. ''You save Ziva, you're home and that is all what matters. Don't let the past get to you''

''I know. Thanks'' She looked back to McGee. ''I heard you would bring Pizza. I can smell it and i'm hungry'' Ziva said to McGee.

''I did. Tony took them in the kitchen'' McGee explained.

''Oh yeah! I forgot about them it for a minute. Lemme get us all a slice and something to drink. He said and walked towards the kitchen. In his act he turned and looked at Ziva. ''Sweety, to you want a beer too?''

Ziva was slightly surprised by the name. She wasn't used to, Tony saying that and meaning it. The smiled and nodded. ''Yes''. She watched Tony turning again and walking out of eyesight. Her smile grew bigger.

''So. Tony told me about you two. I'm happy for you guys'' McGee spoke after a moment of silence.

''Thank you. It wasn't planned, but I'm glad that it's taking this turn. I need him'' Ziva admitted.

''You always had'' McGee told her.

''What do you mean?'' Ziva was confused. Not because she didn't know what he meant, but more because she was surprised that McGee had noticed it.

''You two are really not that great at keeping your feelings for each other into a box'' McGee said with a smile. ''He needs you too''

Tony smiled, when he came into the living room again. ''Already talking about my feelings McTrader?'' He sat and handed him a plate with a slice of pizza.

''Just telling the truth Tony'' McGee said.

Tony walked over to Ziva and handed her a plate, before sitting down next to her. He gave her a kiss on her cheek. ''He's right''

Ziva looked at him and smiled. She then took a bite of her pizza and growled in pleasure. ''As much as I love your cooking Tony. I really was graving for fast food for tonight'' She stated her and swallowed her bite after that.

McGee raised his eyebrows in surprise. ''He... can... cook?'' He asked in disbelieve.

''I'll give you 20 bugs, for keeping your mouth shut!'' Tony quickly said.

''Deal'' McGee laughed. ''But I want prove sometime''

''Deal'' Tony agreed.

Ziva laughed at the two.

…**.**

**4 hours later, same location, 11:12 pm**

The evening become late. So much talking was done. Tony headed back to the kitchen as he told them, that did the dishes. McGee and Ziva were having light conversations. But eventually it was time for McGee to go home.

Now Tony and Ziva were watching, what ever it was, that the TV was showing. Ziva was leaning against his shoulder and a blanket was laying over their legs. Tony couldn't stop thinking about it and it was driving him slightly crazy.

''Ziva?'' Tony asked hesitantly.

''Hhmm?'' she answered. She pulled away slightly and looked at Tony. ''What is it Tony?''

''What were you dreaming about?'' He asked.

Ziva was surprised. She didn't get that much nightmares, but when she did, she hated it that she was around someone. Not because she didn't need the company after it, but because. They would see her fear, that she didn't have control of showing it. She opened her mouth to talk, but closed it again.

''What part of torture, did you dream off?'' He asked again more sternly.

Ziva closed her eyes. She wanted to grab at her Star of David. But then remembered she had lost at the same moment as he nightmare. ''It was at the point that they saw that the beatings were to much for me and they couldn't fix me up anymore if they continued to hit me.. like they did. It was the first time... they... used me'' She explained. Her voice going into whisper and almost silence at the end.

Tony closed his eyes, mentally head slapping himself for asking the question and wanting the picture out of his head.. ''I'm sorry Ziva''

''Don't Tony. It is not your fault. One more 'sorry' about Somalia and I will head slap you, until you don't remember me'' She said.

Tony's eyes went wide. ''I don't want to forget you!''

''exactly'' Ziva said and smiled.

Her face turned into a frown as if she was in a deep thoughts. Tony didn't know what to make of it, because it wasn't a lost face, that scared him. ''What is it?''

''Tony? Did you go into any other rooms, before finding me?'' She asked

''No. not that I know of. Our eyes were covered, just like yours. Why?'' Tony explained.

''So, you didn't see any one else?''

''No. just the bad guys and you. Why Ziva? What's wrong?'' Tony asked. He was a little worried.

''It's just... Sometimes when it was all quiet. Before they would.. come to me.. I thought I heard screams of someone else. Or yelling.. I don't know. Its all blurry, if I try to remember, something'' Ziva told him.

''You think, they held someone else?'' Tony questioned.

''I can't be the only one they held,in those three and a half months?'' Ziva

''No, maybe not. But we didn't think about any others. Hell we didn't think about seeing you'' Tony said.

Ziva's face went into thought mode again. ''the week you came, the screaming and yelling suddenly stopped. I know from the voice it was a woman.. do you think they...'' she trailed off.

''Ziva, I don't know. I think you should not think about it. If you are right, then there is a big possibility that she didn't survive it..'' tony told her. Ziva nodded and then yawned. ''Come, we go to sleep'' He said and kissed her temple. ''And no more nightmares. You hear me voice?'' He called into the living room. ''If you hurt her in her sleep. I will... I...'' He trailed of, remembering he couldn't kill the voice the way he wanted to.

Ziva laughed at him trying too. ''I think you scare him already, Tony. He doesn't come out when i'm around you remember?''

''Good to know'' He smiled. ''Come on, sweet cheeks, time for bed'' He pulled her off the couch.

Ziva smiled at him. ''Okay, Mon petite poi. But if you want me to stay or come over a lot more, you have to get rid of the single bed''

''I like having you that close'' Tony argued pouting.

''I know. But otherwise there won't be much room, for when I'm ready'' She winked. ''And trust me.. you need the room'' Tony stared at her. Surprised she said that. Was she really thinking about 'that?'. If so then he was a step closer again. But he still knew she wasn't ready and respected that. Sure of it, that the wait will be worth it. He grinned at her and took her hand in his, guiding them to his bedroom.

* * *

_**So Ziva's a little surprise for Tony. Do you think which song i'm going to use? i can garentee you, you won't tell me the right one XD Also she remembers a little bit of Somalia...?**_

_**McGee and Tony's relationship XD gotta love it. So tell me what you think about this chappy! review it please! i love reviews! Next chapter will be up within 13 hours! :) yes 13! i know its bad luck number but i do't believe in them xD**_

_**-X- Leonie :)**_


	19. Burrito Love

**_OMG! i can't believe that i kept my promise! :D not even 12,5 hours and now i opload it =3_**

**_So you know what i'm gonna say here! its like a standard someting XD but still, thank you for the reviews and new followers, i still and love you anyway :)_**

**_Enjoy your reading!_**

* * *

**Tony's bedroom, 8:25 am**

It was early in the Sundaymorning when Ziva awoke. The warm feeling welled up into her body as she once again, found Tony's arms around hers. It had been 4 weeks now and she had been home 5 times to grab new clothes and her dirty laundry had stayed at Tony's. Today she wasn't sure if she had any clothes left at home.

Ziva looked at the alarm, seeing it was 8:30 and grateful that Tony was off in the weekends

She turned in Tony's arms, hoping that he wouldn't wake. If he did, he didn't show it, because when she looked at him, his eyes were still closed and he breathed even in and out. Ziva reached out with her hand and stroked her fingers through his hair and then the her fingers strokver over his cheek.

''_How can he care so much?_'' Ziva thought to herself. ''_I do not deserve it, but he keeps trying to prove that I do. I am so grateful to be here with him_'' She smiled and wanted to kiss him, but her head started pounding. ''_Well, sooner or later, every man leaves or betrayed you Ziva. Carmiel did, Micheal did and eventually Tony will too'' _The voice spoke up. ''No.'' Ziva whispered.

Tony frowned as he heard the whisper. He had woken up, the moment he felt her fingers over his skin. He didn't want to let her know at first, but he didn't have that discusion again about 'Pretending to be asleep'. So, ''What's wrong Ziva?'' He asked, his eyes fluttering open.

''Nothing. Just had a conversation, with the _It'' _She told Tony.

''You didn't agree with it. What had he to say?'' Tony asked.

''He said that you would leave and/ or betray me'' She said meeting his eyes. He looked at her, showing that he did not like what it said to her. ''You.. You wouldn't do that, would you?'' Ziva

''No! Gosh no, Ziva. I thought you knew not to trust the voice?'' Tony asked.

''I don't! Sorry. It's just.. I did not have the best of luck.. even before NCIS or even Mossad.. I am just very... careful'' Ziva said. ''The little girl side of me, I guess'' She shrugged.

''Zeev... any guy, who ever it was, that has hurt you, is the most stupid man in the whole world. Who can hurt such a beautiful woman like you? Inside and out, you're gorgeous Ziva. You are so strong, going through what you did and survive and now fighting with something someone can't barely explain. You are smart and again you are the most gorgeous woman I know. if they don't see any of that and hurt you, than they don't deserve anyone like you'' He said and kissed her briefly on a tender kiss.

Ziva felt a tear fell down over her cheek and smiled against his lips. ''Thank you. That were too much compliments in one speech''

''All of them are true Ziva. Even if it's not for the voice, you have to start believing that you are all the good thing I tell you'' Tony told her.

''I trust you Tony'' She said and kissed him again.

His grip around her tightened slightly, hesitant not to go to far with it. But she didn't mention to him to pull away like she did most of the times. No if it wasn't for Tony, he could swear she deepened the kiss, before he pulled away himself.

Even though he pulled away, Ziva didn't seem to be disappointed about it either. ''So what are we going to do today?'' He asked with a grin. He sat up and stretched.

''Well... my laundry seriously needs to be done. Cause all of my clothes are here, but dirty and I doubt that I have any left at my place'' She and Tony both laughed about that.

He uncovered himself from the blankets and sat on the edge of the bed. ''You know. Having this relationship with you, is easier than I thought'' Tony admitted.

Ziva frowned, she crawled over the bed and sat next to him ''What do you mean?''

''Well, our relationship or friendship, has always been complicated, but now it just... flows you know? And I love it'' Tony explained. ''_I love you..'' _He thought.

Ziva leaned against his shoulder. ''I understand. Maybe it's because we are now honest with each other. With what we feel and tell the truth''

''I'm going to have a serious head slap, when you can come back next week'' Tony chuckled.

''Why would you say that?'' She asked.

''Well, I can't pretend that I don't have a relationship with you Ziva. I.. just can't'' Tony said.

''We need to talk to Gibbs'' Ziva reasoned.

''Yup'' Tony sighed. ''But for now how about we shower and get dressed, do laundry and go for lunch afterwards?'' Tony suggested.

Ziva still hadn't been out much, but their occasional dinners or lunches she enjoyed every much and therefor the nodded. ''Sounds good. You go shower, I will look for some kind of breakfast'' She told him and walked into the kitchen.

Her pajama's were not at all what he expected from her. Long flannel pants and the long sleeved t-shirt. But then again, Since she was back Ziva didn't like wearing something that would expose her scars and especially there were too scars, she made herself. But even with those scars, she was still the most beautiful and exotic woman he had ever seen and was determine to let her know that too. Himself, only wearing boxers and sweatpants, got up and walked in to the bathroom.

…**...**

**3 hours later**

After Ziva and Tony had both did their laundry and Ziva's clothes were propped into a shelve in Tony's closet, for ''space reasons'', Tony and Ziva walked, her arm thought his, through the shopping street, looking for the best place to eat something. It had been getting colder lately as autumn fell early this year.

''I loved the park we walked thought earlier. The colors changing, we don't see that that much in Israel'' Ziva spoke

''Well, miss David, as beautiful Israel can be, I'm sure I can show you how beautiful D.C. Is. I know all the hiding places'' Tony hold her teasingly.

''I have noticed that'' She smiled. Tony stopped in his tracks, startling Ziva. ''What?''

''Do you want burritos?'' He asked, pointing towards the windows they stood in front of.

''I don't know. Never had one'' Ziva said. Tony gasped in shock.

''Yo— you never had a burrito?'' He asked in disbelieve.

''No...?'' Ziva said, not sure if that was such bad thing.

''Oh you are coming with me!'' Tony said, grabbed her hand and marched with her in to the restaurant.

They said down at the table and a nice waitress, in uniform, which included a slightly too short skirt, bounced in their way. ''Hi, i'm Becky! How can I help you guys?'' She said and winked at Tony and gave him a mischievous smile.

That did not go unnoticed by Ziva, who raised her eyebrows and opened her mouth to say something. She was cut off, as Tony spoke first.

''We will take two standard burritos, mine medium and a small for the lady, but she will take a salad, with it'' Tony said, not showing any emotion to the girl, who looked disappointed about that.

''Okay, sure. Can I bring something to drink, in waiting for your food?'' Becky said, still trying to get Tony's attention

''Uhm.. Just a coke would be fine'' Tony said sterny

''And a water is good for me'' Ziva smiled at her.

''Alright. Coming right up'' Becky said and walked away.

Ziva looked at Tony, who turned his eyes back to her. The look on Ziva's face made Tony smirk and shook his his in disbelieve. ''You surprise me with your girly sight, Ziva'' He said

''What?'' Ziva was confused.

''You were jealous'' He accused, with a grin.

''I am no—'' Ziva began, but stopped as Tony raced his eyebrows and an grin spread on his face. ''She was just all over you and...'' She trailed off.

Tony reach out to cub his hand over hers. ''Ziva its fine. I don't know what I would do if a guy would do the same thing towards you'' Tony told her.

''I was about to hit her in the face'' Ziva admitted.

''And I would love to see that. But I only have my eyes for you, sweetcheeks. I don't care about any other girl'' He looked at the direction of the kitchen and saw Becky coming back with their drinks. He leaned over. ''Come here'' He ordened

''Huh?'' Ziva didn't understand.

''Just.. come.. here'' He said and grabbed her face in his hands, pulling her to him and kissing her. Ziva was surprised and didn't know what just happened, but the great feeling of kissing Tony soon took over and she kissed him back.

Becky now stood in front of them with their drinks and cleared her throat. Ziva and Tony pulled away and Tony threw her a smirk. Ziva understood what he did and a grin spread in her face.

''Here are you drinks. Your burritos will be here soon'' She said sternly, with an edge of annoyance on her voice, turned and walked away again.

Tony laughed softly as Ziva chuckled while she took a sip of her water. ''Well.. that was fun'' She said.

''She looked so pissed off'' Tony said, still laughing.

''Well. I guess she has good taste. I mean you are very handsome, Tony. I would be jealous too'' Ziva said. ''_I was jealous.. every time'' _She thought.

''Miss David, was that... again an compliment?'' He asked mischievously. She smiled softly at him. ''Good thing you have me then'' Tony said and reached over to capture her lips with his again, briefly.

Burritos came soon after that and they ate it in silence, apart from the growling of pleasure on both sides. After they were done, Tony paid for the food, after a little bit of arguing from Ziva, who insisted of paying her part, but she gave in and let Tony pay.

Now they were walking back to Tony's car that was parked just outside the shopping area. As Ziva's arm was again entangled with Tony's she leaned against his shoulder. They enjoyed the walk in silence and just smiled as other couples walked by.

''Tony?'' Ziva asked and stopped, just as they reached the car.

''Something wrong?'' Tony turned to face her.

''No'' Ziva said and smiled.

''What is it then?'' He asked.

''I.. I just wanted to thank you.. for.. everything'' Ziva began. Tony wanted to say something but was cut off. ''For looking after me, with Michael, then still coming to Somalia and changing your plans when you found me there. And then again when you found out that I was.. still hurting. Thank you for not giving up on me and helping me''

Tony smiled. ''You are so welcome Ziva. I'm glad that I'm such a big help and I wouldn't want it any other way now. Well.. maybe the Somalia part could have changed in you coming back to D.C. but then we maybe would not be together, so I think the ''What if'' argument would be in here again'' He joked a little. ''I am glad that I have you now and that you are getting better already. I know you are not going to be the same Ziva, that I liked before Somalia, but I love this Ziva. I.. love _you,_ Ziva''

''_Wait what?''_ Ziva thought with widened eyes. Her mind was processing every word he just said and always ended with the same four words. ''_I love you, Ziva'' _It repeated itself over and over again.

''Ziva?'' Tony was hesitant. She was silent for a couple of moment and it worried him. He just said _it. _It wasn't planned to say that, now. And she wasn't replying.

''You.. you love me?'' Ziva asked finally in disbelieve, her voice nearly above a whisper.

''Well.. yeah'' He said shyly. But then he was sure of it. ''Yes I love you'' He said confident.

''You love me?'' She asked slightly louder.

''Yes Ziva. I love you'' He repeated.

''You love me'' She now stated, a smile crossing her face.

''Ziva? This is kinda the moment you say that you love me too?'' Tony told her, as if it was a love story.

She stroked his cheek with the back of her hand and and placed her palm on his heart. ''I love you too, Tony'' She said. ''I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you!'' She repeated each time a little louder and with more confidence. The grin that he had on his face, before he pulled her to him, was priceless. He kissed her. Now trying to tell her everything through this kiss, but fully away there were on a crowded parking lot and not wanting to go to far.

''You have no idea, how hearing those words from you feel'' Tony said holding her head and his forehead against hers.

''Trust me. I have a pretty good idea'' Ziva smiled.

* * *

_**Yay! the ''I love you thing!'' :D its just gets to me everytime. So Ziva can go back to work next week. But still a whole week to go and with everything i know.. it's gonna be a long week ;)**_

_**So please leave a review! because i love them and i wanna know what you think!**_

_**-X- Leonie**_


	20. Broken Mistery Girl 1

_**So here it is! :D CHAPTER 20! :D never expected it to be this big yaay! thanks for all the reviews and such. you are truly the best people i know :) **_

_**Okay, so just 5 more reviews and i have had 100 :D thats pretty big too! **_

_**Won't hold you up any further! Enjoy your reading!**_

* * *

**Wednesday, NCIS HQ Bullpen, 12:20 pm**

''Tony, would you stop trowing those damn paper balls? You are supposed to use it otherwise!'' McGee glared at Tony.

''I'm bored McGee! I've had enough of this paperwork! Look! The pile of unfinished paperwork, is barely gone and the pile with finished ones is _This _big! I deserve a break!'' Tony explained and threw another one. He grinned as the ball hit McGee against his head.

''Wipe that grin from your face, DiNozzo and get to work'' Gibbs told him. Tony turned his eyes to his boss. ''Otherwise those paper balls end up somewhere you don't want them to be'' He threatened.

Tony's eyes widened. ''On it boss'' He said, turned to his computer and began type on his keyboard rapidly.

Their week was very... _boring _to say at least. They hadn't had a case yet. And to most of their surprise, all three of them were actually catching up on their paperwork! Which they were almost finished with.

Half an hour later, Tony, McGee and Gibbs were still on their desks, when another team, of NCIS came out of the elevator, but stopped. They were very hard trying to hold and overpower a girl.

All men of Team Gibbs looked up from their work when the girl was struggling against their grips and screamed something, no one understood.

Gibbs stood up and walked over to them, while Tony and McGee first looked at each other and then to the scene and waited in patience. ''What is going on here?'' Gibbs yelled.

The woman promptly stopped and looked at Gibbs. The two other men stopped also and turned to him. ''The manager of the restaurant on the Navy Yard called us, Sir. She was threating him and his employees with a knife, They couldn't understand her, because she spoke another language'' The left on on her side began to explain.

''She stabbed on of them. Not badly, but he's at the hospital. When we came at the restaurant, we had a pretty big fight. She countered 2 my other man! She never spoke a word to us. Took us two man, but finally overpowered her. Seems like she has no power left at all or even had, if you see her in this state. She didn't struggle anymore until we came out of this elevator'' The other one said.

Gibbs for the first time really looked at the girl. And at what he saw, his heart broke. Only now he sat that the younger woman, really looked like just a girl. Her clothes were ripped all over. Her loose T-shirt, once white was yellow, Gibbs assumed of sweat and had dirt all over it. Her jeans had also wholes everywhere, and was held up by a robe, tightened around her hips. She was so skinny, that Gibbs could held her wrist easily with only his thumb and forefinger, that would cross each other another inch. Her arms and face were full with scratches and other bruises, underneath a also thick layer of dirt.

But what Gibbs hurt the most, was the lost and feared look in the girls eyes. The same look, Ziva gave him when he saw her, being held up by Tony and McGee, in Somalia, minutes after he had shot Saleem.

''You took the knife?'' Gibbs asked, not turning her eyes of the girl.

''Yes sir'' The right one answered, he handed it to Gibbs.

''Alright. Go to the hospital to check out the man she stabbed. We will take her over from here'' Gibbs said.

''Be careful Sir. When she regains energy again, you don't want to cross her'' The left one warned.

''We will be okay. Go'' Gibbs reassured them.

They loosened that grip on her and waited for her tot attack again. But it never came. She just stood their looking at Gibbs. The two men looked at each other and eventually went to the elevators again.

Before Gibbs could say anything, he saw her eyes roll backwards and her legs gave in under her. He was just in time to catch her before she hid the ground. ''DiNozzo! McGee!'' He yelled. Tony and McGee, who snapped out of their confusion, of what just happened and what just had been said about her, ran over to them. ''You'' He pointed to Tony. ''Get a Bottle of water and a muesli bar then come to me. I will be in the room where we are supposed to get some sleep if we have an overnighter. And you'' Gibbs turned to McGee. ''Do get Ducky. We will need him. Also bring this knife to Abby, see if she can get an fingerprint of it'' He ordered and gave the knife to McGee.

Tony and McGee sped off, after saying ''Yes Boss'' and ''On it Boss''. Gibbs lifted the girl up and hated it that she felt way to light. She felt like a 14 year old girl, which she obvious wasn't considers her length and face.

He brought her to the mentioned room and laid her down on the mattress and looked at her unconscious form. His heart broke every time he glanced at her. This girl must have had a struggle and even if she had stabbed someone, he didn't blame her. One look told him, she was scared out of her life, hungry and thirsty. _Very _hungry and thirsty.

He pulled up a chair, that stood in the corner of the room and sat down on it. He propped up his elbows on his upper legs and rested his chin on his now entangled fingers. He just kept looking at her.

After 2 minutes, Gibbs could hear heavy feet running down the hall and coming closer, just before Tony entered the room.

''Who is she?'' Tony asked. Handing the bottle to Gibbs.

''Don't know'' Gibbs only said.

''What did those men say?'' Tony asked further.

''She stabbed one of the employees in the restaurant on the navy yard and she took down two of his team members. She finally was overpowered, but began to fight again when the came up here'' Gibbs explained.

''She?'' Tony pointed and asked full unbelief. ''_How can _that _girl, take out 2 man. Look at her!_'' His mind was racing.

''I am thinking the same thing, DiNozzo'' Gibbs said.

''Oh dear! Have not seen such a terrible state in a long time'' A low voice with a English accent asked.

Gibbs and Tony turned to see McGee and Ducky standing in the door post. ''I have'' They both said, thinking the same thing. Ducky gave them a knowing glare.

''Do you have an idea on who this is?'' McGee asked entering the room further, with Ducky.

''No. no name, no ID, she didn't say a word'' Gibbs explained. He placed the bottle of water and muesli bar, that obviously had no effect right now, on a small table and stood.

''Let me just do my job for now'' Ducky told them and gently he pushed them out of the room.

It was weird. They didn't know this girl. Never seen her before. Charged for stabbing someone, men who say she took out 2 federal agents. How? How can someone, like her do that? She had no energy left and fainted in Gibbs arms from exhaustion, possibly do that? And even knowing that Gibbs, nor Tony or McGee, already knew that obviously the girl went to that restaurant, to get some food and water.

In the time that Ducky was busy with the girl. Gibbs had told Director Vance about this and Vance said to update him when they knew something more.

Something about this, didn't feel right and like they would if someone of the team was in the hospital, which would be a better place for her, but something told Gibbs, she really didn't want to go there, they waited out in the hall.

''My head is actually pounding'' Tony stated.

''Why?'' McGee asked.

''Because of her! How she looks. She is way to skinny. I just can't believe she took out three man''

''People would do much worse for food, Tony'' Gibbs told him.

''Yeah but how? She's totally drained. God knows what happened to her and she fainted in your arms'' Tony was frustrated, it was like... No that can't be the same thing.

''I. Don't. Know. DiNozzo'' Gibbs said calmly, putting two hands on the younger mans shoulder.

Just when Tony was about to start an discussion with Gibbs, some kind of yell came from the room and all three man sprinted towards it again.

They saw the obvious. The girl was awake again. Still in her clothes, but her face and arms were somewhat clean. She was sitting in the corner of the bed against the wall and Ducky was trying to talk to her, with a washing cloth in hand.

''It's okay my dear. I'm just cleaning you up'' Ducky tried to explain.

''No!'' She called back. ''Do not touch me!''

''It's alright. He's not going to hurt you. He's the sweetest guy i've ever met'' Tony told her.

''I do not know you. For all I know you just want to... to...'' she tried but trailed off. Instead of that she just pulled her knees up to her nose and wrapped her arms around it.

''You hungry?'' Gibbs asked grabbing the muesli bar and holding it up.

The girl looked at him with pleading eyes. After a moment of silence she nodded slightly. Gibbs wanted to go towards her but she put up her hand. Gibbs stopped and threw the bar next to her on the bed.

They didn't even saw it happen, but in one swift movement, the girl had grabbed it and was now half way through eating the bar.

''Hey'' Gibbs said. The girl looked up to him. ''This is Ducky. He's a doctor. He's really not going to hurt you, he makes people better'' Gibbs explained to her. ''But he can't do that unless you let him to''

''I just do not like men touching me'' She honestly said, taking the last bite of the bar.

''I don't know what happened, but I somehow understand you'' Gibbs said. ''He's a good man.. miss...?''

No answer. Gibbs sighed. He really just wanted a name. It was much easier to talk with. She just nodded instead.

''Alright, just let us know when you guys need something. There are clothes in the locker over there. You're free to use it'' Gibbs said. He walked out with McGee. He turned to see Tony still looking at the girl and the girl looked back at him

Ton's mind was racing. Her face was clean, well except for the cuts criss crossing over her face and the big bruise on her left cheek and around her left eye. It hurt him to see it. But he now had a better look at her. His head hurt, he could swear that he had seen this girl before, but he couldn't understand why or when.

''DiNozzo! That goes for you too. Come!'' Gibbs called, snapping him out of his thoughts.

''On your six, boss!'' He said and turned on his heels to follow him outside. Once there he closed the door.

He was stopped close after when he nearly bumped into McGee. Gibbs stood a little further, but he still looked at him the same way McGee did ''What is it, Tony?'' McGee asked.

''Nothing'' Tony lied. The two men raised their eyebrows, not buying it at all. Tony sighed. ''I just have a feeling that I know her, but I don't remember''

''Don't tell me you had a one night stand with her'' McGee sighed.

''No! God no! She's much to young for that. I just really can't remember, where I know her from'' Tony told them.

''Go cool your head DiNozzo'' Gibbs ordened.

''But Bo—'' Tony began, but was cut off.

''Now!'' He demanded. ''And take McGee with you''

''Yes boss'' McGee and Tony said at once. And Tony followed McGee defeated out the hall and towards the elevators.

Once Gibbs saw the elevator doors, close he lightly knocked on the door of th room.

''I will be right outside, Jethro'' Ducky said from the other side.

It took Ducky longer, then he had planned to come outside, but he eventually did so and he closed the door behind him.

''How is she?'' Gibbs asked immediately.

''Exhausted. The young lady had quite some bruises and cuts. Where did you guys find her?''

''Another team arrested her, after she stabbed someone in the restaurant'' Gibbs explained.

Ducky nodded. Not a bit surprised that she was at a restaurant.

''How I she mentally, Duck?'' Gibbs asked.

''Well, you know as good as I, that we both saw this before. Only then the young woman reacted slightly different towards us, me. She didn't flinch so much when I touch her, although she did too''

''Ziva knows us Duck. This girl doesn't. Its not that weird. But even so.. the way she acted... Do you think she..'' Gibbs couldn't even say the words.

''I did not do a test on her. I cleaned her and the wounds, on the places she let me. Now she's cleaning herself and putting on the other clothes I found in your locker. But considering her reactions, it really wouldn't surprise me, Jethro'' Ducky told him.

Gibbs rubbed his hand over his face. This was so frustrating him. ''We need to find out who she is and what she's doing here''

Ducky nodded in agreement. ''Tried to get her to tell me her name. I failed'' He said. He opened the door again softly and looked inside. Seeing that she was lying on the bed again, sleeping. The bottle of water was for ¾ empty now.

Gibbs grabbed the cellphone out of his pocket and called Tony.

''_Yeah_'' Was the answer he got from Tony.

''your head still pounding?'' Gibbs asked.

''_No so much, boss. Thank you for sending me outside_'' Tony said.

''Well get your ass back inside. She needs someone when she wakes up'' He said.

''_On our way boss_'' Tony said

Moments later Tony walked up the hall seeing that Gibbs wasn't there. McGee had started the case on paper and was now dealing with that. Tony walked over to the door and stopped for moment, before knocking and going inside.

To his surprise, Gibbs wasn't there either and she was the only one in the room. He sat down on the chair and looked at her. Again the thought came up in his head that he knew this girl.

Tony was jerked out of his thoughts when he heard her gagging and was just in time to get the bucket under her aim before she threw up the little he had eating and drank. Tony had the urge to do the same, can't stand the smell or the sight of it, be he remained calm.

After thirty seconds she spit one more time and then wiped off her mouth with a papertowel.

''Thank you'' She said.

''For what?'' Tony asked when he had placed the bucket out side of the door.

''The bucket. Where I'm from, the floor is usually used for this'' She explained.

''Where _are _you from?'' Tony asked further.

''I do not want to talk about it'' She said and looked away.

''I love your accent'' Tony stated.

''Why?'' She asked. ''_Why would anyone like it?_''

''Because my girlfriend has the same one'' Tony told her. She locked her eyes with him. ''You're Israeli, aren't you?'' No response. Tony narrowed his eyes. He was deferentially on to something. An idea came up on his head and he grabbed his cellphone and searched through it. Then he stopped and turned the screen to her.

Her eyes grew wider as she saw an picture. ''Do you know her?'' He asked

''_How? how can he know her?'' _She thought. ''Ziva'' The girl whispered.

* * *

_**I know that there is a big lack of Ziva in this chapter. But in order to make it right it had to be. So tell me what you think about this chapter. In a review is the easiest way to tell me. I love reviews btw :D haha**_

_**anyways! -X-**_


	21. Broken Mistery Girl 2

_**OMFG my fourth Chapter in 48 hours time. Again.. if you find any typos.. i am soooo freaking sorry about that. i still don't have a beta.. because well.. anyone who i know personally don't know i'm writing fanfiction like this.. **_

_**Anyways! Thanks for the review! i love them and they mean so much to me! **_

_**Enjoy your reading! :)**_

* * *

**NCIS HQ, 1:05 pm**

''Ziva'' The girl whispered.

''Ah. So you do know her'' Tony concluded. ''Who is she to you?''

''How is that any of your business?'' The girl snapped. She had clearly a temper and wasn't one to speak much about her life.

''Well, you see. Ziva is my coworker—'' Tony began but was cut off.

That got the girls attention. She looked at him with interest. ''She is? Why isn't she in Israel?'' She asked.

''She was here as a Mossad Liaison Officer attached to NCIS. But now she's very sick. It's a long story, but she ended up in Somalia—'' Tony began to explain. It seemed like this girl knew and was very interested in Ziva. But eventually she cut him off.

''No. She can't be, she wasn't in Somalia. I would have known that!'' The girl said. Tears threatened to fall, but she regained herself.

''Wait? How _do_ you know Ziva then, if you didn't know she was in Somalia?'' Tony was confused. He had thought that she would know her from there.

The girl didn't answer. She only crawled deeper into the corner. ''How is Ziva sick?'' She asked.

Tony raised her eyebrows. ''She's dealing with the sight effects of her time there. She physically is alright, except for her some older (and newer) bruises and wounds, but her head is a mess. For the rest I'm not telling you the details'' He explained.

''I know the feeling'' She murmured.

Tony didn't know what to say to that. Did she meant, that she was sick too mentally? The sight effects? What had the girl been through? AAAGH! He just wanted to know!

He just kept looking at the girl that had her knees to her chin and her arms wrapped around herself. The bruises and scars on her arms were similar to Ziva's.

''_She had to be there. She had to be in Somalia too. But what happened? She couldn't be there for this whole time, could she?_'' Tony tought.

A throat clearing pulled him out of his thoughts. He turned to look and saw Gibbs leaning against the door frame.

''Do we have a name yet?'' He asked.

''No. For now. I'm going to call her 'Little Ninja'. I think its appropriate. Taking out three men in this state. You have to be very strong for that'' He said. A soft smile appearing on his face. The girl gave him a look, but she didn't say anything.

''Tony? A word'' Gibbs said and walked out of the room.

''Will be right back'' Tony told the girl and walked out the room, closing the door behind him.

''Talk to me Tony. What do you know?'' Gibbs asked.

''Well, She knows Ziva. But she didn't know Ziva was in Somalia. So that's not it. Then again, I have the strong feeling that I know her too. Its confusing'' Tony explained and rubbed his hand over his forehead.

Gibbs grabbed the cellphone out of Tony pocket and went through the phone numbers. Tony was confused. When Gibbs gave the phone back, Tony looked at the number. *Ziva home*. He smiled inside, closed the call and called his house instead. Gibbs narrowed his eyes, unsure of what Tony just did.

**Tony's apartment, 1:30 pm**

Ziva was playing the piano, like always around this time of the day. She was enjoying it very much and her playing the song, she wanted to show Tony, was almost near perfect. She knew the lyrics out of her head and she could almost do the whole piano music without an mistake.

While she was singing the song, she almost couldn't hear the phone ringing, but she did after 3 rings and quickly ran over to his house phone.

''DiNozzo residence, Ziva'' She answered happily

''_Ziva..._'' Tony was unsure what to say. What did Gibbs want from her.

''What's wrong Tony?'' Ziva asked worried. She heard something like ''_Give me that phone_'' On the other side of the line.

''_Ziver! It's Gibbs_'' He said.

''Uhm... hi. I'm fine if that is was you wanted to know'' She reassured him.

''_That's good to know, but.. We're sort of have a situation here. I was wondering if you could come over here_'' Gibbs asked. She heard Tony say: ''_What? Are you sure that's a good idea? Ow!'' _

''Tony just got an head slap, didn't he?'' Ziva asked.

''_Yup. But do you want to come? We kinda really need you'' _Gibbs asked.

''Does is involves a case, because—'' Ziva wanted to asked, but was cut off.

''_No. No case. It's complicated. You will see when you get here'_' Gibbs said.

''Uhm.. alright I'll be there. Give me 30 minutes'' Ziva said.

''_Kay. Bye_'' Gibbs said and with that he hung up.

''What was that all about?'' Ziva said to herself. ''_Maybe there are going to talk to you, about that you can't go back to work there anymore. You have to go back to your father'' _The voice said.

''No they would not do that'' Ziva stated, stubbornly.

Since she was sent away on her... suicide mission, she hadn't talked to her father since then. She hated her father for it and would let him know too. Sure he was aware that Ziva was still alive. Eli was friends with Vance, but that didn't mean, he wasn't dead to her.

She sighed and grabbed her coat, then she walked out of the apartment.

…**..**

**Hallway, NCIS HQ**

''Tony!'' Abby's voice rang through the hallway as she made her way to the two man. ''McGee told me what happened. How is the girl? Is she alright? Has Ducky checked her out? Please say she's alright!''

''ABBS!'' Tony called out to shut her up. ''She's not fine. She just had a muesli bar and she threw up, when she woke up. It's like Somalia, all over again.. only different'' He said. His voice getting softer and softer with every word.

Abby looked at him.

''What are you doing up here Abby?'' Gibbs changed the subject a bit.

''Oh. Right. Well, I ran the fingerprints, but the file is blocked and secured. McGee is busy with it now. He's having really problems with it. It's frustrating him that he can't get through. But still I have no match, so still no name'' Abby said to them.

''Do we know, who the file belongs too?'' Tony asked.

''No. still not a clue. It's pretty big cover, if even McGee has trouble with it'' Abby said. The men nodded.

Tony let out a deep sigh.

''What's wrong Tony?'' she asked worried.

''There's just something about her. I know her! I really do, I saw her before!'' Tony was certain of it.

''Where?'' Abby asked.

Suddenly Tony went silent. Abby and Gibbs looked at each other. The look on Tony's face, was a look of thinking.. _really_ thinking. Thinking everything over in his head. From point number one to number thousand something. And when he does that, they know he has an idea or an gut feeling. At the moment they looked at him again. He widened his eyes. Like a lamp figure began to shine above his head.

A head slap brought him back to reality.

''Spill it DiNozzo'' Gibbs said to him.

''Gibbs. Will you hold Ziva for a minute when she comes? I need to speak to Little Ninja'' Tony said. Gibbs gave him an skeptical look. Tony sighed. ''I tell you later. Just...trust me on this one, okay?'' Tony said.

Gibbs looked at him one more time, before nodding and Tony entered the room again.

''What do you think he's thinking?'' Abby asked Gibbs.

''I really have not a clue. But I know that he's right, with whatever he thinks'' Gibbs told him. ''Getting coffee. You go back and help McGee!'' He said and walked away.

…**..**

**Labby, 1:40 pm**

''Timmy!'' Abby yelled over the overly load music, which wasn't hers. She walked over to the stereo and turned it off.

''Hey! I was listening to that!'' McGee snapped as his head came from behind the computer.

''That isn't music, McGee! Don't ever to that to my technical friends again'' Abby demanded as she patted one of the machines. She walked over to him, when he let out a deep sigh. ''Still not found a way in?''

''No!'' McGee said frustrated. ''I don't understand! I never had some much difficulties, since...'' He trailed off. His face showing the same thinking-face as Tony.

''Since when, McGee?'' Abby wanted to know.

''Since... the Haswari Case... I didn't get into the Mossad files!'' He remembered. ''Now that I think about it. It's the same system. I am trying to find a way in ever since than. But just like this time, I couldn't get in!''

''You think that Mossad is after this? Eli is after this?'' Abby reasoned.

''After what?'' A female voice said. McGee and Abby's head shot up. They saw Ziva standing in the door frame. ''What has my father done now?''

Abby and McGee were both shocked at her entrance. ''_Oh Shit! I forgot about that she would come'' _Abby thought. ''Ziva! Oh my Gosh! It's so good to see you!'' Abby squealed, changing the subject. She ran over to Ziva and gave her friend one of her famous Abby hugs.

''I'm.. Fine.. Abbs... Trouble... breathing'' She patted Abby on her back and Abby pulled back.

''Sorry! Well how's life? Can you handle living on your own again?'' Abby asked.

''It's going just fine Abby'' she looked at McGee, who gave her an smirk. Then her face turned serious. ''So what's this about Mossad and my father?'' She said sternly.

''Well it's a long story Ziva'' McGee said.

''In case you haven't noticed, I have plenty of time, sitting '_at home_'. So start talking'' Ziva demanded.

''Well. It was a normal boring morning, at NCIS this morning. Like you will know, We didn't have a case this whole week!'' McGee started to explain. ''Just after lunch break, we were still working on paperwork'' He was cut off by Abby.

''well the most of you... Tony was playing around, throwing paper balls at Timmy'' Abby explained. McGee rolled his eyes.

''Yes.. thanks for the memory'' He said. Ziva held in a laugh. ''So after Gibbs had threatened him, with pushing the paper balls up in his ass. He started working again. Half an hour later the other team of this floor came up. They were fighting a girl. She seemed furious, full of fear too, so Gibbs went to them and Tony and I just kept watching the scene''

''Gibbs asked what was wrong and they told him, that she had stabbed one of the employees down in the restaurant, plus taking out 2 extra agents'' He said.

''Wow.. strong girl?'' Ziva asked.

''Sounded like it yeah. But after Gibbs had told them he would take care of it, The girl just fainted in his arms. He called Tim and Tony and when they got there. They saw the girl really good'' Abby said.

''What do you mean?'' Ziva frowned.

''She is broken, Ziva. She has bruises and scars all over, her clothes are ripped and full with dirt. And she is way, _way _too skinny. She even threw up, after only one muesli bar and a half bottle of water. And no one can touch her. She freaks when you come close. The only one who, succeeded to be in the room, more that 10 minutes, are Ducky and Tony'' McGee said.

Ziva was listening to this and didn't like it one bit. It brought up too many memories of her time with Ducky after she came back out of Somalia.

''actually.. Tony is with her right now'' Abby added.

''He's the most frustrated of all of us'' McGee said

''Why?'' Ziva asked. She was interested.

''He is sure that he has seen the girl before'' Abby said. ''She doesn't want to tell us her name. She's too scared and doesn't trust us. But the whole time Tony is thinking about it and its getting to him''

''He knows her?'' Ziva asked in disbelieve.

''It's not what you think. He says its not a one night stand or something. He can't remember where he knows her from''

''Where is he? I want to speak with him'' Ziva demanded.

''He's in the room, with the bed. In the hall, that leads you to the vending machine's. Gibbs should be waiting outside'' Abby said.

Without another word she turned on her heels and took off, leaving McGee and Abby alone again. It took them a second, but then they regained their thoughts and went back to work.

…**..**

**Hallway, 2:05 pm**

Gibbs was patiently waiting in the hall, when he heard the sound of feet running. He recognized the sound. The way they ran. It was Ziva, he knew that. He stood up and waited for her to come around the corner. When she finally did, he knew, that McGee and Abby had filled her in, as much as they knew.

''Gibbs!'' She called as soon as came around the around the conner and saw him. She ran to him. ''Gibbs where's Tony. Is he in there?'' She pointed at the door.

''Yeah he is. He's talking to the mysterious girl. Do you know anything about this?'' Gibbs asked.

''No. Abby and McGee filled me in. How does Tony know her?'' Ziva asked.

''I don't know. You have to wait until he's outside. If she sees anyone else, we will have an Ninja on the loose. Tony called her Little Ninja for now'' Gibbs explained.

Ziva raised her eyebrows about that, but didn't say anything. They waited for another ten minutes when Tony finally came out and closed the door silently behind him. The look on his face was unreadable.

''Hi sweety'' Tony said to Ziva without realizing it. He gave her a sad smile. Gibbs looked surprised about the nickname, but kept silent.

''Uhm.. hi Tony'' Ziva said awkward.

''I really don't know, how to tell her story'' Tony said. ''But I can tell you that, what I was thinking was right'' He said looking at Gibbs.

''You know her?'' Gibbs asked. ''You have an name?''

''Yup'' Tony took a deep breath.

''Well? Who is it then?'' Ziva asked.

''Ziva...'' Tony started, but trailed off. ''_How am i suppose to tell her this?_''

* * *

**_OMG! i am sooooo mean! its a clifhanger :D don't you just like those things? Hihihi :) _**

**_Anyways tell me what you think about this chapter or the whole story i don't care, but please care to review i love them and they help me :)_**

**_Enjoy your, morning, day, evening, night! whatever and where ever you guys are! :D_**

**_-X- Leonie_**


	22. Family Matter

**_ YAAAY OVER 100 REVIEWS :D So! i'm sorry for not updating yesterday :O haha. if you waited or someting, i'm sooooo sorry... :(_**

**_won't hold you up any longer! Enjoy your reading_**

* * *

**20 minutes earlier, Room in NCIS hallway**

Tony closed the door behind him. He looked at the girl, that still sat in the corner of the bed. He gave her an look that was unreadable to her. She was confused. What did he want from her? Tony sat down at the chair, that he had pulled a little closer to the bed. The girl tried to back away, avoiding that he came closer to her, not sure of what he wanted of her.

''Aren't you going all ninja on me?'' Tony asked her. The girl stayed silent. ''How old are you?''

''twenty five... why?'' She asked him.

Tony was shocked to hear that. Her body, her weight, she didn't look older that a girl of fourteen or fifteen. He held back the shock and began to calculate in his head. The girl... or woman looked at him. What the hell was he thinking. It was the first time on long time that she looked at someone and she couldn't read what he or she was thinking. Dammit!

A smile crossed his face, as his thoughts were now sure. ''You know.. your sister misses you a lot'' He finally spoke.

''My sister?'' She frowned.

''Ziva'' Tony said with a grin.

''How did you—'' She trailed off.

''You have the same eyes.. and I recognize you from the pictures Ziva showed me from you, her and Ari'' Tony explained. ''Although you are much skinnier now than on the pictures''

Tali ignored his last statement. ''Do not say that name again. I hate him!'' She snapped.

''Trust me, we have the same feelings towards a side of him'' Tony stated. ''Now.. you are supposed to be dead. Or at least your sister thinks so for almost ten years. What happened?'' Tony asked, but it was nearly a command.

Tali was silent for a moment. Something about this guy was very interesting. She couldn't stop telling him everything. That scared her, because she could not trust any man anymore. She saw a lot of them in the past years, and none of them were good.

Even with that thought. She closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them again she started talking.

''I do not know why. I survived the bombing... I was in the hospital and revalidation center for nearly 3 years. My father said it was better for Ari and Ziva to think I was dead than to see me, the way I was... When I was allowed to go outside for the first time, Ari was gone on a mission and Ziva was gone too, but he did not say where too. He ordered me to train with the others. I had to go through special trainings, because my father wanted me to go on his 'biggest mission yet'' She started to explain.

''What kind of mission?'' Tony asked.

Tali took a deep breath. ''once I turned 21.. a year after my training started, my father began to explain it to me, in big lines, no details. He said that Ari was undercover in the same assignment I was going too.. However in the time I went undercover, Ari wasn't anymore. He was else where for a mission.. The mission that caused you to lose Kate, an innocent agent. I do not know about the rest of that story, only that Ziva killed Ari'' She paused for a moment.

''but... You were still undercover?'' Tony wanted to know the whole story of her. Ari and Kate could wait.

''Yes. I had to finish what I started. That was my loyalty to Mossad. Just days before I wanted to get the evidence I got to my father, my cover was blown and they captured me. I thought that my father would come. Or at least sent someone, but... he never came'' She said, tears threatend to fall, but held them back. ''No one came for me''

''Where were you when this happened?'' Tony asked in disbelieve.

''I was in Italy. I was there for 1.5 year... then I was transported to... Russia... I stayed there for 8 months and then I went to... Saleem. I was there for 2 years. You do not want to know what they did to me'' Tali said.

''Trust me Tali.. I know. Ziva told me'' Tony told her, he moved from the chair to sit on the bed. She didn't move, but she was tense about it.

''I can't believe that Ziva was there too. I didn't know she was the one screaming, when they weren't _busy _with me...'' Tali said.

Tony was shocked. So Ziva was right, that she heard someone screaming. Tali just told him the exact same thing about it as Ziva did.

''Ziva was there for 3,5 only. I can't believe you survived two years there. Let alone the rest of the places you have been. How did you survive?'' Tony asked

''I really didn't want to... I gave up the moment they captured me. But they didn't let me die. I was too good of a 'Toy' for them, they said. I could not do anything else then just sit there, and be used. And when they saw I was nearly dead or fainting because lack of food or water, they gave me enough to stay alive or conscious'' She explained.

''I just want to hug you'' Tony said. The only thing he saw, was how strong this girl.. woman was. It had to run the family. And ARGH! He hated Eli so much! He not only gave up on Ziva, but he did too on Tali. Why would a father do that?

''No!'' Tali yelled. ''Don't touch me!''

''I won't. But it helps with Ziva, when she is in the state of crying'' He told her.

''Crying? Ziva never cries'' She said in disbelieve.

''She isn't the same anymore Tali. She has changed and is still healing'' Tony said to her.

''How sick is she? You seem to be very close to her'' Tali asked.

''She's my girlfriend'' He smiled. ''But it's not good for you to hear about it right now'' He said. He pulled out another candy bar and gave it to her. She gave him an confused look. ''Please take a bite. I can't stand seeing you in this state. You're a beautiful young woman, but seeing your ribs through the shirt is breaking me''

She nodded and opened the bar. It took a second or two longer as her fingers were still trembling. Tony wanted almost grab it from her to do it himself, but he opened it already and took a bit.

''This is the most food I have eaten since I'm back here'' She admitted.

''How did you get back here anyway?'' He asked, remembering that she didn't tell him that.

''I uh... was transported, to America. DC.. there was an same sort of camp, hidden underneath a building. I can't remember where. I was there for I think a month, when a guy came in. He was undercover too. I did not know him, but he wasn't sent by my father. He succeeded the mission I didn't and got out all the evidence to his boss or something. The day they arrested everyone, I put up all my powers and ran away, before he could talk to me. He saw me. When they 'used' me, he was there too. I did not want to see him again'' She explained and took another bite. ''_Why the hell am I telling him all this?'' _she thought to herself.

''It's all over Tali. You're save now'' Tony reassured her. Desperately wanted to make her feel beter.

''Thank you. You are the first good man, I have seen in a very long time'' She told him.

''_Where is Tony?'' _They both heard a female voice coming from the other side of the door. ''_Is he in there?''_

''Inpatient as always'' Tony shook his head with a small smile.

''Who?'' Tali was confused.

''Ziva. That's her'' He smiled.

''You are kidding me right?'' Tali showed a smile for the first time.

''I would never! I would not lie about Ziva being nearby. I love it way to much, to lie about it.'' He told her.

''Can I see her?'' Tali asked silently, but Tony could see that she really wanted too.

Tony smiled lightly. ''Of course she's your sister. But let me tell her first. I think that she will throw up, when she sees you unannounced, she will think you're a ghost'' He chuckled.

''I guess you're right. I would do the same thing'' She reasoned.

Tony stood up and walked towards the door. He turned one last time. ''Do you want me to tell her your story?'' He asked.

''No, not in the details I told you. If you are right about what you told me about her, she will not take it well'' Tali said.

He nodded and opened the door, disappearing behind it, as he closed it behind himself.

''Hi sweety'' Tony said without realizing it. He gave Ziva a sad smile. Gibbs looked surprised about the nickname, but kept silent.

''Uhm.. Hi Tony'' Ziva said awkward.

''I really don't know, how to tell her story'' He said. ''But I can tell you that, what I was thinking was right''

''You know her?'' Gibbs asked. ''You have an name?''

''Yup'' Tony sighed out.

''Well? Who is it then?'' Ziva asked.

''Ziva...'' Tony started, but trailed off. ''_How am I supposed to tell her this?_'' He thought. ''You know her too''

''I do?'' Ziva raised her eyebrows.

''In fact you knew her better then all of us'' Tony told her. Gibbs listened interested to his lack of clarity. It was obvious not easy to say.

''Tony, just tell me who it is then. It can't be that bad'' She said impatiently.

For the first time he looked at her. Straight in the eyes. ''Ziva..'' He said but paused to take anoter deep breath and put his hands on her shoulders. ''It's the girl from Somalia. The one you heard screaming''

Ziva raised her eyebrows. ''She's alive?'' she asked. ''But Tony I don't know her, at all''

''Yes.. but that's not all. Ziva.. She's your sister. It's Tali'' He said quietly, almost in a whisper.

At his words, Ziva's eyes went wide. Gibbs eyes did too. He knew Tali was her sister and he knew she was dead... or so he thought. But he had not recognized her, because he hadn't seen her before. But it explained things, a lot.

Tony was unsure what to do, as his girlfriend stayed silent for minutes. ''Zeev?'' He asked, looking for her eyes. They stared at him, but she wasn't there. ''Say something, anything''

''Tony, my sister is dead. I buried her, 9 years ago. She died'' Her voice cracked at the last part.

''She didn't. She went through hell those years... yes. but she's alive'' Tony said and shared a look with Gibbs.

''No.. You are lying'' She stated.

''I'm not lying. I would never lie to you'' He cupped her cheek and rubbed her thumb over her soft skin.

''She's alive?'' She asked in disbelieve.

Tony couldn't help but smile. ''Yes. And she wants to see you''

''What happened to her?'' Ziva wanted to know.

''Your father, set this whole thing up. He faked her death after the bombing. He hold her inside while you and Ari went on missions. Then when she was healed, trained her to go after the terrorists all over the world. All of them connected to Saleem. Her cover was blown 4 yours ago in Italy... She's been 'used' ever since then and also ended up in Somalia'' He explained.

When ever they talked about the events in Somalia. What happened to Ziva. They didn't talk about, rape or torture or pain, cuts, burns. They said 'used' instead, to cover all the bases in one word.

''four years...'' Ziva whispered. ''I don't believe it fully until I see her''

''I know. She wants to see you. You can go inside. She's waiting for you'' He stroked away a tear that fell from her eyes. She nodded

She pulled away from his grip and passed him, but stopped in front of the door. ''Tony, I think that I'm going to need you to catch me..'' She admitted.

He let out a small smile and followed her. ''Gibbs? You come too? You don't want to miss a family reunion, do you?''

Gibbs was silent the whole time. He nodded towards his agent and followed as Ziva slowly lowered the door handle and opened the door even slower. As she took the first step inside, her sight immediately turned to the right, to where the bed stood. It was slightly dark and she couldn't see her perfectly, but she saw a girl— young woman sitting on the bed.

She stepped further inside, allowing, Tony and Gibbs to go in too.

Tali looked at Tony first, before her eyes traveled to Ziva. She found Ziva staring at her. Eyes wide, full of disbelieve. She wasn't sure about whether it was because she might be seeing a ghost, the state she was in or both.

Tony walked over to Ziva more and wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her to him. ''Told you, I wasn't lying'' He whispered in her ear.

No response from Ziva. She slowly walked over to Tali. Tali shoved forward on the bed, stretching her legs over the edge. She too said nothing.

As Ziva approached her, she reached out her hand. Tali stayed where she was and after a few seconds Ziva's fingertips where touching Tali's cheek. Tali twitched touch, because all she had none the past years, was touching was hurting.

Ziva noticed but didn't pull away, instead she just came closer and tried again. This time Tali didn't twitch and she looked up at Ziva. She saw her sisters face, her cheeks were wet from the tears that fell out of her eyes.

''Ziva—'' She started but was cut off.

Hearing her sister's voice, finally convinced her. ''You are real'' Ziva said in a whisper. ''you are alive''

''Yes.. barely.. but yes'' Tali admitted. She managed to hold back the tears. She was done crying a long time ago and still she did it in front of Tony. Someone she had never seen before, a man!

''I— I do not know what to say'' Ziva said and sat down on the bed too.

''I missed you too Ziva'' Tali said for her.

Ziva cupped her sisters cheek with her hand carefully as she saw the first time, she twitched. ''I want to hug you'' She said. Before she could register what was happening, Tali already had her arms around Ziva.

''**Ani mitga'a'ga'at lach, achot G'dolah**'' Tali said

''I missed you too. So much. I can't believe this'' Ziva said, tightening her grip, as if she didn't want to let go.

Tony could see the discomfort in Tali's eyes, after a couple seconds. ''Ziva... remember, how you felt when I hugged you?'' He asked.

Ziva heard his concern and pulled away, to look at her sister. ''I'm so sorry'' She said honestly.

Tali didn't get it. ''What? For what?''

''I should have protect you then. Then this would never had happened. Tony told me where you were and for how long. I am sorry, you were 'used' for so long'' Ziva told her.

''I am fine'' Tali stated, coldly. She didn't want to talk about it.

Tony and Gibbs rolled their eyes. ''Does everything like that run in there family?'' Tony whispered to his boss?

''I don't know, _sweety'' _He said, making clear he heard him outside.

Tony looked at him, but didn't say anything. He turned back.

''Ziva. You have nothing to be sorry for. Why do you say that all the time?'' Tali said as if Ziva just said it to her yesterday.

''Force of habit?'' Ziva said. She bit her lower lip. As crazy and it sounded like, she was holding back laughter. But it didn't need to, because Tali was the one chuckling before her.

They both laughed, while Gibbs and Tony both shared a look of confusion.

''What just happened?'' Tony asked.

''We... both had the same memory'' Ziva chuckled.

''A good one I see'' Gibbs said with a smirk.

''Yes'' Tali nodded.

''Tali.. I want to introduce you to my coworkers and friends'' Ziva said. She nodded towards Gibbs. ''Leroy Jethro Gibbs. He's a little short in words, but he's one of the best men I know. He... He's like a real father to me'' She said admitting it to him too for the first time.

''Hello'' Tali said, she waved once to him. ''Thank you... by the way. I was very... tired''

''No need to apologize, I know what you have been through. I just glad to see you alive. Just I like your sister'' Gibbs said.

Tali looked at Ziva. ''They thought you were dead?''

''Oh.. oh yeah'' Tony said.

''They are the ones who killed Saleem. They saved me from there... Tali, if you were still there, you would be saved by them too. I am sure of it'' Ziva said.

''If you say it, I will trust that. Thank you for saving her. I could not live without her'' Tali said looking at Gibbs.

''I wasn't my idea. Tony here was the one, who set the plan... mission in action. He wanted to kill the one who killed Ziva. I think even that he went there to die too'' Gibbs said and gave Ziva and Tony both a knowing look.

He knew. He knew it all. Well.. He knew why Tony went there. Whether he knew about their relationship wasn't sure to both of them.

Tali and Tony exchanged a smile. Ziva noticed it.

''Tali, Anthony DiNozzo, my coworker and my very best friend'' Ziva said with a grin.

''Best friend?'' Tali asked confused. She looked at Tony. ''I tho—'' She was cut off by Tony.

''Yes! best friend. Only a best friend'' He said loudly nervously. If he could, he had covered her mouth. But saying it load, so she would shut up, helped too.

''ooh... okay? Thanks for the talk. I did not really spoke to anyone lately, let alone a man. I had no intentions to say so much'' Tali admitted.

''Well... I have that effect on people'' Tony smiled and winked once at Ziva, but the smile soon faded after Gibbs hand connected with the back of his head. ''Ow!''

''I am going to call my father. I want to see him. _here. _And then i'm going to kill him, for doing this to you'' Ziva stated to Tali.

* * *

_**Yeah so i think most followers saw this coming? :p well i still hope you like it though :O plus i'm not ready for this story to be over any time soon so stay tuned, still have a long way to go! :D **_

_**please review what you think! i love your thoughts... although, don't make them to long ;) For the people who know i'm talking about xD**_

_**-X- Leonie**_


	23. Complicated News

_**Okay! okay. i know that it has been so long, but after the two weeks break i had become sick! :O I'm so sorry. But i have slept all days, only got out of bed to drink something... and go to the toilet. I couldn't stand lights from screens, cell, laptop, tablet, tv or my window... for 4 whole days :S doctor said there was not much he could do, only give me some pills... and i'm getting better as you see! Figured i couldn't keep you waiting anymore sooo HERE IT IS! **_

_**So i hope that your all have sticked around and i want to thank all of you for doing that and for the reviews and new followers. I love you guys! :)**_

_**Enjoy your readings! **_

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**NCIS HQ, hallway, 2:30 pm**

''When can she go home, Ducky?'' Ziva asked as she closed the door behind her.

''My dear. Your sister is heavily dehydrated among with other medical things. I would prefer it if she would go to the hospital'' Ducky told her.

''Not going to happen. She maybe be all tough now and talking. But I know her, she will break down with the news. I have seen her with less pain and breaking down. Tali is afraid of doctors, more than...'' Ziva trailed off.

Ducky raised his eyebrows. ''Ziva... I know that you don't like doctors that much, but I can't help you with the rest, I do not owe every medical instrument and medicine, although I would like that''

''I can not believe that this is happening'' Ziva whispered and the tears were threatening to fall.

''Oh, my dear. Come here'' Ducky said and held out his arms for her. Ziva wrapped her arms around him without hesitation.

''Ziva?'' Tony asked as he stood in the hallway just like Gibbs. ''You alright?''

''Yes.. yes'' She pulled away from Ducky's hug. ''It's a bit too much'' She admitted. ''How's she?''

''Insisting that she's fine'' Gibbs said simply. ''Which I assume is some kind of family thing''

''We were not that much allowed to show our emotions or pain'' Ziva told them. ''I know that when I say that she has to go to the hospital she will break down''

''It's the best, Ziva you know that'' Tony said softly.

''Yes I know!'' Ziva snapped. ''Doesn't mean that I– ...She has to like it''

''What wouldn't I like?'' The voice of a very tired young lady sounded.

Ziva's head shot to the door of the room. ''Tali.. You have to sit, your body does not appreciate this''

''I can handle it Ziva. We both know I have been through much more'' Tali countered.

''I know! As much I don't like to say it, but you're much worse than I was in, then I came here. You have to go''

Tony heard that and he had seriously doubts about that statement. He had seen her and his heart broke when he had to admit to himself that that was not true.

''Go where?'' Tali was confused.

''The hospital, **achot**'' Ziva said.

''No... no no no... I'm not going there!'' Tali said. Her heart was racing. ''You can't do that! I will not go. I will leave.. I will.. I...'' She couldn't bring out the words anymore. Her head felt dizzy and her legs began to tremble underneath her. She gripped the door frame but felt like it wasn't enough.

''Tali?'' Ziva was worried.

''I'm not going, Ziva... not... go—'' Tali couldn't finish as she collapsed once again.

''Tali!'' Ziva called as she knelt down next to her sister. Tali didn't respond. ''Come on, little sister. Wake up'' She cried. ''You have to stay awake''

''Tony get your car out front! She's going to the hospital. Now!'' Gibbs barked at him. Tony looked once at the two sisters on the floor, then turned and ran towards the stairs to save time.

''Ziva, back off a little'' Gibbs ordered.

''She's my sister!'' Ziva screamed, but did it anyway.

''I know that. But you're not strong enough to carry her'' Gibbs and went to pick her up.

''Be careful with her'' Ziva said softly.

''Always, Ziver'' Gibbs said and started walking down the hall. Ziva followed her. ''Ducky, will you get Abby and McGee? Family is in the hospital''

''Sure, I will get right on that, Jethro'' Ducky said and went to the elevator.

…**..**

**Bethesda Hospital 12:45 am**

Tali felt all the pain she didn't felt just moments ago. Her body was like it was on fire, she had never felt that before. She could hear the annoying beeping of machine and than she knew that she was in a hospital. As much as she wanted to run away from those frightening buildings, she didn't have the energy to even open her eyes and she had to admit that the bed she was laying in... was the most wonderful feeling that she had in a _very_ long time.

''_You really should wake up, Tali_'' She heard a familiar male voice speak softly. ''_maybe your just out for 10 hours, but you are freaking out your sister'' _

She was forcing her body to move, she was awake, Dammit! But she couldn't. A sering pain shot through her body.

''_She says that your were never a sleeper, always awake after a hour of 7 and that is when you were lucky'' _He spoke again. ''_She also told me you don't like hospitals. But I understand that your are sleeping so much. Ziva did the same, although I don't think she remembers_''

''_You're damn right I do not like them!_'' Tali thought angrily

Tony sighed deep. Ziva was out for getting tea and for a him coffee. For now she had calmed down, but Tony knew that she was going to break very soon. He didn't dare to think about what she was going to do. He only hoped that the voice wouldn't appear when she was alone.

After a couple of minutes the smell of disgusting hospital coffee filled the room. He looked up from Tali and saw that now, Ziva was sitting next to him.

''Any change?'' Ziva asked him and handed him the cup.

''No. still sleeping. She must be really tired Ziva'' Tony told her.

''It's scary seeing her like this. Not even 12 hours ago I didn't even think about her. She was dead. Of course I think about her everyday, but it's unbelievable to see her'' Ziva said.

''I know. She's save Ziva, no one will hurt her anymore'' Tony said. He looked at her troubled face, and sighed ''They can't hurt you either, Ziva'' He said and wrapped an arm over her shoulder and pulled her closer to him. Ziva laid her head on his shoulder.

''Do not... be... sad... because... of... me'' Tali said. Her voice was hoarse and dry and she coughed through the sentence.

Tony and Ziva's head both shot up. Ziva's first response was to wrap her arms around her sister, but she knew better then that. Instead she remained calm. ''How are you feeling?''

''Thirsty. Tired. Pain'' Tali stated. She took in the two people. She wanted to smirk but her face wouldn't let her. ''How... come... that just... now... I... feel... all of the... p.. pain?''

''It's the adrenalin, Talia. You put up a helluva fight, while you are still weak from you.. _being used_'' Ziva explained. She had heard what had happened, in the time Tali was asleep.

''Here'' Tony held out a glass of water with a straw. Tali hesitantly put the straw in her mouth and took a sip. Tony then handed the glass to Ziva and stood up. ''I'm going to get a doctor'' He said and left the room

''I cannot... believe that I.. a.. am in the... h... hospital'' Tali said. The anger very far away in her voice.

''I am sorry, Tali. But I want to help you'' Ziva said and placed her hand on Tali's forehead.

''I know... for the first time in my life... I think I like... the hospital bed'' Tali said softly, getting a little more awake.

''I had that same feeling, when I came here'' Ziva had a soft smile.

''Ziva...'' Tali wanted to ask something, but trailed off. Her eyes went to the other side of the bed.

''What is it?'' Ziva asked, frowning by the sudden silence. ''Tali?''

That moment Tony knocked on the door and his head peeked through the opening. ''I brought the doctor with me. It's a female'' He told them and opened the door further.

A doctor in a white doctors coat came in. Her hair was graying dark, short just as Tony's only a more feminine haircut.

''Hello'' She greeted Ziva. Tony said down next to Ziva again. ''I'm Dr. Summer. You're her sister I presume''

''Ziva David'' Ziva said softly. She looked back to Tali and saw that her sister was very interested in the wall on the other side of the bed.

''I am the one that examined your sister'' Dr. Summer told them. ''There was another doctor assigned to her, but with this information we thought it would be better for me to do it''

''How is she?'' Tony asked.

Dr. Summer took a look at Tali, but she kept avoiding her eyes, or anybody's eyes. ''There are both physical and emotional problems, I am afraid''

''Yeah, we figured that. How bad?'' Ziva asked impatiently.

''Let me see'' Dr. Summer went through her papers. ''Maybe we could discuss this outside'' She looked at both Ziva and Tony. ''Without the man perhaps''

''No'' Tali rasped. ''I do not want to know what's going on with me. I am fine, but please tell both of them. They helped me''

''Very well, follow me'' Dr. Summer simply said and walked out of the room, Ziva and Tony close behind.

''Okay, doc. Lets hear it'' Tony said and crossed his arms. Ziva could tell that he was concerned too, but why? He didn't know this girl, her sister.

''Well first of all we cleaned her as you can see. Now that we can separate the dirt and the bruising, it didn't make it better. Several cuts and/or burns on her abdamon, arms, face, legs, they will heal but they will leave scars'' The doctor explained. Ziva looked at Tony and he reached out for her hand. She smiled when she felt him squeeze her hand assuringly. She turned back to the doctor. ''What concerns us the most is the fact what the dehydration and starving had done to her organs. some organs are effected by it and will protest when she's going to eat, like you already noticed. we have to build that up with feeding her through the tubes. She will get better but it will take time and even longer for her to put on weight'' She explained.

Ziva narrowed her eyes at the doctor when Dr. Summer looked at her papers and took a deep breath. ''What else doctor?''

''Normally it is supposed to be a good thing, but after what I hear what happened to her, even without the details, I don't think she's going to like this'' She said.

''What?'' Tony asked.

''She's pregnant'' Dr. Summer said sternly.

Tony felt Ziva trying to steady herself, as if her legs were about to give in. ''No...'' She whispered.

''I'm afraid so'' Doctor Summer told her.

''Thank you doctor'' Tony said and gave her look, which she understood as 'Go for now, I'll talk to her'... only in less nicely words. Dr. Summer nodded and walked away for a moment. Tony let Ziva to the chair and sat Ziva down. He knelt down in front of her.

''My sister is pregnant?'' Ziva said in whisper tone.

''Ziva look at me'' Tony said firmly. She didn't at first. But Gosh! those eyes were hard to avoid and eventually she gave in. ''You're going to be an aunt'' Tony said.

''Tony... She was raped and therefor she is pregnant... just like—'' Ziva bit her tongue and didn't finish that sentence. ''I don't know if she will keep the baby. Would you keep a baby when it's conceived through rape?'' She asked.

Although Tony would have liked to know what she first was going to say, the question was honest. ''I don't know. I would have to think about it... I would say... It's not the baby's fault that it is conceived this way and it's not the mothers fault either. It's not your sisters fault'' He looked at her and saw it in her eyes. ''And it's not your fault either, Ziva. Stop thinking all of this is your fault. Cause it's not!''

''I can't tell her this, Tony'' Ziva said softly. ''It's all too much for me. First Somalia, then the voice and this'' she points to her newer scars and marks. ''Then finding out that my sister is _not _dead, then she's been through what I did only for 3,5 _years _longer and now they say she's pregnant. Why did this happen to me and Tali?'' She looked at him with tears in her eyes.

''Come here'' Tony said and held out his arms. She slid down the chair and he wrapped his arms around her. She cried silently. After a few minutes she pulled away again. ''Do you want me to talk to her?'' He asked.

''I don't want the doctor to tell her and I can't do it'' Ziva admitted.

''Okay then I tell her'' Tony said. He put a strand of hair behind her ear and wiped away the drying tears on her cheeks, before kissing her softly on the lips. ''It's going to be okay, Ziva. With you, with her'' he said. ''_with the baby I hope_'' He thought. ''And—''

He was cut off by the sound of Ziva's cell phone. She pulled it out of her pocket and watched the caller ID. She looked up to Tony with frightened eyes, full of fear.

Tony frowned and looked at her phone. His eyes widened at the name that was on the screen *Abba*.

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_**So! what do you think? I know it's short but hey! i just started again! :) **_

_**Tell me what you think in a review you all know i love them :)**_


	24. Serious talks

_**So here i am again! chapter 24! :D Never thought i was able to write more than one stories longer than 20 chapters :) Cool! **_

_**Thank you for all the reviews and new followers and such!**_

_**Won't hold you up anymore. Enjoy your readin'**_

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**Tali's hospital room, 1:00 am**

Tony walked back inside without Ziva. After what they discovered about about Tali, Ziva was exhausted and Tony had called Gibbs to take Ziva with him tonight. In the back of his mind, Tony knew that he himself was just as exhausted, but it was different. Ziva was still suffering with all of this, The voice, the scars, her sister, knowing what they had done to her and now she was pregnant. And not to forget the fact that now of all times, Eli David had called. Of course Ziva had ignored the call, but again it was something they really didn't need right now.

They hadn't talked to Gibbs yet about Tali being pregnant. Hell Tali self didn't know it. Tony and Ziva had made a deal that Tony would talk to Tali and that Ziva would talk to Gibbs.

McGee and Abby were informed and were only there just before Tali came back from examination.

Tony rubbed his hand over his face. He was so tired physically and emotionally, but he couldn't be the one to fall apart. Although... he was extremely close to it. He couldn't. He had to be strong for Ziva. He loved her and therefor he already knew he cared about her little sister. Seeing Tali here now fully clean, well except for the bruising and such. She looked like Ziva, could be her 5 years younger twin sister.

''You can stop staring at me. I am awake'' Tali said a little cold.

''I see that. It's just... Somehow you like exactly like the pictures Ziva showed me and somehow you don't even the slightest'' Tony explained. He pulled the chair closer to the bed and sat down.

''Yeah well... years of '_being used_' as you guys say, tends to do that to a person'' Tali said. She didn't look at him she just kept staring at the ceiling.

Tony looked at the the several IV's that was for fluid and nutrients, slowly going through the tubes that went into her body somewhere under her clothes. ''You still hungry?'' He asked trying to lighten the mood a little.

''If I knew I could hold it in I would want my favorite sort of food'' She said.

''Oh yeah? What's that?'' He asked surprised.

''Italian'' She stated simply.

She glanced to Tony. He had a soft smile on his face after she said that. She somehow wanted to hold back a smile and managed to do that b changing the subject. ''What did the doctor say, I know that Ziva isn't hear so she obvious didn't like it''

Tony settled upright on the chair. He and Ziva had spoken with Dr. Summer a little more detailed after Ziva had calmed down with the last fact. But the news that the doctor then told them, was freaking her out once again. That's when Tony called Gibbs and told Ziva to go with him.

Tony cleared his throat. ''Well... Most of the wounds and bruises are superficial, but you have in total 16 stitches through out your body. You were severely dehydrated. Also your organs aren't used to the fact of sudden food, it protests and therefor you threw up. It's a natural thing of your body, but it's not healthy for you'' He explained. ''There is one other thing though...'' but he trailed off. He wasn't sure why he said he would tell her this.

Tali saw that he was struggling and knew what he was going to say to her. She sighed. ''I know, Tony''

''You know?'' Tony was surprised. ''Know what exactly?'' He asked hesitantly.

''I'm pregnant, yes?'' She asked for the first time really looking at him.

''Yes'' Tony said softly. ''How did you know?''

''I don't know.. It was an a... chump?'' Tali told him.

''Hunch'' He corrected her.

''Yes that too'' She said.

Tony held back the chuckle in this serious conversation. ''_God help me... correcting Idioms 2.0'' _He thought to himself. ''Tali... I'm so sorry about what happened to you''

''How is the baby?'' She asked, not wanting to talk about what happened in detail.

''You want to keep it?'' Tony asked, surprised that she had some kind of dissension already made.

''Tony... I don't know if Ziva talked about me or not, but one of the things that I wanted is having kids. Of course I wanted a lovely _Jewish _husband by my side and a house and a dog. But I always wanted kids. I did not get that life that I imagined and I think I never will... and I did not choose to who the father is... but I think that every unborn child deserves a chance. It did not choose the way it was made. Adoption isn't an option. I know myself'' She said explained.

Tony was stunned by the fact that the words Tali just used, where in wide lines the same ones he told Ziva. He recovered and went serious again. ''There are problems though'' He said softly.

''I know... that's why I didn't want the doctor to tell it. How far along am I and how bad is it'' She asked.

''Well... your still early it's only 10 weeks, but the doctors made it very clear that the chance that the fetu—baby will survive is not big, because your body is in a poor state, you have had too few nutritions in you're body and to little water. It's still alive and the doctors raised the amount of the IV's a soon at the found out, but It's up to your body _and _the baby to survive now and they have to examine your much more to see if there are complications or damage to the baby'' Tony explained.

''How come that your are so calm?'' Tali asked confused by his state.

''It's not going to help to help your state of mind if I'm nervous, or freaking out now is it?'' He asked. Truth was, he was really trying to be calm and the fact that it clearly came out and that Tali did react calmly herself, helped him too.

''That's why Ziva is not here'' She stated.

''Yeah... She's not dealing that good'' Tony said softly.

''She blames herself, does she not?'' Tali asked. She rolled her eyes. ''She always does that. Did from the moment that I can remember. When we were young... I kept telling her that she must not do that. Nine of the ten times she took the blame for something I did, when it was truly my fault... I got into trouble a lot'' She smirked. Lightening the mood with stories, was something she did when it got too serious. She didn't want it to be serious, it depressed her.

Tony was glad that somehow Tali was already opening up to him and that he was getting a little attitude from her as well. ''How come that I believe that completely?''

''Cause, Zivaleh is loyal'' Tali stated.

''Zivaleh?'' Tony raised his eyebrows. ''_yeah she is loyal... no doubt about that_''

''Yeah... That's how my Imah always called her. Abba only when he got mad at her. That's why she does not like it when you call her that anymore''

''Zivaleh'' Tony whispered softly.

''Although I think that she will again when you say it to her'' Tali smiled.

He smirked. ''What makes you think that?''

''You are her boyfriend, are you not? Or are you always that close with all your female coworkers?'' Tali chuckled.

''Well.. I was always this way with Ziva... I know her for 4,5 years now, but we are only 'boy friend/girlfriend', for less than then 2 weeks officially''

''Really?'' Tali was surprised.

''Yeah... Ziva and I.. always have been...'' He need a moment to think about the right word. ''Complicated'' He finally said. Tali was confused and frowned. Tony saw it and sighed. ''Trust me Little Ninja if I tell you that story now, you're gonna have a headache no matter how many morphine you get''

''Uhm... okay'' Tali said and looked away.

''What is it?'' Tony asked.

''Do you think I can stay with Ziva, when I get out of here? I mean I do not want to be a burden, especially with me being pregnant?'' Tali whispered.

''Tali, I think that your sister will be more then happy. She maybe confused now and say it's too much, but that isn't your fault'' She looked up to him. ''Again, that's a another _very _long story. Plus even if Ziva says yes, you still have to ask me if you can stay with her'' He smirked.

''Why?'' She asked confused.

''Cause your sister stays with me'' He explained. She wanted to say something but he cut her off. ''And that stays between us. The others know how I feel about your sister, but they don't know that were have this relationship, let alone that she stays with me even though she was supposed to go home a week ago''

''Okay'' She smiled. ''You are the only good man that I can remember''

''Trust me. The family your will learn to know is all good. Now go sleep, you have to get stronger. I don't doubt your strength, but you can always use more'' He smiled softly.

Tali settled better into her pillow and closed her eyes. ''Zivaleh is lucky to have you, Tony'' Was the last thing she said before she drifted off to sleep.

''Yeah... but I'm the luckier one'' He whispered.

…**..**

**Meanwhile, Gibbs house, 1:00 am**

Gibbs turned off the car and looked over to his passenger. She was staring out of the window but it didn't look like she had realized that they were at Gibbs'. He didn't know what exactly made her so upset or that it just was all to much or both. He did however hear her phone rang and that seemed the only thing that could bring her out of her thoughts for a moment, only to look at it and to push de denial button.

All Ziva could think about was her sister. Tali had experienced the same things that she did, only so much longer. She couldn't believe that she was alive and to know that she wasn't really alive for the half of those years and now she was pregnant, from one of those _men. _I killed her inside. With blame.

''_You know it's your fault that this has happened?_'' The voice in her head talked. Ziva stiffened. For almost a 5 days she hadn't heard it. Rachel was proud of her about that, but now. ''_Your fault Ziva_''

She hands crossed over her chest and her nails settle into her upper arms.

''We're home Ziva'' Gibbs said. She didn't listen— more like she didn't hear him. He scanned her. She had pulled off her coat in the car because it was warm. Gibbs noticed the tense of the body and her nails. ''Ziva?'' He narrowed his eyes.

''_If you just got there in time, you would have saved her. She would never be de— no scratch that. She would never be a hospital for so long, only to be captured just after she was released for a mission. She would have never had suffered'' _The voice said.

Ziva jolted out of her thoughts and loosened her grip on herself, the moment Gibbs touched her arm. She looked at him and saw the confused and concerned look in his eyes.

''You okay?'' He asked even though he knew the answer. He just hoped she wouldn't lie to him.

''It is saying things'' Ziva said softly. For the first time she opened up to Gibbs about this.

''Okay, come on, inside. We can talk then'' He said and nudged her shoulder. He stepped out and she followed silently.

Once they were inside Ziva plopped down on the couch. Gibbs sat down next to her and looked at her for a moment longer. He knew that she was trying to figure out what to say to him. When after a few moments still nothing came he spoke up.

''Don't trust him'' He said softly and put a hand on hers, that was resting on her knee.

Ziva looked at him. ''It's scary'' She admitted.

''What is?''

''The fact that I'm depended on Tony, for not hearing the voice. If he's not around for too long I drift off. It was going better if I keep myself busy and when I'm not stressed. But now I'm...'' She was cut off.

''Overwhelmed, drained, scared for your sister?'' He stated in a question.

''All of the above'' She sighed.

Gibbs' hand went from hers and to her back and made reassuring circles. ''What did the doctor say?'' When he asked that, her face turned even more sad.

''Her body is so used too not have anything inside that it rejects everything she eats or drinks. She cannot eat and drink oral for at least a few days. She has sixteen stitches, bruises, cuts... burns al over her body. They will heal, but just like mine, they will never completely fade'' Ziva explained.

''She gonna be fine Ziva. She has you'' Gibbs tried to explain.

''That's just it! I was the one who put her through this! If I was on time to pick her up, if I did not have to stay, longer because I didn't something stupid, she wouldn't be gone through all of this!'' Ziva exclaimed frustrated.

''Ziva! That is not true! If you were there, then you probably would not be here either! You would have not be at NCIS you would not have met me, McGee, Abby, Palmer, Ducky. You would have never met Tony!'' Gibbs told her sternly. ''It didn't go the way it was the easiest. And a lot of people got hurt, but you can't live with what—''

''Yeah yeah... I can't live with ''what if'' I know. Tony says that almost everyday'' Ziva let out. Gibbs raised his eyebrows at that. ''What? Tony and I have been talking'' Gibbs gave a smirk. ''That's not even the issue right now. What's important is Tali''

''She will be alright. She's gonna be okay, Ziva'' Gibbs said to her. He looked at her face and now began to worry. ''What else did the doctor say? She's gonna be alright... right?''

''She's pregnant'' Ziva said and buried her face in her hands. ''They raped her, Gibbs. They raped her and now she's pregnant''

Gibbs closed his eyes for a moment and let the news sink in. ''_Calm, Leroy... stay calm..._'' He told himself. ''do you have any idea how she feels about it?''

She let her hands slight slightly from her eyes. ''I'm not sure'' She looked at her watch. ''Tony is telling her now. Tali always wanted kids, she loves them. She wanted to be a kindergarten teacher when she grew up. She was always focused on becoming the perfect family, because lets face it. We were not. I know that she cannot give the baby away''

''And what did Tony tell you?'' Gibbs asked, knowing that Tony had something to say about this.

''He said, that the baby cannot choose who his father is, but that it's going to have a wonderful mother.(...and aunt )He's right and I know that Tali thinks so too'' Ziva said.

Somewhat surprised about the wise words that his SFA spoke Gibbs raised his eyebrows. ''It's a terrible thing what happened to Tali... _and you. _She's pregnant and so were you'' Gibbs stated.

Ziva head shot up completely. and looked at him shocked with wide eyes. ''How did you—''

''I know because I know you. I didn't know for sure, but I had my suspicions. Your reaction just concludes it for me''

''I don't know what to say'' Ziva said sadly.

''You didn't know, Ziva. The baby was gone before you even knew you were pregnant. It's not your fault'' Gibbs reassured her.

''I can't believe you figured it out'' Ziva said frustrated. ''I didn't tell anyone. Not even Tony''

''I know. But that you weren't at the office doesn't mean I didn't see you. We kept an eye on you'' Gibbs said.

''You mean that you followed me to the doctor and talked to her when i was away'' Ziva said a little colder than she intended.

''Yup'' Gibbs said bluntly. ''But we were just worried, what you did, inside your apartment we didn't know''

''Why didn't you confronted me?'' Ziva asked.

''Because, it's a much too hard topic to bring it up if you aren't ready to share it. But now I had no other choice''

Ziva looked back at her hands. ''They're not sure, if the baby will survive Gibbs''

''It will. Because Tali will fight—'' Gibbs hold his hand up when Ziva wanted to speak. ''No! Don't say you didn't want to fight, cause you would! _If _you knew! You didn't know. It. Wasn't. Your. Fault'' He said demanding for her to know and believe that.

''Okay'' She said simply.

''She's staying with you, when she comes out of the hospital?'' Gibbs asked.

''Uhm.. yeah, I guess so. I cannot leave her alone, Gibbs. This is my second chance to be a good sister''

''You were always a good sister'' Gibbs said and kissed her temple. ''Something else you wanna tell me?''

Ziva thought for moment and a almost invisible smile appeared on her face. ''I love him Gibbs''

Gibbs raised his eyebrows and smirked. ''I hope you are talking about, DiNozzo here?''

''You know I'm talking about Tony'' Ziva said. She looked at him and saw him smiling and smiled back.

''Good. Do you think he also approves of Tali staying with you and him?'' Her eyes widened. ''You really thought I didn't know that you still stayed with him?''

Ziva swallowed, but the smirk didn't go away. ''Guess you know everything?'' He wasn't a question. She already knew the answer.

''I always know everything'' He said and kissed her temple once more. ''Now go to sleep, you know where the bedroom is'' He said and stood up. He reached out and also pulled her up.She walked towards the stairs but stopped and turned around.

''Thank you, Gibbs. And I love you too. You know that right?'' Ziva asked hesitantly.

''I know. I love you too'' He said. She nodded, turned and went upstairs.

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**_So that's a rap! :D Good day, morning, afternoon, evening or night to everyone! :D Tell me what you think in a review i love reviews! keeps me motivated!_**

**_-X- Leonie_**


	25. Father Child Relationship

**_Sorry about the delay! :( i have a pretty hectic period in my life right now. I try to write when i can, but the time is little. _**

**_Still thans for all the great reviews and the new followers and such! i love you guys. Here the new chapter! A little longer specially for you :)!_**

**_Enjoy your reading!_**

* * *

**Gibbs house, 7:33 am**

As Ziva came down into Gibbs living room, she was pleased to see Tony sleeping on the couch. She hadn't heard him come in last night. She walked to himsat down on the coffee table and just sat there staring at him. He looked exhausted, but also peaceful. A small smile appeared on her face and she ran her fingers over his cheek. She didn't even bother to pull back when she heard the door towards the basement open en close and Gibbs walking into the kitchen.

''Morning'' She said quietly not looking away from Tony.

''Morning. You want some tea?'' Gibbs said, knowing she didn't drink coffee.

''Yes'' She smiled and patted Tony on his cheek. She stood up and walked over to the kitchen, sitting down at the table. ''I uhm... wanted to thank you. I didn't hear it after our talk'' she told him.

Gibbs turned from making coffee to look at her. ''That's good'' He smiled softly.

''Yes it is'' She smiled for a moment then it faded. ''Does is sound weird when I say that I hate it that I lost a baby before knowing I was pregnant?'' she asked softly looking over to the couch to make sure Tony wasn't awake.

''No, Ziva. How a baby is conceived doesn't change you motherly instinct'' Gibbs said and sat down as the water was heating and coffee in the making.

''How did you know that I was pregnant?'' She asked.

''I didn't know before you lost it, just like you'' Gibbs began. ''I knew something was wrong with you, when you went to the doctor. After that I had a guess of what it could be, so later I went into my investigator mode and I found out. I didn't say anything to you, because I knew you would talk about it when you were ready'' He explained.

''And for that I thank you'' She said sincerely and reached out her hand to grab his. She smiled softly.

A moment later the water was boiled and Gibbs stood up to make tea and coffee. From the sounds in the kitchen, Tony began to stir and his eyes fluttered open. He looked around for moment remembering where he was, then he saw Ziva's eyes focused on him. She smiled, he hadn't seen that in a while. He stretched, let out a yawn and made his way over.

''Good morning'' He smiled at Ziva.

''Good morning to you too'' She said.

Tony sat down next to her ''I smell coffee. Just what I needed''

''How late did you get in?'' Gibbs asked and placed a cup of tea and coffee in front of them.

''Uhm.. I think it was just after 3 am'' He glanced at the clock. It was now 7:45 am. He rubbed his hand over his face and took a long sip.

''How's Tali?'' Ziva asked softly.

Tony looked at her and Gibbs, both were staring at him waiting for an answer. ''She's taking it calmly... a little too calmly. She says that she wants to keep the baby no matter how hard it's going to be and knowing about the risk'' He explained.

''She was telling you stories, was she not?'' Ziva knew how Tali was.

''Yup, It maybe a different kind of reaction, but she is doing the same you did'' Tony said sternly.

''Hiding behind a mask'' Ziva confirmed.

Tony nodded and took another sip. ''How are you feeling?''

''Better, I talked to Gibbs'' Ziva said.

Tony glanced over to Gibbs, momentarily forgotten he was still there. Gibbs smirked at him. He simple watched the interaction, wanting to know where their relationship stood. Looking back to Ziva, Tony smiled. ''Good. Did he scare ''_it_'' away?''

''Yes. The voice was scared of him. You know how Gibbs is, with things he doesn't like'' Ziva smiled.

''That's great to here, Zivaleh'' He tried out the name. He bit his lower lip to see her reaction. Gibbs raised his eyebrows at the name too.

''Tali told you that name, didn't she?'' Ziva asked sternly.

''Yes she did and I like it'' Tony stated

''I don't'' Ziva stated. ''I mean I did... but not anymore''

''Ziva, you know I'm nothing like your father and it was your mother who called you that'' Tony said and grabbed her hand.

''It seems that you and Tali are going along well'' Ziva said leaning back in her chair and taking a sip of her tea.

''I like her'' Tony told her.

Ziva raised her eyebrows ''I hope you _love _me'' She chuckled, knowing that Tony didn't know that Gibbs knew.

''You know I do'' Tony said, leaned over and kissed her briefly on the lips. Then his eyes widened at the realization that Gibbs was right there. He pulled back and looked at Ziva. He was shocked seeing her hiding a grin. Then he looked over to Gibbs, who's face was unreadable. ''Uhm... It's not what it looks like, boss'' He stammered.

''It's not? So you didn't just kissed your girlfriend and told her that you loved her?'' Gibbs asked.

''yes.. but—'' He stopped as he heard Ziva trying hard not to laugh. He looked at her to see her amused face. ''You already knew, didn't you?''

''Apparently we are not that good in keeping secrets'' Ziva smiled.

''But I'm still alive what does that mean, boss?'' Tony asked Gibbs. ''I thought you didn't approve''

''I don't like the fact that two of my agents are dating. but you two are both my family and I want my family happy. I can see that you two make each other happy and that overrules the rest. I will make a exception for now'' Gibbs told him.

''Really?'' Tony was surprised.

''Tony, do not do that. Other wise he will reconsider'' Ziva touched his arm.

''She's right DiNozzo. I also reconsider it if I hear that you hurt her in anyway. I will shoot you and bring Abby along to make sure I leave no evidence, is that understood?''Gibbs stated seriously.

'Tony nodded, knowing that Gibbs would actually do that. ''I love her, I wouldn't hurt her on purpose''

''Don't care what the reason is. Understood?'' Gibbs demanded.

''Yes of course boss'' Tony said confident. He looked over to Ziva who just grinned at him.

''Ziva, why don't you take a shower?'' Gibbs asked. ''If everyone's ready we go to the hospital again'' Ziva nodded and emptied her cup of tea. She stood up and gave Tony a kiss on his cheek, which made him smile and walked upstairs. Gibbs turned to Tony. ''How are you feeling Tony?'' Already knowing the answer.

Tony looked at him. He kew that look. The older mans eyes daring him not to even think about lying to him. ''I uh... am tired, boss'' He admitted.

''The past weeks have been hard on you'' Gibbs stated.

''Yeah kinda. But I won't break down!'' He protested, more to himself than to Gibbs who had said nothing about it.

''Sometimes, DiNozzo. It makes it easier after a breakdown. Look at Ziva. She had breakdowns yesterday and now she is calm'' Gibbs said.

''Yeah, she looks so much more at peace doesn't she?'' Tony smiled to himself.

''You did a great job, DiNozzo'' Gibbs assured him.

''Did you just gave me a complement?'' Tony asked shocked.

''Don't get used to it. Won't happen anytime soon'' Gibbs said sternly.

Tony snorted and then the smile faded as Ziva's phone that was still lying on the kitchen table began to ring. Tony picked it up and ran a hand over his face, seeing the name on the caller ID. He clicked to ignore the call and threw it back on the table.

Tony looked at Gibbs, who had his eyebrows raised. He let out a deep sigh. ''Ziva didn't tell you about Eli David calling her, did she?''

Gibbs was surprised to hear the name, after all what happened. ''No''

Tony growled. ''Of all the times, he had to choose _now _to call her''

''Do you think he knows that Tali is hear?'' Gibbs asked.

''You read my mind, boss. I do think that, I just don't know how much he knows or why he's calling'' Tony said. ''He left both of his daughters out there to die, after he separated them for 9,5 years. What kind of father does that?'' He voice full of frustration.

''Don't know, DiNozzo'' Gibbs said honestly.

Tony looked at Gibbs, trying to read the older mans face. His voice was smaller and with concern. Tony picked it up. ''This father daughter thing is getting to you too, isn't it?''

''The connection between father and child is supposed to be good. A child is supposed to see his or hers father as his or hers hero. The strongest man that will protect you no matter what. You two both hadn't have that and I...'' Gibbs trailed off and looked away.

''Gibbs, what happened back then is _not _your fault'' Tony knew what he was talking about. ''And look at Ziva, she think that about you more than about Eli. She may not say it and she's maybe older. But if Ziva would be younger or _I _would be younger. We would have think that about you. I know for sure that you were a great father. You still are! For me, Ziva, Abby and McGee, whether you like it or not'' Tony explained. He knew that Gibbs didn't like to talk about what happened, but he had to say it. Had to convince Gibbs with the truth. ''What happened to all of us is not your fault. Shannon and Kelly was _not_ your fault''

Gibbs let out a small smile. ''Since when did you became so wise?'' He said and looked up at Tony.

''I had to grow up, in a short time this few weeks. But I learned from the best'' Tony said honestly.

''Don't expect me to lay off the head slaps, DiNozzo'' Gibbs smirked.

''Wouldn't be you if you did, boss'' Tony said.

A moment of silence ran over them as the both finished their coffee. 10 minutes later Zivacame down. ''Oh, thank god!'' she said with a sign of relief.

''What?'' the men asked at once.

''Well it was so quiet. So I thought that Gibbs had killed Tony, because of his rambling'' Ziva chuckled.

''No, you can't get rid of me that easily'' Tony grinned.

''Yes I can! But I don't want that'' Ziva smiled back.

''Gonna go shower and change'' Gibbs said as he stood up. ''And you two. Don't bring it into the office and don't bring it into my house'' Gibbs pointed at the two.

''Don't know where you're talking about, Gibbs'' Tony laughed. Gibbs glared at him. ''Of course not, boss''

''Good than, I'm very happy for you guys'' He said and went upstairs. As he passed Ziva he gave her a kiss on the forehead.

Before Ziva could ask why Gibbs' face and body language was so full of emotions, the phone rang again. Both Tony and Ziva were silent. Tony looked at Ziva, but both didn't move. After 5 rings it stopped again.

Ziva closed her eyes frustrated and relieved.

''I don't want to talk to him'' Ziva said quietly.

''Then don't'' Tony said simply.

''Tony, he's my father. I can't ignore him'' Ziva argued.

''Works for me for over ten years now, Zee-vah'' Tony retorted. ''_Of course he did the same thing when I was young for my whole life... but okay_'' Tony thought to himself.

Ziva sighed. He was right. He gave her up, left her for death and didn't do _anything _to help her. There was really no reason for him to expect that she was going to accept his call. ''Okay. You are right''

Tony smirked. ''I am always right''

''You wish'' She said. She stood up from her seat only to sit on Tony's lap facing him.

''I don't wish that'' Tony told her, his hands automatically resting on her hips.

''Then what do you wish?'' Ziva asked. Her voice was low and she looked him in the eyes.

''I can't tell you that, otherwise my wish won't come true'' Tony said with a husky voice. His eyes flickered from her eyes to her lips and back up again.

Ziva smirked. ''I guess I have a pretty good idea of what you want, right now'' She leaned forward and captured his lips with her own, in a quick kiss and pulled back. ''Did I guess it right?''

Tony grinned, but didn't say anything. This time he leaned forward and attacked her lips, in a passionate, almost hungry kiss. Ziva's fingers played with the hairs at the back of his neck and Tony hands slowly drifted up from her hips to her sides.

Tony pulled Ziva closer and wanted to deepen the kiss, when they both felt the sting on the back of their heads. Gasping in surprised they pulled apart.

''What did I just tell you guys about, leaving it out of my house!'' Gibbs snapped.

Ziva abruptly climbed from Tony's lap and stood. ''Gibbs! I.. we.. just..uhm'' Gibbs smirked. She sighed. ''Won't happen again, Gibbs''

''Better not'' Gibbs said and walked away.

Ziva turned to Tony again and was surprised to see him grinning at her. ''What's with you?''

''You forgot that we were at Gibbs house'' He said amused.

''And you didn't?'' Ziva raised her eyebrows and folded her arms over her chest.

''I did'' He paused. ''It's just nice to do that. Seeing that you have no worries for just a couple of minutes, forgetting about all the pain and such. Gibbs saw it too that's why he smirked''

Ziva put both her hands on his cheeks and rested her forehead against his. ''I love you''

''I love you too'' Tony said and stole a quick kiss.

They both didn't know that Gibbs was still standing in the living room just out of sight. He smiled to himself. As much he disliked they broke his rules, how can he be mad about this? He looked at the picture on the wall. ''Even when you're up there you're still reminding me that you're always right'' He whispered. _Soul mate couples can handle every break through every obstacle they will meet on their paths. _Shannon had told him.

…**...**

**Hospital, 9:12 am**

As Tony, Ziva and Gibbs came into the hallway of Tali's hospital room, again a cell phone went off. Tony and Ziva looked at each other, nope this wasn't their ring tone. They stopped and looked at Gibbs. He smirked and grabbed his cellphone, shaking his head when he saw who was calling.

''Yeah, Abbs'' Gibbs answered.

''_Gibbs Gibbs Gibbs! How is our newest Israeli friend! How's Ziva? Is she okay?''_ Abby's voice came load and clear through the phone. Load enough for Tony and Ziva to hear too.

''Calm down Abs. We are in the hospital now. Were just about to go to Tali. She's as good as she can be and Ziva is fine'' Gibbs reassured her.

_''When can we go see her too?'' _Abby asked.

Gibbs looked at Ziva, who had pleading eyes. Knowing Tali full well that a crowd wasn't her thing. ''Not until she's out of the hospital, Abby. She's still getting used to more than one person in the room. Let alone your positive energy''

Abby sighed on the other side of the line. ''_Okay. I will tell McGee and Ducky that. Do you know when she comes out?_''

''Doctor says when she eats and doesn't throw it up'' Gibbs explained. ''Should be 2 nights or something''

A moment of silence on the other side of the line, but then, ''_Okay_'' Abby said softly, not liking that it still would be so long for her to see Ziva's sister. ''I'll call you later tonight''

''I know'' Gibbs said and with that he hung up. He looked up to Tony and Ziva.

''Hard to say no to her, isn't it?'' Tony smirked.

''Uhu'' was all Gibbs said and they started walking again.

When they arrived by the door of the room, they looked through the glass of the closed door. They saw Tali sitting a little more upright and she was zapping through the channels of the TV with the remote in hand. By the looks of it, she couldn't find a amusing channel

Tony knocked softly on the door and Tali looked up. She gave him a small smile and he opened the door.

''Good morning Little Ninja!'' He said happily, as he walked in followed by Ziva and Gibbs.

Her face immediately changed as she saw Gibbs. ''Uhm.. good morning'' She forced a smile.

Ziva went to her and gave her a kiss on her forehead and sat down on the edge of her bed. ''How are you feeling?'' She asked.

''As good as I can be I guess. The medication is finally working and as much as I dislike them, they help and I will accept that for this time'' Tali said. She turned to Tony. ''How did you sleep Tony? It was very late when you finally walked out''

''I thought you were sleeping'' Tony said surprised.

''I don't think I can sleep when a men is in my room. Do not take that personally, it is just something that is in my head'' Tali explained.

''Right, I understand'' Tony said and sat down on the chair. ''I cracked my back, Gibbs' couch is not the best couch to sleep on'' Tony told her pointed to Gibbs.

Tali looked at the silver haired man. ''Agent Gibbs. It's a nice to see you again. Thank you for all that you have done for me so far and for my sister'' she said to him

''No problem, kid it's what I do for my family'' He smiled back.

Tali was a little taken aback by his statement, but nodded in understanding. ''So when can get out of here?'' She looked at the three of them.

''Well the doctor says, when you can eat something and don't throw it up'' Ziva explained.

''How are we going to know what if I can eat if I don't get any food?'' She argued.

''I will ask the nurses for some liquid food to start with'' Tony said to her.

''Okay'' Tali was satisfied with that. ''Tell me, did something happened. I'm open for a laugh''

''Apparently, your sister and I were not so good at keeping our relationship a secret'' Tony grinned.

''I could've told you that. I mean your are practically all over each other'' Tali stated.

''We are not!'' Ziva said wanting to smack her sister like she always did.

''Uhm.. Ziver? Do you remember you make out session this morning?'' Gibbs raised his eye brows. ''You were pretty over much all over Tony than'' He said making Tali chuckle.

''that sounds so wrong coming out of you mouth, Gibbs'' Tony said.

''Good than you have learned not to do or even think about that in my kitchen'' He smirked.

''That's the Ziva I know! Always going against fathers figure orders!'' Tali grinned.

''Tali, shut your mouth'' Ziva hissed, but couldn't hide the amusement.

''Oh I want to hear that'' Tony exclaimed.

''you want to hear how Ziva always made our father mad choosing boyfriends he would dislike on purpose?'' Tali clocked her head.

''Oh but your father doesn't like me either... I killed the only man he liked'' Tony stated, glancing at Ziva to look if she was okay with him saying that.

''You killed Najiev?'' Tali asked in surprise.

''Talia!'' Ziva hissed annoyed.

''Uhm..'' Tony frowned. ''No I killed Micheal Rivkin'' Tali's eyes went wide. Not because of Tony killing Micheal, but she just now realized Tony didn't Najiev. ''Who's Najiev?'' He turned to Ziva.

''No one important'' She said and saw the question in his eyes. ''I tell you an other time'' She told him.

He nodded. Tali smiled, seeing that she didn't screw up. She turned to Gibbs. ''Well agent Gib—'' she was cut off.

''Just Gibbs. You're not working for me and I'm here as a friend, not a agent'' He explained to her.

''Gibbs. Do you have any stories that will embarrass these two and make me laugh?'' Tali asked.

He smirked.

''Gibbs, don't even think about it!'' tony ordered. Gibbs glared at him. ''Sorry, boss''

''Well I can remember someone had to handcuffed your sister and Tony to each other and somehow they couldn't come out of them'' Gibbs tried to hide a smirk.

''That's because your hid the key!'' Ziva exclaimed.

''Yeah well, if you two fight and don't want to make up with each other... and I couldn't miss you in the investigation, I am forced to make you make up with each other'' Gibbs explaied.

''And how long did that take?'' Tali chuckled.

''14 hours, 46 minutes and 27 seconds'' Ziva stated.

''Why would you remember that?'' Tony asked confused.

''Please, at that point I did everything to distract for needing the toilet'' Ziva said. Tony's eyebrows went up. ''What? I'm not going to the toilet with you, while your attached to me''

''I don't know about you Ziva, but it seems that the most intense conversations from us are held in the rest rooms'' Tony argued.

''Not while I'm literally sitting on a toilet, Tony'' Ziva retorted.

As Ziva and Tony continued their discussion Gibbs went over to Tali. ''Are you sure that you still want to live with them?'' Gibbs said amused that one sentence from him could make a this kind of discussion between Tony and Ziva.

''I'm not sure'' Tali admitted seriously even though she found it amusing. ''Are they always—''

''Oh yeah'' Gibbs smirked, continuing looking at Tony and Ziva.

''In that case... Is there somewhere other where i can sleep?'' Tali chuckled. She looked at Gibbs who had a smile on his face. ''Thank you again for all that you have done for my sister. And I'm sorry about your wife and daughter'' Tali said quietly.

Gibbs head jerked to look at her. Surprise clearly in his face. ''How do you know about that?''

''Although that they hid the fact that Ziva was on your team and I didn't have any reason for to look into where Ziva was at the moment, a couple of years back, my father wanted to know about NCIS, something about Jenny'' She looked at him, seeing the sadness appear on his face. ''He especially wanted me to spade into your history''

''_Dig. _To dig into my history'' Gibbs corrected.

''Same difference. Anyway, I don't know why for sure. Now that I think about it, it was because of Ziva coming here. The time line can confirm it. I know everything and I'm sorry both for losing them and for having my nose somewhere it didn't belong'' Tali finished.

''Rule 6, David'' Gibbs said.

''Rule 6?'' Tali was confused.

''Don't apologize, it's a sign of weakness'' Gibbs said. ''Not that you are weak, because you and your sister are to the strongest girls I've ever met. But just remember them''

''Oh.. okay''

''I don't want you to apologize for my family's death, cause it's not your fault that they are dead and second I don't want you to apologize for following orders. You did what you thought was right. Do you understand that?'' Gibbs said.

she nodded. ''number 6... do you have more rules?'' Tali asked.

''About 50 of them'' Gibbs smirked.

''I assume that they have broken 2 or 3?'' Tali asked, nodding to the arguing couple.

''Breaking one right now'' Gibbs said. ''Rule 12, never ever date a co worker''

Tali grinned. ''So when Tony asks Ziva to marry him, the rule is no longer broken?''

Gibbs raised his eyebrows. ''You gonna start being a smart ass already?''

''It's just logical. They're no longer dating, so the rule doesn't count anymore, or am I wrong?''

''Yeah, but it will be a long time before Tony asks Ziva to marry him'' Gibbs said.

Tali frowned. ''Why? Don't you think he loves her?''

''I do! Trust me I do, I knew that before they both realized it. But it's complicated'' Gibbs told her.

''Ah that word. Always seems to pop on, when it gets serious around here'' Tali said with a smirk.

Their attention was back to the couple, when they weren't arguing anymore. Gibbs and Tali should've known to be less surprised when they saw them both kissing.

''Hey!'' Gibbs nearly yelled.

Tony and Ziva both jerked back. ''What? We're not at work or at your home!'' Tony protested.

''Which number doesn't have a rule, Agent David?'' Gibbs asked serious.

''The first one is 14'' Ziva answered after a couple of minutes.

''Good. Rule number 14. No couplely business in front of Gibbs, Gibbs house or work, at least until you're engaged, understood?'' He said.

''Yes boss'' Tony and Ziva both said at once.

''See you have trained them well'' Tali laughed.

''Glad that we can amuse you, Talia'' Ziva smiled.

* * *

_**So yeah that's about it for this chapter! :D next one will be up next week. Sorry it's changing from few a week to once... but like i said i can't get a steady pace. i'm tired, still healing from being sick and i'm working and helping to care of 2 girls (7 and 10) twice a week. Gotta love the busy life!**_

_**please review what you think! Do you like Tali?**_

_**-X- Leonie**_


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